Posted on May 3, 2018
Should the Coast Guard be informed of a guardsman's adultery while deployed?
6.77K
15
30
1
1
0
My daughter's husband committed adultery on his first deployment on his cutter. The transgression occurred with a civilian during a shore leave. She tried to give him another chance but he kept on communicating with the woman so they are in the process of getting a divorce - he has agreed to the terms and the paperwork is filed with the state. He desires to keep the adultery from them. My daughter tells me that he now appears to be in a relationship with another female guardsman on the cutter - this I believe is rumor at this point. I don't pretend to think that my daughter doesn't share responsibility for her failed marriage to a certain degree, although he is the one that committed the adultery, not her. My question is, should his chain of command be notified of his adultery, and/or the rumor of his relationship on the boat? Admittedly, there's a certain degree of revenge I would be seeking, but I am also concerned that his chain should know about this. Thoughts please, and thanks for y'all's service.
Posted in these groups: 
Adultery
Adultery
Posted 6 y ago
Responses: 10
Two points. And nothing I say condones adultery
To what end do you wish to notify the Coc?
I'm not a lawyer, dont play one on TV and have not lately stayed in a Holiday inn, but from what you have written so far, you have an allegation of adultery only.
adultery is difficult to prove unless caught in the act, proof by way of a child, transmitted dieses that can be tracked to the host, self incrimination or perhaps a preponderance of circumstantial evidence of adultery (caught lying of whereabouts, pictures entering hotel room with female, receipt and video of his purchasing condoms, wife's statement she had tubes tied and as a couple they do not use condoms, txt messages that while not specific to admitting sex they imply such.....)
And of course the CoC will have to consider the source.. a Father...inclined to be motivated to hurt the adulterer (yes I know what i said..lol)
And then there is some self serving reasons to not notify even just an allegation... Will this person be more likely to provide after the divorce as court ordered with his Job in the coast guard, or after involuntary separation?
I'm a Father too two boys and a Grandfather to a boy, a God father to a beautiful young lady, an uncle to three girls and a boy, and father figure to a now adult lady who I care for greatly and would do what any father would.... So I get the desire to make the guy in question pay for his actions to your daughter... The question comes down to, To what end do you notify?
To what end do you wish to notify the Coc?
I'm not a lawyer, dont play one on TV and have not lately stayed in a Holiday inn, but from what you have written so far, you have an allegation of adultery only.
adultery is difficult to prove unless caught in the act, proof by way of a child, transmitted dieses that can be tracked to the host, self incrimination or perhaps a preponderance of circumstantial evidence of adultery (caught lying of whereabouts, pictures entering hotel room with female, receipt and video of his purchasing condoms, wife's statement she had tubes tied and as a couple they do not use condoms, txt messages that while not specific to admitting sex they imply such.....)
And of course the CoC will have to consider the source.. a Father...inclined to be motivated to hurt the adulterer (yes I know what i said..lol)
And then there is some self serving reasons to not notify even just an allegation... Will this person be more likely to provide after the divorce as court ordered with his Job in the coast guard, or after involuntary separation?
I'm a Father too two boys and a Grandfather to a boy, a God father to a beautiful young lady, an uncle to three girls and a boy, and father figure to a now adult lady who I care for greatly and would do what any father would.... So I get the desire to make the guy in question pay for his actions to your daughter... The question comes down to, To what end do you notify?
(4)
(0)
SGM Erik Marquez
CPT Lawrence Cable - Sir its more common than you might think
General officer https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/army-general-to-plead-guilty-to-adultery/2014/03/05/2ffa791a-a4bd-11e3-8466-d34c451760b9_story.html?utm_term=.bc5fd219c59b
Female Marine Staff Enlisted convicted of "attempted" adultery, though acquitted of adultery. http://articles.latimes.com/2013/apr/24/local/la-me-marine-adultery-20130425
And these from just ONE month of Court Marshal results announced by JUST the Army
Name: Master Sgt. Omar A. Velez-Pagan
Conviction: By a military judge, pursuant to his pleas, of one specification of wrongful use of anabolic steroids, one specification of wrongful possession of testosterone, one specification of adultery and one specification of obstruction of justice. Contrary to his pleas, the accused was convicted by a military panel composed of officer members of one specification of murder and one specification of assault consummated by a battery.
Sentence: Reduced to the grade of E-1, forfeit all pay and allowances, confined for 30 years, dishonorable discharge.
Name: CW2 Lamont S. Jessie
Conviction: By a military panel composed of officer members, contrary to his pleas, of two specifications of sexual assault of a child, one specification of conduct unbecoming an officer and gentleman and one specification of adultery.
Acquittal: One specification of sexual abuse of a child.
Sentence: Reprimanded, confined for four years, dismissed from service.
Name: Sgt. Eliejaiah I. Belton
Conviction: By a military panel composed of officer and enlisted members, contrary to his pleas, of one specification of failure to obey a lawful general regulation, four specifications of maltreatment, one specification of abusive sexual contact, two specifications of assault consummated by battery, one specification of unlawful entry, one specification of adultery and two specifications of inappropriate conduct while serving as the charge of quarters noncommissioned officer.
Sentence: Reduced to the grade of E-3, forfeit $687 pay per month for three months, confined for three months.
Name: Sgt. Eliejaiah I. Belton
Conviction: By a military panel composed of officer and enlisted members, contrary to his pleas, of one specification of failure to obey a lawful general regulation, four specifications of maltreatment, one specification of abusive sexual contact, two specifications of assault consummated by battery, one specification of unlawful entry, one specification of adultery and two specifications of inappropriate conduct while serving as the charge of quarters noncommissioned officer.
Sentence: Reduced to the grade of E-3, forfeit $687 pay per month for three months, confined for three months.
General officer https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/army-general-to-plead-guilty-to-adultery/2014/03/05/2ffa791a-a4bd-11e3-8466-d34c451760b9_story.html?utm_term=.bc5fd219c59b
Female Marine Staff Enlisted convicted of "attempted" adultery, though acquitted of adultery. http://articles.latimes.com/2013/apr/24/local/la-me-marine-adultery-20130425
And these from just ONE month of Court Marshal results announced by JUST the Army
Name: Master Sgt. Omar A. Velez-Pagan
Conviction: By a military judge, pursuant to his pleas, of one specification of wrongful use of anabolic steroids, one specification of wrongful possession of testosterone, one specification of adultery and one specification of obstruction of justice. Contrary to his pleas, the accused was convicted by a military panel composed of officer members of one specification of murder and one specification of assault consummated by a battery.
Sentence: Reduced to the grade of E-1, forfeit all pay and allowances, confined for 30 years, dishonorable discharge.
Name: CW2 Lamont S. Jessie
Conviction: By a military panel composed of officer members, contrary to his pleas, of two specifications of sexual assault of a child, one specification of conduct unbecoming an officer and gentleman and one specification of adultery.
Acquittal: One specification of sexual abuse of a child.
Sentence: Reprimanded, confined for four years, dismissed from service.
Name: Sgt. Eliejaiah I. Belton
Conviction: By a military panel composed of officer and enlisted members, contrary to his pleas, of one specification of failure to obey a lawful general regulation, four specifications of maltreatment, one specification of abusive sexual contact, two specifications of assault consummated by battery, one specification of unlawful entry, one specification of adultery and two specifications of inappropriate conduct while serving as the charge of quarters noncommissioned officer.
Sentence: Reduced to the grade of E-3, forfeit $687 pay per month for three months, confined for three months.
Name: Sgt. Eliejaiah I. Belton
Conviction: By a military panel composed of officer and enlisted members, contrary to his pleas, of one specification of failure to obey a lawful general regulation, four specifications of maltreatment, one specification of abusive sexual contact, two specifications of assault consummated by battery, one specification of unlawful entry, one specification of adultery and two specifications of inappropriate conduct while serving as the charge of quarters noncommissioned officer.
Sentence: Reduced to the grade of E-3, forfeit $687 pay per month for three months, confined for three months.
Army general pleads guilty to adultery
Brig. Gen. Jeffrey A. Sinclair, however, will fight charges of sexual assault.
(0)
(0)
CPT Lawrence Cable
SGM Erik Marquez - But this also illustrates my point. None of these cases involved just the charge of adultery, it was a charge piled on to a more serious charge. The General was charged with Sexual Assault, the next case seemed to have involved murder and other charges, and the last one pedophilia and domestic abuse. I don't know of a single case where the only charge was Adultery or even Adultery and Conduct Unbecoming. The closest I came up with was Flynn, but she disobeyed a direct order to stop and then made false statements about, plus they chose to just let her resign.
(1)
(0)
SGM Erik Marquez
CPT Lawrence Cable - " CPT Lawrence Cable 20 h
The element of proof under Article 134 is pretty strict and there are three elements that have to be proven beyond a reasonable doubt. 1. That the accused was having a sexual relationship with another person. 2. That the accused or the other person were married at the time of the intercourse. 3. That the action was prejudicial to the good order and discipline OR brought discredit to the service. I can't think of anyone that has been successfully prosecuted for it.. "
Ahh, then I misunderstood your point... Did not catch you were speaking to cases of convicted on adultery ONLY. It read to me that you were stateing no one at all had been convicted of Adultery
The element of proof under Article 134 is pretty strict and there are three elements that have to be proven beyond a reasonable doubt. 1. That the accused was having a sexual relationship with another person. 2. That the accused or the other person were married at the time of the intercourse. 3. That the action was prejudicial to the good order and discipline OR brought discredit to the service. I can't think of anyone that has been successfully prosecuted for it.. "
Ahh, then I misunderstood your point... Did not catch you were speaking to cases of convicted on adultery ONLY. It read to me that you were stateing no one at all had been convicted of Adultery
(0)
(0)
CPT Lawrence Cable
SGM Erik Marquez - Think of it as the charge of Speed for Conditions. While it's certainly possible to charge someone for Speed for Conditions, the usual case is that it's tacked on to a series of other offenses that show that it could be a factor. Being more than a bit cynical about things, tacking on the lesser charges make it more likely to get that conviction even if it isn't for the major offense committed.
(0)
(0)
2
2
0
Doug-First, I'm sorry your daughter is going through this and I hope time will heal all wounds.
As to your question; I've never felt that the law or regulations should be used as a "weapon". It's a sad thing to say, but without any discredit to the thousands of service members who ARE loyal to their spouses and children...this is has always been a challenge to families where one spouse may be forward deployed, visiting strange places and being introduced to an artificial "anonymity" abroad. It was for this very reason I never gave any serious consideration to marriage while I was actively serving.
I'd like to say that a "good" Sailor is always a moral one (some of the best I've known were)...but that would be stretching things. Infidelity is a problem found at all ranks, skill sets and all levels of competency. Inevitably, those who repeatedly flirt with disaster get "burned" eventually.
The CoC will have to respond to any information you provide, and this will be doubly disruptive to the command because it came from the private sector. It's not just about potentially losing one crew member to his just comeuppance, but a top-to-bottom event that may result in other people's careers being spotlighted. The higher it goes, the more damage may be done...my advice is to allow his superiors to view these indiscretions for themselves, and deal with them accordingly.
In the meantime; again, I sympathize with your daughter, and as a husband and father...understand where you're coming from.
As to your question; I've never felt that the law or regulations should be used as a "weapon". It's a sad thing to say, but without any discredit to the thousands of service members who ARE loyal to their spouses and children...this is has always been a challenge to families where one spouse may be forward deployed, visiting strange places and being introduced to an artificial "anonymity" abroad. It was for this very reason I never gave any serious consideration to marriage while I was actively serving.
I'd like to say that a "good" Sailor is always a moral one (some of the best I've known were)...but that would be stretching things. Infidelity is a problem found at all ranks, skill sets and all levels of competency. Inevitably, those who repeatedly flirt with disaster get "burned" eventually.
The CoC will have to respond to any information you provide, and this will be doubly disruptive to the command because it came from the private sector. It's not just about potentially losing one crew member to his just comeuppance, but a top-to-bottom event that may result in other people's careers being spotlighted. The higher it goes, the more damage may be done...my advice is to allow his superiors to view these indiscretions for themselves, and deal with them accordingly.
In the meantime; again, I sympathize with your daughter, and as a husband and father...understand where you're coming from.
(2)
(0)
Doug S
Thank you Joshua, just to be clear, is your advice to notify them so they can deal with these indiscretions themselves, or not to notify and allow them to see/find any future transgressions themselves?
I understand the rest of your post and the disruption this could cause, part of me wonders if the disruption could have a positive overall effect of highlighting and addressing, and perhaps reemphasizing proper behavior on what certainly isn't an isolated issue I suspect.
I understand the rest of your post and the disruption this could cause, part of me wonders if the disruption could have a positive overall effect of highlighting and addressing, and perhaps reemphasizing proper behavior on what certainly isn't an isolated issue I suspect.
(0)
(0)
LCDR (Join to see)
Doug-If it were me, I'd not notify them. Adultery is against the UCMJ (article 134) and while I'm not JAG, attorney, or anything of the sort...I presume commanders are required and do still pursue adjudications for infractions of the UCMJ where applicable. Not sure how they do it in the USCG, but I simply don't see how a repeat offender goes without notice in today's climate on such issues. If you're genuinely concerned about this at a command/service level...that should offer some re-assurance that justice will eventually be done. However, if you're seeking more personal or immediate satisfaction...I have no advice to give, as I personally don't see where it would directly benefit anyone involved.
(0)
(0)
1
1
0
I'll be honest; unless this relationship is affecting the mission of the unit they aren't going to care. In addition, just because their relationship obviously didn't work doesn't mean that she needs to go after his career anyways. Grow up and learn to get over crap.
(1)
(0)
CH (CPT) (Join to see)
Incorrect. When CoC receives such information, a full investigation will be launched. No command can willy nilly ignore.
(0)
(0)
SGT Joseph Gunderson
CH (CPT) (Join to see) I didn't say that nothing would be done. I said that they won't care. I've watched similar situations and no one cares. Just because idiots can't keep it in their pants/legs closed doesn't mean the unit needs to start policing up relationships. Waste of time and money. Get a divorce or a marriage counselor and get the hell over it.
(0)
(0)
SGT Joseph Gunderson
SSG Jon Hill and an adult who should learn to not coddle his child. I speak plainly to everyone, not just Soldiers.
(0)
(0)
SGT Joseph Gunderson
I have a seven year old daughter. That being said, I believe that it is inappropriate for a parent to meddle in the relationships of their children. Next, to meddle in the careers of their children's spouse just because they couldn't pick a quality one is out of line; it is immature at best. It is parenting like this that has led to a generation of young adults that want everything taken care of for them, want mommy and daddy to make everything better and hand them everything, and people who violently lash out when things don't go their way. Your daughter's husband cheated? Get your daughter a good lawyer and get the divorce done with. Tell her that people can be shitty sometimes and for her to more more choosy next time. Your child was old enough to get married and make choices. Guess what? She made a choice, got married, and it was the wrong fucking choice. So what? Get over it, learn from it. Help that young woman through it but don't go thinking that going after the young man that SHE CHOSE to be with needs to have his whole world crushed, his career screwed with, and his future risked because the relationship didn't work. I have no respect for people who risk the livelihoods of others as some form of revenge because they feel scorned, jilted, or slighted. That is immaturity. That is weakness. That is straight bullshit. I am not sorry for what I said, nor how I said it. This father needs to scan his damn lane.
(0)
(0)
Read This Next
Continue with Facebook 
Continue with Google