What is your funniest salute story?

On March 27 1967 i was wounded near Dong Tam south Vietnam. I was flown to Dong Tam where i picked up health records to take with me to a hospital in Long Bihn. Unaware that i had my records on my left hand and a cigarette on my right i ran into a Major while limping to catch a Chopper. He asked , what is wrong with your right hand soldier? I said nothing! Then i realized that he wanted me to salute him, so i gave him a salute with a cigarette on my right hand. He shuck his head and walked away from me. You see, we didn't salute officers in combat. Not where we were.
Higinio Vazquez

I had just left sick call and I was sitting down, on the sidewalk of the hospital. I car with an officer inside passed by me. I saluted him while I was still sitting down! He backed up the car and said to me : “ Sargent, I have seen it all, but this is the first time somebody has saluted me while still sitting down.”
Was I embarrassed!!

I just had my right hand operated on as an E-2. I had a cast but did not require a sling. The base commander drove by and I saluted. I knocked myself down, he stopped and helped me up. Of course, by the time I got back to the flight line, the commander had already called 1st shirt to see how I was doing, so it was already all over the squadron.

Our medical group had just lined up for a morning briefing when two new Doctors walked by. They were half in and half out of uniform fatigues with low quarters etc. I think they had watched too many Mash episodes. When one turned to the line of us medics and stared to berate us for not saluting. At this time the CO walked out and commenced to dress the three down as only a former drill instructor turned officers could. He had them braced and stuttering. He them turned to all of us and said “what the hell are you smiling about”? And chewed on us for a bit, but there was a twinkle in his eye that we had never seen before or after.

1970, closest airfield to DMZ. New CO non aviator. All Warrant Officers would salute our CO with the left hand as we passed him. He would go about 10 steps, stop. turnaround with a look on his face of something wrong here but what was it?

Mine was as a young Specialist in 2012 at FOB Joyce, Afghanistan. Positioned at the base of two mountains, it was a black out FOB prone to attacks from 82mm Recoilless Rifles. We arrived at 3am under cover of darkness, and upon being introduced to our living quarters, I decided to go take a shower since the sun typically rises before 5am at that time of year. I secured my gear in the common area, asked my buddy to keep eyes on, and walked through a freshly graveled area to she shower facilities, having only my hygiene kit, pistol, a pair of flip flops, and a full set of PTs. I put the pistol on top of the divider that separated the stalls so that I could clearly see it until I was done. After my shower was complete I went to get dressed but to my great surprise my towel, hygiene bag, and PTs were gone. I was left with only the aforementioned pistol, flip flops, and a wash towel. I reasoned that it would be at least an hour before anybody was awake, much less able to come to my assistance, so I decided to risk the walk back to my hooch under cover of darkness in all of my glory. I used the hand towel for modestly, hiding behind what cover and concealment I could find, and made it almost successfully all the way back without being seen. Almost. At about 25 feet from the entrance to the hooch, a door swung open and out stepped one Major William Slocum. As his eyes adjusted to the light, I continued my approach in the hopes that I could quickly pass him before being seen. He looked my direction, squinting but looking more generally than specifically at me. He scanned past me, and then once I was within about 15 feet our eyes locked. He let out an irritated sigh, and I was so committed to my blunder that I stopped in place. I assumed the position of attention with pistol in my left hand, and quickly dropping my towel I rendered a proud salute and offered him the greeting of the day. He met my gaze, returned the salute, and did a 180 back into his quarters- allowing me to pass without question. He was the CO of my team for 9 months, and we worked together frequently but never acknowledged that moment ever again. I still don't know who took my stuff and probably never will.

I have two. The first involves a 2ndlt. I was walking into my barracks and two Marines were talking on the sidewalk. I had some business to conduct with the sergeant and stopped to talk to him. He was standing at a semi attention which I failed to recognize. He kept making funny eyes toward the other Marine and finally he said "dont you salute officers anymore sergeant". I stopped and looked at the other Marine and lo and behold a 2ndlt. Promptly saluting him him I apologized and said "excuse me sir, I didnt see you standing there". He was dumbfounded and just returned my salute as I quickly made it into the barracks.

Number 2. While serving with the Navy as a Staff Sergeant I was walking on the pier with another Staff Sergeant in our dress blues on the Marine Corps birthday when we saw a navy commander approaching. At the proper distance my buddy gave the command and we both saluted, except I saluted with my left hand. The commander returned the salute and we passed. We had gotten about 10 paces when the commander ordered "Marines halt". We halted and did an about face and stood at attention. He pointed to me and said "Marine come here". I marched up to him and saluted him properly and said "reporting as ordered sir" and stood at attention. He just stared at me and looked me up and down for about 30 seconds, then said" never mind carry on". I saluted and did an about face and rejoined my buddy and we proceeded off the pier. When we reached the endo f the pier I looked back and the commander was still standing with a puzzled look on his face. He knew he had been had he jut didnt know how..

1970 Fort Polk La. Saturday afternoon almost at the end of our training we had a break and went to the PX.On the way back had a large coke in my right hand as we passed our Co.hq.just then our Captain walks out so we all stopped to salute him. I whipped a beautiful left hand salute on him.He returned our salute took a step looked back and all I could do is shrug my shoulders, he just got a grin on his face and told us to carry on.

We had a 2nd Lt. that would call you out for not saluting if he made eye connect from across a 6 lane road. When a buddy and I were coming off the drop zone with our chutes we saw a trooper being drug over the sand. As we rushed to help we regognized the 2nd Lt. I grabbed one set of risers and my buddy grabbed the other. We kept his chute fully open for about 50 yards until we hit the trees. As we helped him up we saluted and he thanked us for coming to his aid. We maintained composer until we were safely out of his sight.

While serving NORAD at Elmendorf AFB, AK, I was walking out from a early morning weather briefing and saw a man walking just ahead of me. I started casually talking with him an when I walk by the car he was getting into I notice the Canadian insignia with the General's flag. I stop look at him across the hood of the car and saluted smartly, trying to apologize for not saluting early. He laugh and said it's morning and wished me well.