What is your greatest failure, and what did you learn from it?

I've always been engaged in anything and everything Army related.  I've done multiple deployments with one year between them to remain at home.  My 2009-2010 deployment was too much for my (now) ex-wife.  

By the time I'd figured out that I was doing the marriage thing wrong, it was too late.  Needless to say, the marriage failed.  Financial difficulties arose.  A house was involved. Bankruptcy took place.  

With bankruptcy, it's hard as hell to find somewhere to live.  I couldn't get an apartment for my sons and I, on my own.  

What I learned.  The family support of siblings and parents truly matters.  Without them, I can't imagine what I would have done.  I remember everything as if it were yesterday.

I went to the last place in my kids' school district to apply for a rental apartment.  The lady said that she wasn't certain that bankruptcy would keep me from renting and to fill out the application.  

I filled it out, but there was a processing fee of $100.  I didn't have two nickels to rub together to pay her.  I thanked her for her time and started to head out to the car.  At that moment, my sister came into the office.  She had come to pick up a key for her stepdaughter (total coincidence).  The lady explained to my sister why I was there.  She paid the $100 for me.  At that very moment, a townhouse apartment just became available that was backed by woods and a pond....for the same price as one that was surrounded by buildings.   We rode over to look at it.  I wanted it!  

Dad Cosigned for me to be able to have a place to live.  I had nothing to put into the apartment.  The only furnishings stayed with the ex.  My bosses' daughter knew of my situation and without asking me, she asked her church folks to help me out.  I had an entirely furnished apartment in three days.

I ended up getting the Dining room table and chairs as well as a China cabinet from my ex.   Dad came by to check progress on my new place and quickly noticed my empty cabinet.  He laughed and took me to his place.  We went upstairs and he did some digging through his closets.  He handed me a few boxes.  It was my grandma's China set.  Both sets of my grand parents passed away shortly after I was born, so I didn't get to speak with them.  Dad said, " Grandma always thought these would come in handy. Take them...they're yours now."

My sister came back and helped organize, decorate and purchased things like curtains for me.  She made the apartment look like a real home for my sons and I.  She also spoke with me many times to offer encouragement and provide counsel.  I'd always looked up to her, but now things have changed.  She's a strong, independent woman who completely amazes me.  I am so proud to have her in my life.

So really, what I learned, is that my apartment and my China cabinet are filled with love...coming from the people who matter in my life.  Can one man make it on his own?  Sure, but without family, he'd never be complete.

Guys and gals, it's fine to be focused on your career, but never ever, take the people in your life for granted.  Family should always be the primary focus.  If you are married, take the time to maintain and strengthen your relationship.  If you don't continue to have date nights, or swoon when your significant other steps into the room, you're doing it wrong.  A stagnant marriage will only worsen.  

I'm happily dating a beautiful lady and I make every effort to thank her and appreciate each thing she does for me.  It's the little things.  The little things matter.  Family matters.  The Army will keep on going without you.  Your relationship will not.  Think about that.