Posted on Apr 27, 2016
SFC Counterintelligence (CI) Agent
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Do you think the military should require any service member that is getting married for the first time to receive a counseling to discuss the challenges of being married in the military and how to protect themselves in the event the marriage fails?
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Responses: 27
LCpl Bryan Sundell
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100% yes, when I married my wife while in the USMC they made me get permission from my CO, the CO said no you need to see the BCO. BCO said see the chaplain then he finally approved. I only knew my wife for 5 months before we married. We are still married today 27 years later however if you spouse is non military they have no idea what they are in store for and feel that counseling should be provided to help protect the service member and educate the future spouse what she is signing up for.
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PO2 Jack Mitchell
PO2 Jack Mitchell
>1 y
I complete agree with you!
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Lt Col Chaplain
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This would be such a hard policy to enforce, so I hesitate to say premarital counseling should be required. That said...I think it should be highly-encouraged. Most military chaplains require couples to get premarital counseling before they'll agree to marry them. They do this for three reasons: 1), it will help the couple build a successful marriage; 2) many chaplains are expected by their faith group to require it; 3) it prevents every "Snuffy" under the sun from trying to use the chaplain for a quickie wedding. All that said: the counseling is only useful to the couple if they take it seriously. I will often ask the question of a couple in our first session: "Do you know what the #1 cause of divorce is?" After they give the typical responses (communication, money, etc.), I will answer: "Marriage! 100% of those who get divorced are married. So by getting married, you'll put yourself at risk of divorce." This usually sobers the couple up, because for most engaged couples the notion of divorce is unthinkable.
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CPT Air Defense Artillery Officer
CPT (Join to see)
>1 y
Sir,
I don't think it's unenforceable. They will certainly submit the marriage license to get their new BAH rate, so that's when you catch the counseling if it was missed. And if they DID miss it, the service-member will get a second counseling for failing to meet requirements.
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Lt Col Chaplain
Lt Col (Join to see)
>1 y
CPT (Join to see) - I said, "This would be such a hard policy to enforce." I did not say "unenforceable."
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SGT(P) Unit Supply Specialist
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SFC (Join to see) I married before joining and still the Pastor who married us asked us to get counseling and show her proof before marrying us. It was something that although we didn't thought we needed, was very helpful.
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