What can you do or say at Basic to ensure additional smoke sessions?

1. Calling him sir.
2. Referring to my M-16 as a gun.
3. Display boots looking like shit.
4. Sleeping during classroom training.
5. Falling out of the run during PT.
6. Finding your wall locker unlocked.
7. Forgetting your general orders.
8. Touching his Smokey the Bear hat.
9. Not knowing your left from your right.
10. Sneaking food in the barracks.

Ask them if you could wear the campaign hat.

On the day we learned about camouflage, We had to camouflage our buddies face with dark green on the high areas, and light green in theblow areas. I did so, but I wrote SHIT in dark green, on his forehead, and filled in the rest with the light green. We were sitting in the bleachers awaiting our next instructions, when the range drill sgt started yelling, “Hey shithead! Yeah you, shithead!” Everyone was looking for the shithead, including my buddy. Slowly it dawned on him the he was the shithead! “Get down here shithead! Who’s your ranger buddy, shithead?!” The drill was screaming. I got smoked, and since you never let your ranger buddy do push-ups without you, so did my buddy. The laugh was well worth the punishment!

I think my favorite time getting smoked is when my entire platoon yelled no balls drill sergeant.

Fort Jackson, Easter Sunday, 2016. Seemed like a calm morning. All we had to do is eat, change, clean some weapons in the CFA, don’t fuck up. People who wanted to go to Easter service were allowed to go. Everything going smooth. DS does random barracks check. 5 minutes later... DS kicks the door open yells that everyone has 5 minutes to get their weapons together and get into formation and that our battles just f*cked us over... DS found 2 females together on the same bed in the barracks alone. He then goes on to explain that because the only time we are supposed to be in our bunks is during lights out, he is going to go up and count every single bed in the company that isn’t made to the standard, and for every bed not made to standard, we will do 20 reps of an exercise. 15 minutes goes by... he counts (ironically) 69 beds not made to his perfect standard... some Quick maths: 20x69=1,380. We march to lunch chow and he says “enjoy your lunch privates, you’re gonna be tasting it later.” We March back. Seems DS had a change of heart. Instead of doing 1380 reps of one exercise, he instead takes the entire company up to each bay, the platoons responsible for the bay (1st and 3rd in a bay 2nd and 4th in a bay, females in a bay) will strip and remake every bed and remake it to his perfect standard while he smokes us. When bay 1 was done, we moved to bay 2, wash, rinse, repeat. Bay 3 was empty so we all went up to females bay. Now while all of this is going on, remember the people who are at Easter service? Yea, so they come back from having a good time worshiping and having a nice service, just to find their whole company in a giant smoke session. When they arrive back, they as well start to recive the same amount of smoke. Because while they weren’t there, they most likely also left their bed unmade to standard as well. So, in short, you want a fast pass to getting an extra smoke session? Fraternize while also making sure your battles didn’t make their beds.

Was told prior do not disclose whether or not you have a drivers license. By all means ask, you'll get to run all sorts of great things. Like a broom, a rock magnet, or the good ole d1 come time to police up the outside of the barracks. You will also have to conduct proper preventive maintenance on such things. This was back in 96, but it was funny to hear the nomenclatures they would give to simple hand tools. D1-shovel, rock magnet-rake, etc.

Requesting to use the head (while in the Army), making reference to the deck or bulkhead, or singing Anchors Aweigh.

Uncontrollable laughter worked out just fine for me. One of my DS looked and sounded just like Yusha Thomas so when he started yelling at us I just lost it...

Had one idiot at intake that couldnt keep his mouth shut and while in formation waiting to get id tags this idiot actually let out a whistle at this lady in civilian clothes well, as we go in for the tags we see the lady ( E-6) now in uniform and the bomb shell was yet to come it was our intake sgt's daughter. He regretted it later that night needless to say.

I saluted the Battalion Commaner...with my left hand.