What is your funniest salute story?

This was years ago, it was I believe 1977. I was an augmentee with SP I put out on the fight line at an check entry point. It was an IG readiness evaluation. Unless they were on my list they did't get through. We also had a list of IG inspectors as well. A car pulled up to go through, I checked the driver's Id he was on the list, I checked the passenger and I couldn't find him on my list. I was just on my 3 year of being in the AF, I hadn't looked close at the rank, so I just knew that they were officers, due to the hat. My mind was thinking fast as I knew the procedures was to have the person exit the cart and lay on the ground until real SP showed up. I was frantic as I didn't want to jack up and officer. Anyway I was handing back the ID and was getting ready to tell the occupants to get out of the car and on the ground, as I handed the driver his and when I reached in the window to hand the Passenger his ID I saw the stars he was the inspector General and my list said no picture and just name. Well I pulled my head out of the driver's side window so fast I hit my head good, pop a salute and sent them on their way. It's been some 40 years and I still think of the world of S$#% I would have been if I had told the general to get out of the car..

The old Air Force light blue shirt and dark blue pants combo had shoulder boards for senior NCOs. Those guys got saluted by accident a time or two, lol.

Was walking to chow on Sub Base Groton. Happened to be behind a Chief when we passed a butter bar (guy was maybe a year older than me). Chief didn't salute, but I did. Butter bar turns and tells Chief, "You didn't salute me, Chief."

Without missing a beat, and while I'm still standing there, saluting like an idiot (butter bar never returned the salute), Chief takes a quarter, flips it at the guy and says, "Go buy yourself a cookie" and just walks off. Butter bar stands there, mouth open, for a few seconds, then finally notices me and returns my salute with a quick robo-chop, and carries on.

I crewed a couple Helicopters for a guy named Shanahan. He wore a couple of those star things on his shoulders. He required half of a hanger for security reasons. His half was roped off with no entry signs hanging every 10 feet. The hanger was shared with a UH-1 crew. One day a butter bar came calling while I was under an AC. I heard him saying he wanted me in front of him in a hurry when I saw 4 more feet show up. It got real quiet, then I heard Shanahan say, WTF are you doing in my gawd damn hanger, Mister!? CPT. Harden who came in with Shanahan escorted the butter bar outside and gave him a very stern lecture about talking to Shanahans one and only Crew Chief. If you think I didn't get a laugh out of that one you'd be wrong.

Port Watch Leading Petty Officer, me. Company Commander walked in the door beside me as I folded clothes. I politely said, “hello Mam”, THEN I realized what I’d just done.

Mine wasn’t the least bit funny at the time, but now I can sort of laugh about it. I was a lowly E2, walking across a fairly empty dirt parking lot towards a building. 2 soldiers in a deuce-and-a-half thought it would be hilarious to chase me with the truck. They were kicking up dirt and going in circles around me. I was running, holding onto my hat, dodging, trying to stay alive. Finally after a few minutes they flew too close beside me and took off. After righting my almost-toppled self and trying to see through the cloud of dirt, I ran face to face (literally!) with a couple of captains. Still trying to hold my hat and regain my balance, one barked at me “don’t you know how to salute an officer?” I was still so frazzled that I couldn’t speak. I pointed to the truck, pointed to myself, and straightened my hat. He barked at me again “I said don’t you know how to salute an officer??” I know they saw what had happened but didn’t care about anything but their egos. “Yes sir”, I saluted. Talk about humiliating!!

At the time I was a Staff Sergeant in the Air Force, stationed at Wilford Hall Medical Center. I was walking from my building to the main hospital and passed a fellow Air Force member. After I passed, he called me over and said, "I'm not big on saluting, but if any Officers see you pass a Major without saluting, you'll probably hear it." I told him, "Sir, I'm sorry I didn't now you were a Major, you have no rank on you collar or cover." He checked his cover and uniform shirt, and said, "Damn, I thought my wife had put my rank on everything!" He apologized, and changed direction to go to Military Clothing.

It was raining out and I was holding an umbrella in my right hand when a couple officers walked by. I quickly switched my umbrella over to my left hand so I could salute but couldn’t stop laughing nervously. The officers laughed and said “carry on!”

While attending the Security Police School at Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio, Texas I was selected to be one of the Student Leaders. As such, we were sent to the Junior NCO Academy prior to starting the Security Police training. During this leadership training, we were taught how to do many basic Drill and Ceremonies functions as well as intensive instruction on military customs and traditions. We then were assigned to the positions we would hold through the remainder of the career-field training which would follow. I graduated as the Student Flight Leader and my classmate graduated as the assistant. These positions were designated by a gold shoulder braid and a red shoulder braid worn on the uniform. During this time, trainees began saluting the Student Leaders, and we would return the salute, with the left hand.

One particular morning as we were marching to class, I saw a Staff Car with the Blue Flags and Front Plate of a Lieutenant General (the Base Commander) traveling down the road towards us. I gave my Flight the command to dress (straighten their ranks) and be aware of the approaching Staff Car. As the Staff Car reached the proper distance (by my estimate) I gave the "Eyes, Left!" command and render ed a salute as the Staff Car passed. I then gave the command "Front!" and we continued to march.

Soon, I noticed that a vehicle was pacing me on my left and I glanced over to see a Staff Car's front bumper with a Blue Flag and three White Stars on it waving in the breeze as it drove along. I halted the Flight and had them stand, at parade rest. I then went to the passenger side, the rear door of the Staff Car as the window slid down to reveal the Base Commander, a Lieutenant General (whose name I cannot recall), and reported as required. He then asked who we were and where we were off to and I answered his questions. He commented as to what a fine-looking Student Flight we were and hoped we would fare well in our day's activities.

He also added: “The actual reason I turned around to chat with you this morning was, to compliment you on a perfectly executed left-hand salute. Carry on!” With that, I thanked him, executed the best RIGHT-HAND salute of my life. After he returned my salute, I took one-step to the rear, made a right-face, and went back to my position at the Student Flight, beet-red-faced as could be, as the Staff Car drove on.

I was walking along, cables in one hand and a cigarette in the other. A Jeep with stars came along. I couldn’t decide what to do so I didn’t do anything. The General called me over. Chewed me out and dismissed me. I still didn’t salute. I had to give an hour class on military customs to the NCO’s in the battalion.