What is the best way to tell your unit that you in no way shape or form want an ETS award from them?

I can't find my first comment, so I'll post again. My second deployment, I was singled out and treated like something you scrape off the bottom of your boot. When it came time for the mandatory end of tour awards, mine was downgraded to below the minimum they were allowed to put in for. To me, that's not an award. That's a slap in the face. What it says is that I was a POS to them, but they were required to put me in for an award. I didn't then--and still don't--want a slap in the face. I refused to go to the award ceremony at all. They rescinded the award and shredded all the paperwork for it. Which is exactly what I wanted.

I didn't want the automatic end of tour award after my last deployment. I simply didn't go to the formation at all, and they rescinded it.

The best way to handle this is take the award but ask to speak.
Then tell the whole company that it is an award for your men doing a super jobs and pump upi how the men make make you the leader, how the men working their asses off for you made it....
Without good men under you, you can never be a leader.

When I was the awards clerk in my PAC, we had this big awards ceremony and I remembermber how one reward had three people absolutely going crazy. My PAC sergeant got into a fight about the placement of a comma with our Major. And to add insult to everything, the guy who the award was for was trying to get it cancelled. Me and this guy were trying to end this with a file this under later. But my seargent and Major were still arguing over the comma. We had the award ceremony scheduled at 7 am, as like a treat and not do pt. And I'm not even joking about it being over a comma. One idiot said it went before that word, the other one said after. To make sure they win, they marked up the actual certificate. It was after 4 am that me and this other soldier just had it. I typed up both ways, one had it before, one had it after. We lied to my seargent and said the major wants us asap. Once everyone was there, we had a mini mutiny. First I put both certificates in front and told them to decide which one gets in the pile. But before we do that, can someone please ask this private why he doesn't want it. Then I turned left, went back to office and waited for mps to show up because I knew there was no way I was going to get away with what I did. Than, a miracle shows up. In the form of our Seargent Major. He asked why I was up early. And because by this time I had lost all filters every soldier has, I told him. May the lord bless him, he sent me to bed and gave me that day off. I never asked what happened. When they tried to tell me, I said I didn't want to know. After almost thirty years, I wish I knew.

I received a NAM after my second cruise just before I was due to get out. While I was told it was for my contribution as the surface supervisor. However; it was known that people would receive this reward as an incentive to stay in the Navy. I felt that this practice devalues the medal. Whether I earned it or not, any possible value that it would have brought had little meaning to me due to the practice.

Sadly, today I regret getting out. 19 years after my ETS, I wish I had remained in the Navy. While I realize that things happens for a reason, I still regret that decision.

Accept the award no matter. You may not like it, just should've sucked it up. Don't act a fool. You showed your ass and will probably never receive a regonition again. If you don't like what you do, then leave. There are others who deserve the praise more than you. Glad I didn't serve with you. Otherwise, a blanket party might be necessary you ungrateful ass.

Tell it straight up. I did during Desert Storm I was informed that I was to be written up for Meritorious Medal for being out there and I passed the word up to the C.O. that I was doing my job and no award is called for.

I had a bad taste after deployment. I sent my awards home in the mail without even really looking at them. 11 years later, I cherish them. This is part of your life and career, just take the award :-). The issues will be nothing but memories.

What I did with one of EOT awards is I wrote a special request and requested that my people that worked for me get an award for it always is them who either make or break you. Long story short they each got their award and I got mine. I however was more humbled when they got theirs. Honored to get mine though I wasn't expecting it.

Not for nothing, but taking the award and moving on seems like the more adult thing to do. Not accepting an ETS award isn't going to spark some miraculous change in the service, and the statement your trying to make will more than likely just be forgotten in a few weeks. Second, accepting it shows your soldiers that even when things don't go the way you want them to, you still do your duty. Part of that ETS is recognition for your qualities as a leader, it is therefore logically recognition for the work performed by the soldiers under you, since every leader is nothing without the people under them.

Speaking strictly as an adult, I'd say just take the award and move on.

Go to and see your 1SG and respectfully request no award supported by a no award memo stating you do not want a award that is the correct way to do it. If you really feel that strong about it. I will tell you don't be the a$& hole who throws it in the trash make sure when you do get it take your soldiers off to the side and let them know their work and dedication means more to you than a medal but accept it with grace after you leave do what you want with it.

I can tell you that personally i would tell them to shove it where the sun dont shine.

Rarely do I post here, but this one is personal for me. Like many junior officers at the time, I got my you've been through deployment Bronze Star. As a new Captain, my S3 major got fired and sent to an individual augmentee position because the BN CO did not want him around. I got to do all his work and mine.

After coming home and playing rear detachment CDR, we had a complete change of senior leadership. Because I was one of the few people from deployment left, I conducted all of the refit. The new BN XO and S3 did not want to do their jobs. After scrounging 4 M777 howitzers form a national guard unit and fighting with Corps S4, the new S3 asked me if 3 bullets were enough for an ARCOM and if I could write them. This guy was the Rear D CD-R for his previous unit and got an MSM for that, but wanted me to write my own award.

I guess the moral of the story is screw them. The ETS award isn't going to feed you and you don't owe them anything to receive it. My friends threw me a nice party and I appreciate that more than another worthless award. Accept what you like and don't feel obligated to make them feel good about themselves.

Times changes all, accept the award and remember that it is part of your legacy. You decide the future by your own actions in the present.

I personally turned down an ETS medal because it was based on rank and not achievement. I had earned higher medals representing much unit over 3 years. Then when ready to ETS CW2 got a higher medal and was only in the unit 6 months

Go in the future 10 years and you'll look back and remember your friends and good times when you get that reward and see the times without a bad taste. Take it. Be the big man and later you'll be happy you did. Trust
Me you will

A lot of guys quietly hate their military experience but go thru their enlistment doing their job well anyway. This strikes me as a case where a soldier send to telling his chain of command "You treated me like a piece of $&!+ for for years, treated the people around me the same way, and now you want me to smile, shake your hand, and pretend it's all been great. No thank you. Just let me go in peace.

In the end, an ETS award recognizes the culmination of your time given to the Service and your nation. Yes, the citation captures what was done during the specified time period, but is motivated by the totality of your contribution. It is military tradition, and refusal is a slap in the face to all those who preceded you and to those who follow.

I didn't get an ETS award, but me and a few others were called to the front of the formation and my 1SG shook my hand and told me that I would be missed. And thanked me for not being a d-bag while in his company. I couldn't have respected that man more than I did at that moment.

Send them a Memo for Record and explain your position. In my case, when I was out processing there was mention of giving me an ‘Honorary’ promotion to SMSgt. I pointed out that I AM a SMSgt, not a MSgt and an ‘Honorary’ promotion to ‘honor’ me for what I earned is NOT an honor.