What is the best way to lead a new soldier who is uncertain if they even want to be in the army?

PVT (Join to see) ,
As I am sure that my response will echo many of who have already posted. However, from my perspective with regards to your circumstance as this really is a challenging, yet sensitive issue for all leaders who posses empathy and want nothing less than the best for their Soldiers/team members. Before deciding, ensure that you do a full circle perspective before placing any type of judgement. First and foremost, if your Soldier has the definitive mindset that they are ETSing with no signs of compromise or negotiation, do not scoff at the decision. I say this because I have seen it far too many times during my 17 years where both peers and leaders will scoff at a Soldier's decision for wanting to exit military service coupled with the assumption that will not amount to anything in their next chapter; as if the military is the be all, end all. However, if the Soldier is uncertain on their decision, this is the opportunity to ground them back towards memory lane to the civilian on the street that walked into the Recruiting station looking for a change. What I mean is this: When most Soldiers join their respective military branch, it normally comes with a set of desires aimed towards personal goal achievement; albeit money for college, embark on their own independent career, provide for their family, and a wide array of other decisions. This is the time to gage the posture of that Soldier and their individual goals. This normally leads to open ended, fact finding questions such as "Why did you join the Army?" The Soldier will reply because of this reason...From there you ask, "Have you accomplished those personal goals that you set forth thus far?" Over 90% of the time, the answer is no. This serves as an opportunity for you to get them refocused on why they joined, and to use the next reenlistment opportunity as a chance to achieve those goals. After that option, then they can make a solid decision on continuing to serve or walk away. At least this will give them a peace of mind towards the next decision and ultimately prepare them for both their current career and the next chapter. Sorry for being long winded but I have seen this scenario play out too many times in which I both take to heart and have kept them to not only stay on the team and continue to provide their critical contribution factor, but to keep them honest towards their personal goals.
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT A ONE SIZE FITS ALL BLANKET STRATEGY, AS SOLDIERS AND RESPONSES WILL VARY!!
Hope this helps and best of luck!

I think leading by example is the best way. Give them positive acknowledgement for an assigned task well done. Not everyone will be cut out for Army life but don't give up on a Soldier too soon.

Something I see too often which leads to soldiers wanting out is the army either not providing opportunities that should be available or administrative errors that derail career progression. I've seen a specialist miss the promotion list (who should have been an E5) by 2 day because S1 sat on the paperwork, bonuses that are years overdue, promised schools fall by the wayside due to lack of funding, ect. The army should be a very professional organization that provides soldiers every opportunity to achieve. If the organization is screwing with soldiers financially or in career progression, it's hard as a first line leader to change the perception that the army can't deliver (when honestly the soldier's frustration is warranted.) If the army wants to retain good soldiers and morale, they need to deliver on promises.

I mean this is the case for most of us lower enlisted. No room to progress we are stuck. As to why less and less go to the board or put in that extra effort I've been in 3 years now and my points dropped to 686. And the rest of the time maxed out. A lot of people will argue that's obtainable but with no college and the new promotion system. This discourages a lot of us. And that's why we don't want to do it anymore. I love what I do. But I can't stay in a profession that isn't going to be able to progress my life.

Have you interviewed said soldier? Figure why they joined and where they want to see themselves in 5 years. Then offer two plans. One, the Army route and show where he can be in 5 years. Two, civilian route and show where he can be in 5 years

Before I retired when a service member told me they were done, that they were getting out. I would tell it's ok the military life is not for everyone, but until that day comes do us both a favor don't do anything to get in trouble and keep your options open, you never know what might happen between now and the time you EST.

My short response is to say, "well, I expect you to fulfill your obligation, until you can ETS. So, shut up, soldier on, and the day you leave, I'll shake your hand and say, 'thank you for your service.' That's better then the alternative."

Gentlemen, I recognize I am not an NCO, but I do have a great amount of respect for the jobs that you do, and the jobs that the NCO's with whom I was affiliated while I served did, with the junior enlisted. Y'all made many officers, including myself, shine!

Any time I reflect on the leadership skills I gained in the military the very first thing I do is pull out the Army values card I earned in basic training and read the values and the Soldier's Code and then I try to live up to it. My last commander in the Reserves told me to carry the Army values card in my pocket. The card stays fashioned within my outdated money clip with all my other cards, licenses, student action card, etc, to this day.

On a side note, I chipped the corner of the Army values card trying to break into my room one night about two years ago after locking myself out.

And this is surprising how? Far too many of our young Soldiers don't understand selfless service and being part of something larger than self.

First you need to sit down and open up communications with the Soldier to find out why he or she is second guessing his or her commitment to the Army. There could be some kind of deeper issue that could have a bigger impact on the Soldier's health and well being. "Not wanting to be in the Army" could very well be a smoke screen for something else. As an NCO, if you suspect there could be some other issue, you should immediately bring it to the chain of command for a possible command referral to the appropriate resource. Or, there could be some other kind of personal problem that might be able to be resolved with your assistance. If that is not the case, then perhaps the Soldier is need of some old fashioned mentorship on what it means to hold true to your obligations as a member of the team, and setting goals for yourself. Negativity only reinforces negativity, so be positive and offer help and encouragement, but be firm on your expectations.