What are some of the strangest things you've seen an SM do in order to get discharged early?

Knew a guy that went through Basic with me that could cough/hack up blood at will. He joked about it with me many times. There was nothing physically wrong with him, it was just something he could do whenever he wanted. He used his stupid human trick to get out of completing a lot of the PT runs. He thought it was a funny way to sham and get over on the DS. Ultimately, the joke was on him when they booted him for a pre-existing medical condition. He didn't want to get out and was pretty pissed because he really wanted to be in the Army.

An even more interesting question to ask would be "What is the strangest thing you've seen a SM do and NOT get discharged?" In my experience in the National Guard you could act out all you wanted; if you were deployable they weren't going to let you out for anything less than murder or a serious felony. Piss hot? Demoted and counseled, but no discharge. NCO's make a gangbang video with local hags at an off-post bar? Never happened. Shoot two people who are double-teaming your girlfriend on a military installation? Get-off for crime of passion and preventing a sex crime and deploy to Iraq as a platoon leader. A senior NCO and you miss your unit's movement to Afghanistan because you're in the drunk tank: demoted and deployed forward. Battalion XO and you negligently discharge your firearm on a live-fire MOUT course? Never happened. The only one I saw get booted out was our battalion chaplain who refused to train on a dismounted patrol lane, threatened suicide, and was found to have used his military status to fraudulently raise funds for his private ministry. Retired, not discharged. Now he's writing bibles and still using his military affiliation for personal gain. Google Major James F. Linzey. An all volunteer force has its drawbacks.

Had a Security Forces Airman who had his buddy on the same fire team run over his toes with an up-armored Humvee. Except instead of just running over the toes, his buddy turned the wheel and pulled the entire foot and ankle under, causing severe trauma requiring an ankle replacement. Other fire team members wrote statements indicating it was planned beforehand. He didn't get his MEB.