What is the craziest discussion you've heard/held at the smoke-pit? (Deployed and/or Home-Station)

As a brand new PSG, first day on the job and supervising an extra duty SPC, he thought it pertinent to inform me (he was worried someone else would tell me first) that his wife had two uterus'.

any story that starts with: 'So there I was, no $h!t....'

During the late 90's I was in AIT at Fort Gordon GA, there was an incident during the Sunday morning accountability formation after our first "phase" where we were allowed to go off post. During opening formation my battle buddy is nowhere to be found. A short time later a GSA vehicle drives up on the sidewalk and onto the concrete pad directly in front of our Battalion formation. A full-bird Colonel steps out of the passenger side and opens the rear door. *Pvt Snuffy* steps out in nothing but boxers, white tee, socks and his dog tags carrying his shoes and jeans.
Later that day as I walk out of the barracks, I see my battle buddy smoking with our Drill Sergeant. Obviously curious, since trainees are not allowed to smoke, I walked over to them. As I get close, I hear my battle buddy telling the story from the events of opening formation. Long story short, my battle buddy went home with a woman from the bar on Saturday night. Early Sunday morning, as he gets out of the woman's bed, he walks into the latrine only to find the earlier mentioned Colonel shaving. The woman he went home with turned out to be the Colonel's daughter who was home from college for the summer. As Pvt Snuffy told it, the Col. made Pvt Snuffy stay in his current state of undress at the position of attention while the Col. finished getting ready. He then escorted Pvt Snuffy back to the Company Area, dropping Pvt Snuffy off for formation.
The Drill Sgt apparently thought *Pvt Snuffy* deserved a smoke in exchange for his story.

I may or may not have known Soldiers that have done the following:

A few drunk Soldiers (while stationed in Germany) boarded a train to Belgium in search of waffles. I may or may not have been one of those Soldiers.

Ok, I'll share one of many. I can't remember the year but I was on a Law Enforcement patrol one night in the Washington D.C. region and there was a Lt General's spouse who was physically indisposed in a compromising position by a Doberman whom she'd apparently felt the need to love a little extra special. They were apparently locked up tighter than a pair of Chinese thumb cuffs and the dog kept biting her neck. We had to bring them to the hospital on a stretcher with a couple blankets over them, they had to put the dog down to "remove the obstruction". All in the line of duty...

We nearly got into a fist fight over who would win between Santa Clause and his elves vs Willie Wonka and his Oompa Loompas

Well... I've been party to quite a few conversations that would shock some...

Let's just say I've worked with some folks who were VERY forthcoming about their sex lives...

But just today at the water cooler, our discussion was RISK strategy...

We normally just played Spades or Bones and bitched about the aircrew while doing so.

Field smoke pit at Ft Irwin. We were gathered around and somehow or another the conversation came about on which celebrity you would most want to have sex with. One guy said his big crush and dream was the old 90's talk show host jenny jones. then somehow said convo reared an ugly head and started covering sexual desires and fetishes. Lets just say that the same guy about Jenny Jones won hands down with (and I will leaver certain particulars alone) brought up him and jenny with a very cold clear glass plate. I walked away from that pit right after that.