Posted on Aug 8, 2023
What all should I do to get my soon-to-be ex husband off everything military-wise?
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I am getting a divorce, that being said I want to make sure I am not missing anything for what I need to remove him off of. SGLI, DEERS, VA Dependent, Tricare, am I missing anything else? Also my husband packed all his stuff Tuesday and left, and abandoned our toddler and has not contacted me just to see or talk to our son and its been a week. He gets VA disability dependency for him and at this rate, he is no longer around his son and has ghosted, Idk what to do here, not sure if the VA can do anything? He is also in the IRR, but he is not paying for anything for our son.
Divorce
Reserves
Dependents
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 5
There are many things that you can't do until you have a final divorce decree. Until a divorce is final, a spouse maintains eligibility in the eyes of the federal government. Because of that, you REALLY need to get legal advice about what you can and cannot do in regards to DEERS, TRICARE, etc.
A JAG Legal Assistance Attorney can provide legal advice/assistance (they won't represent you in court). JAG offices on active duty installations* provide assistance to reserve component servicemembers if resources allow. Another option would be to contact the nearest USAR Legal Operations* unit - they also can provide legal advice as resources allow.
As a drilling Reservist you're eligible for Military OneSource* assistance and can get some advice about the divorce process (and on the chance that reconciliation is still possible, working though relationship/family issues) as well as many guides specific to the military and the process.
The following is general non-legal comments on what you asked in your post while you get legal advice and/or contact Military OneSource.
When you said "VA disability dependency", I assume you mean he receives VA disability compensation, as "Disability Dependency" doesn't exist. I assume also your question is about affecting his disability payments. If so there is nothing you can do. The courts can consider it as part of income regarding child support, but it's not a 'marriage asset' (again, not legal advice).
There are additional factors that will impact changes you can make as well. For example, you cannot modify your TRICARE until a qualifying life event (QLE) or during open enrollment. Once your divorce is final, that is a QLE and you'll have 90 days to update the policy.
As far as I know, you can change your beneficiary any time for SGLI (in your case I assume you want to drop your husband and have your child be the primary beneficiary) and if you have him added to your FSGLI (assuming you have it), it will terminate when the divorce is final (but will continue for your son if you have him added).
Again, contact legal assistance from a JAG and/or contact the counselors at Military OneSource (who may also be able to connect you to individuals to give legal advice as well as other resources).
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* JAG Offices - https://www.militaryonesource.mil/search/search?program-service=40
* USAR Legal Assistance - https://www.usar.army.mil/Commands/Functional/Legal-Command/Legal-Resources/request-for-legal-assistance-info/
* Military OneSource [login to see] / military onesource.mil) is a DoD-funded program available 24/7 to eligible individuals for pretty much anything.
is your 24/7 connection to information, answers and support to help you reach your goals, overcome challenges and thrive. As a member of our military family, you are eligible to use this Department of Defense-funded program anytime, anywhere.
A JAG Legal Assistance Attorney can provide legal advice/assistance (they won't represent you in court). JAG offices on active duty installations* provide assistance to reserve component servicemembers if resources allow. Another option would be to contact the nearest USAR Legal Operations* unit - they also can provide legal advice as resources allow.
As a drilling Reservist you're eligible for Military OneSource* assistance and can get some advice about the divorce process (and on the chance that reconciliation is still possible, working though relationship/family issues) as well as many guides specific to the military and the process.
The following is general non-legal comments on what you asked in your post while you get legal advice and/or contact Military OneSource.
When you said "VA disability dependency", I assume you mean he receives VA disability compensation, as "Disability Dependency" doesn't exist. I assume also your question is about affecting his disability payments. If so there is nothing you can do. The courts can consider it as part of income regarding child support, but it's not a 'marriage asset' (again, not legal advice).
There are additional factors that will impact changes you can make as well. For example, you cannot modify your TRICARE until a qualifying life event (QLE) or during open enrollment. Once your divorce is final, that is a QLE and you'll have 90 days to update the policy.
As far as I know, you can change your beneficiary any time for SGLI (in your case I assume you want to drop your husband and have your child be the primary beneficiary) and if you have him added to your FSGLI (assuming you have it), it will terminate when the divorce is final (but will continue for your son if you have him added).
Again, contact legal assistance from a JAG and/or contact the counselors at Military OneSource (who may also be able to connect you to individuals to give legal advice as well as other resources).
------------------------------------------
* JAG Offices - https://www.militaryonesource.mil/search/search?program-service=40
* USAR Legal Assistance - https://www.usar.army.mil/Commands/Functional/Legal-Command/Legal-Resources/request-for-legal-assistance-info/
* Military OneSource [login to see] / military onesource.mil) is a DoD-funded program available 24/7 to eligible individuals for pretty much anything.
is your 24/7 connection to information, answers and support to help you reach your goals, overcome challenges and thrive. As a member of our military family, you are eligible to use this Department of Defense-funded program anytime, anywhere.
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COL Randall C.
SPC (Join to see) - That doesn't matter. As I said above, " JAG offices on active duty installations* provide assistance to reserve component servicemembers if resources allow. Another option would be to contact the nearest USAR Legal Operations* unit - they also can provide legal advice as resources allow."
As an active member of the U.S. military (not just 'active duty', any 'active' status) you are eligible for legal assistance. The priority won't go to you (as I said, "if resources allow") and if you can get it from the USAR, that is the preferred route*, but you're not going to know if the installation JAG can support you unless you ask them.
Eligibility for Military OneSource doesn't depend on your being on active duty either.
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* The 'by the regulation' answer is that, "Legal assistance services for RC Soldiers not listed previously (for example, those performing inactive duty training (IDT)) should primarily be provided by RC JAs. If it is determined that RC JAs are not available, these services may be provided by RA legal assistance offices.", but many installation legal assistance offices don't require you to have gone that route first (however, I stress again, "as resources allow" which you won't know until you contact them).
As an active member of the U.S. military (not just 'active duty', any 'active' status) you are eligible for legal assistance. The priority won't go to you (as I said, "if resources allow") and if you can get it from the USAR, that is the preferred route*, but you're not going to know if the installation JAG can support you unless you ask them.
Eligibility for Military OneSource doesn't depend on your being on active duty either.
------------------------------
* The 'by the regulation' answer is that, "Legal assistance services for RC Soldiers not listed previously (for example, those performing inactive duty training (IDT)) should primarily be provided by RC JAs. If it is determined that RC JAs are not available, these services may be provided by RA legal assistance offices.", but many installation legal assistance offices don't require you to have gone that route first (however, I stress again, "as resources allow" which you won't know until you contact them).
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SPC (Join to see)
COL Randall C. - yeah i tried calling Fort Mccoy and they told me no because I as a reservist am not on orders for 30 days
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COL Randall C.
SPC (Join to see) - Reach out to the USAR Legal Assistance. I did a search for installation Legal Assistance Offices around the Fort McCoy zip code at https://legalassistance.law.af.mil/ and didn't see anything else within 120 miles.
While they aren't military JAGs, there are other free legal options that are associated with veterans. The VA maintains a list of options at https://www.va.gov/ogc/legalservices.asp
While they aren't military JAGs, there are other free legal options that are associated with veterans. The VA maintains a list of options at https://www.va.gov/ogc/legalservices.asp
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You must wait for the Divorce to be Final IOT remove him from your DEERS. What you CAN do right now is get your SGLI Beneficiary changed from him to someone else. You can also get your Will and any Power of Attorney updated, removing him. I would also recommend you update your DD 93. You can file for Primary custody for the divorce proceedings and request child support. Chances are high the Court will grant this since he ghosted. And if CS payments are not being made, then either wages or any possible tax returns can be garnished IOT pay Child Support.
You can receive Legal Advice free of charge JAG, you will need to obtain the services of a civilian lawyer.
Oh, one more thing. Since you are about to be a single parent with primary (sole) custody, you will be required to have a Family Care Plan during your remaining tenure in the USAR.
You can receive Legal Advice free of charge JAG, you will need to obtain the services of a civilian lawyer.
Oh, one more thing. Since you are about to be a single parent with primary (sole) custody, you will be required to have a Family Care Plan during your remaining tenure in the USAR.
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Speak to JAG and S1 to start the process. They will give you the crawl, walk, run of it all. First off do the basics. Change your passwords and locks. Remove him from anything you shared. Bank accounts, lease, etc. If you had anything in the way of a power of attorney you need to get that taken care of as well. In regards to Tricare, deers and all that you would need to wait on the divorce to clear. Double check with the deer's office and medical to be sure though. Military one source is another resource to use. You will need to go through the courts to get a determination on custody and child support. There isn't a light switch to turn that on automatically.
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