Posted on Oct 22, 2017
What is the most appropriate way to inform a military spouse that their husband/wife is being chaptered?
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The Soldier has now failed 5 consecutive APFTs over several months. He is being chaptered and is likely within a few months of being out of the military if everything goes smooth. His current ETS is over a year out and he and his wife just leased a new house last month. He hasn't told her yet that anything is wrong or that he may be out of a job soon.
In the best interest of the spouse, I want to make sure that she is aware that the Soldier will likely be out of the Army very shortly (no need to tell her why) so that they can make better plans for post military life.
In the best interest of the spouse, I want to make sure that she is aware that the Soldier will likely be out of the Army very shortly (no need to tell her why) so that they can make better plans for post military life.
APFT
Dependents
Spouses
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 14
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Your responsibility as a leader was to provide the mentoring and training to insure he passed his PT test in the first place.
I can't imagine anyone failing five times. Maybe he wants out.
Are first line leaders not allowed to give a practice test to their Soldiers anymore between the annual test?
"If they don't don't look good,
you don't look good."
I can't imagine anyone failing five times. Maybe he wants out.
Are first line leaders not allowed to give a practice test to their Soldiers anymore between the annual test?
"If they don't don't look good,
you don't look good."
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WHOA the F#$%^ UP SSG. It is grand to want to keep a troops family unit strong, but this is a MAJOR minefield. You are wanting to place your 4th POC between a husband and wife?, one of the most dangerous positions in the world. Legally I don't think you have the right to. Morally, As her husband, he should have been confiding to her all the time, and already warned her that he was in problem, just as he has been warned. This is one of those things, you can only pray about. My $.02, of course
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Honestly, this isn't your place to inform them. That is an internal matter to their relationship and you should not get involved under any circumstances. I can understand wanting to try and do right by the spouse, but this is way outside of your lane. He will tell her in his own time. If nothing else, she will find out when transportation shows up to take their stuff. You can talk to the Soldier about making sure their spouse is informed. I don't think that is out of line since you are still responsible to lead and mentor them until they get their DD-214 blanket.
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Three options, really:
1) Inform the Soldier that they need to share this info with the spouse ASAP.
2) Tell the spouse directly.
3) Have the FRG President speak with the spouse
1) Inform the Soldier that they need to share this info with the spouse ASAP.
2) Tell the spouse directly.
3) Have the FRG President speak with the spouse
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SFC (Join to see)
He has already been informed that he should tell his spouse by multiple individuals in his chain of responsibility at this time.
I was considering reaching out to the spouse myself but I don't want to overstep any boundaries.
I was considering reaching out to the spouse myself but I don't want to overstep any boundaries.
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MSG (Join to see)
SFC (Join to see) - Perhaps this would be a case of FRG stepping in. Part of me feels that this would be their lane.
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