What is your funniest salute story?

At NTC in the dustbowl. My SPC clerk, walking between two SGTs (myself & the CBRN NCO) was saluted by a SFC. Without missing a beat, my clerk returns the salute AND says "Airborne!". I asked him WTF did he think he was doing, and he said "Hey.... he saluted me first..."

Mine was a salute that never happened.

We were having an All Hands inspection and review by the local CO as well as the flag staff that owned our command. The parking on the base was very limited and to combat walking blocks to the assembly area, a friend and I showed up early to ensure we got a spot. He backed his truck into a corner of the parking lot. We both exited the vehicle, and standing behind the open doors, immediately dropped our trousers in order to straighten our blouses prior to going to formation......what could possibly go wrong?....it's just two of us in an isolated corner of a parking lot away from everybody else with our pants down & no covers?

I was bent over checking the creases in my shirt when another car pulled in adjacent to where we were parked. I continued my uniform maintenance until something caught the corner of my eye. I looked to my right, and all I could see was ribbons and gold stars. They went on forever & ever. My tiny E4 brain slammed into high gear trying to get my pants back up (I almost neutered myself) and to develop a plausible explanation as to why the two of us were standing there with our pants down and no hats. Needless to say, no plausible answer was revealed so I shifted gears into the possible punishments that might be forthcoming.....reduction to Seaman Recruit swabbing the deck of an ice breaker making backward loops around the South Pole until I was old came to mind.

And then it struck me....the person standing next to me was bent over just like I was. His pants were around his knees; he didn't have on his cover, and he was straightening his shirt. The admiral looked over at the two of us who were completely frozen in our tracks, and said "How you boys doing this morning?" We both muttered a weak and confused "Good Sir". With that he pulled his pants up; grabbed his hat and said "See you later this morning. Have a great day"; and walked off.

It occurred to me as the admiral disappeared across the parking lot that we hadn't exchanged salutes.

LTC (Join to see) Sir this story was something I actually did. I was in the Navy at the time and it I believe 0430-0500 and we were getting ready to get underway. Being a CS(Culinary Arts Specialist) you had to be in early to make breakfast for the crew. Well we came aboard via the Quarter Deck. Which we would normally use the lower V to leave and come aboard the ship. After coming aboard I ended up saluting a LT(CPT rank in the Army) and she returned the salute. After doing that I asked my friend why the hell I did that for? I was in civilian clothes and not in uniform. We looked at each and I was waiting for the LT to stop and ask me but she never did. I was so used to being in uniform that it was I guess second nature and didn't think twice.

I have several stories from over the years but the two best ones for me was one during AIT and another just last year with my former commander.

Back in 1992 (yes, I know I'm old), I was attending AIT at Fort Lee. After we had been released for the day, I decided to walk to the PX, which is now the PXtra for those who are familiar with Lee. As I was walking on the sidewalk, I noticed a soldier approaching me with what looked to be 1LT rank. As we got closer to each other, I noticed two little black squares on his collar. I was confused at this point since I was still a fairly new soldier and didn't quite understand the Warrant Officer ranks. What threw me off too was whether I should salute or not. I truly did not know. Needless to say, I just walked on by the Warrant. Of course he promptly stopped me and, to my surprise which is why I remember the incident, politely corrected my inaction. He was very professional and definitely understanding of my reticence to salute. I saluted him and went on my way.

The second incident was in Yongsan Korea last year. My commander and I left the unit at the same time one evening. I happen to live about a mile down the road and walked back and forth every day. My CO lived near the commissary about 2 miles away but today he had to walk home. We decided to walk together until I had to split off to get to my place. As we were walking along, a group of about 6 soldiers were approaching us from the opposite direction. We could tell from their demeanor they were new not only to Korea but to the Army as well. We got close enough for them to acknowledge my CO but they went right on by. I immediately stopped, told my CO "just a minute", turned around (they were barely a couple steps past us), and educated the young soldiers in proper military customs and courtesies. I respectfully asked my CO to join us and the soldiers rendered the salute to my CO, apologizing at the same time. I was a bit frustrated at the lack of discipline but I also wasn't angry at the soldiers especially since they realized their error and made the proper correction.

My funniest salute story is one that happened very recently, and continues to happen nearly every day. I work in a joint environment, all branches of the military are represented. I come into work around 1400 as other people are leaving, and a large number of them are military, and not in the Army. I've had numerous E-5s, and even one E-8 salute me because they've mistaken my SPC rank for LTC rank. Really awkward when someone double your paygrade salutes you.

I was walking down the boardwalk in Vietnam when the captain stepped in front of me and stop me and ask me don't you salute I told him that there was an AR out saying enlisted personnel shouldn't salute officers because VC snipers would shoot them and I saluted him he said be alert and walked away

We had a cadet in our unit at ROTC Summer Camp at Fort Bragg in the summer of 1969 who was on KP duty one day. A brand new 2LT walked by, expecting a salute, but the cadet didn’t salute because he didn’t think he had to while on KP duty. The LT said, “Cadet, straighten up those garbage cans.” The cadet looked at the garbage cans and commanded, “Garbage cans, dress right, DRESS,” and went on about his business. The LT, still looking for a salute, said, “Cadet, don’t you think you’ve forgotten something?” The cadet said, “Oh, right, sir,” looked at the garbage cans and commanded, “ready, FRONT.”

My funniest salute story was when I went in front of the Board to take the exam for my sergeant stripes. When you first go in, you must report to the board and salute the president of the board, who was our battalion Sgt. Major. I saluted him with a very snappy salute and took my seat. When the exam / interview ended, I was to salute the president of the board again, but this time, I was so nervous and excited that when I brought up my hand, I did it so fast and snappy that I literally slapped myself in my temple! The three First Sergeants, one Sergeant First Class and the Sergeant Major all laughed; but to my credit, I did not lose my bearing! I waited until the president of the board returned my salute; did an about-face and left the boardroom! I did pass my board with a 199 out of 200, so maybe my snappy salute helped me get my stripes!

Nov 73, assigned to MATSG-90 at NAS Memphis, Millington, TN for Avionics school. Fresh out of Marine Corps bootcamp and salty as hell. As we approached the PX we see a Navy Ensign diddy bopping along the other side of the street with his left hand in his pants pocket and carrying a large shopping bag in his right hand, so of course we cross the street so that we can approach him and salute. Not only did we salute, but we stopped, came to attention, and held our salute until he returned it. Now remember his current status. Each step here is now done slowly and deliberately. This is an Ensign we are talking about. He goes to salute but discovers he has a package in his right hand. He goes to move the package to his left hand so he can return our salute but discovers his left hand is in his pocket. He turns red, starts to panic, removes his left hand from his pocket, shifts the package so as to free up his right hand, then finally returns our salute which we have been holding this entire time. We issue a sharp Marine "Good Afternoon, Sir!", drop our salutes and move out sharply all the while trying our damnedest not to burst out laughing while he is still in hearing range.

I was serving in Can Tho a military base in the Mekong Delta. I had to walk inside the base to deliver something. A full bird colonel an I crossed paths. I didn't notice his rank and I didn't salute him. He proceeded to give a piece of his mind basically that I disrespected his rank. I told him that the little black insignia on his lapel was hard to see. He kept on with his tirade. Then I said to him we are in Vietnam. What if a sniper had infiltrated our base camp and I did salute you and the sniper put a bullet right in your head. You would be dead and the rest of my life I would have to carry that horrible moment in my mind. I quickly saluted him a walked away. He did not say another word. Paul Bongiorno