Posted on Jun 13, 2016
Take needs of the Army assignment or keep my daughter? What to choose.
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I am faced with going Needs of the Army, or get out. If I go NoA, I lose my daughter. If I get out, I may not be able to support her. The judge presiding over my custody case told me that the only way I will get custody of my daughter is to get stationed at Bragg. But in order to do that, I need Airborne School. I can only get it if I reenlist for it, but HRC Retention is not wanting to play ball. What would you do, RP? Because I don't want to lose my kid, but I also don't want to get out, only to risk not being able to get back in.
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Edited >1 y ago
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 50
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SPC (Join to see)
LTC (Join to see) I did. I eventually got out of the Army, and i now live 20 minutes away from her. My ex wife still has custody of her, but that's in contest.
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Keeping it real, brother. The Army is going to move on with or without you. Your daughter is going to follow you to the ends of the Earth if she could.
Family first. You can re-establish your career anywhere you put your mind to.
Family first. You can re-establish your career anywhere you put your mind to.
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Chain of Command & especially your NCO support chain along with JAG should be your primary support outside of Retention's piece of the pie. Also seeing the Chaplain might help both you (personally) and the process of injecting good Soldier/family care into the equation. If remaining RA appears untenable at this time, NG and AR are great options that could work for short or long term, with a path back to AGR or RA when your family situation allows it.
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As a parent sometimes you have to make tough decisions. I was given the choice of putting my son up for adoption, aborting my pregnancy, marry someone, or out. Thank God times have changed! NG may be your best bet but keep kicking over rocks till you find a solution you can live with. Not many men will go the tough route to keep their child. I salute you. I will also pray you get to keep your daughter and everything will work out for both of you.
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There is always HOPE! Just do what is right for her & you. Accept whatever the outcome is, move on & work hard. Trust in him!
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The Army keeps rolling along like the song says. We all at one point take the uniform off and the people that will be there after the Army is family. To the Army we are just numbers and being loyal to an organization that can give you the boot when they want is not something to be a part off. It used to be a career now its just a job. There are many job opportunities outside the military where you can get paid more. No one that joins the military has the expectation to be rich or upper class because that nearly impossible.
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Your duty station should not influence the judge's decision in this matter. I am sure there is some great advice out there, but you should really seek some legal counsel in this matter. Custody is custody no matter where you live and your enlistment should not influence that as well. That does not sound legal , take some advice from some of the other contributors and lawyer up.
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Your daughter should come first before any career. If your COC, JAG, chaplain, US ARMY cannot or are not willing to help, then its time to move on and seek success elsewhere.
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