What's the weirdest thing you've seen while on CQ/Duty?

I found a Soldier's complete medical file in a cabinet when I got bored and cleaned the space. His unit had long been moved out of the building, and ours had been there a few months. The TMC staff looked at me very suspiciously when I turned it into them the next morning.

Ack in Hawaii in 1994, when females were newly allowed to come into the barracks, I was making my security checks and came across a line of guys outside one particular room. Well I asked what was going on and the door was opened and low and behold amtrack had made a stop..let's just say the female was well used prior to me getting up there.

Was sitting there playing Cod4 on my laptop and i see 2 soldiers come out of the bay. They walked around the desk and i see movement near my face. " hey graf look" i ignored it. " graf.." continued to ignore it " hey graf look at..." and i took my hand off the mouse and hit him. Apparently he was trying to wave his ballsack in my face for some odd reason. bam rightin the ol gibblets. He writed in agony on the floor to a guffaw of laughter crying and laughing himself, stating he deserved the pain.... they dont make enough hand sanitizer sometimes.

Late 80's Infantry Units, and before women allowed past DayRoom. Caught SM using a rappel rope to hoist a hooker up to his 3rd floor room.

Another, caught an SM trying to sneak in his future wife, past the HHC CQ, opposite of us, A co.

Many times go out for a smoke & smell that funky weed burning & have to pull H&W's w/ an MP present.

Batt CQ, watching the POG's try & buff the CSM's office. They tore it up...just to piss him off more.

Regt CQ, receiving all the Blotter reports of DD's, drugs, speeding, and fighting. Worst of all knowing over 65% of the names on the list & having to call the Co CO's/1Sgt's to go get their troops.

I was on duty at Lejeune during hurricane Fran or Bertha, in the CG's building and I had to run the comm O and batteries to the hospital in the armored hummer.... on the way there was this moron running down the main drag in his flack jacket and helmet along with the rest of his PT gear. The Captain made him get in and while he was yelling at the Marine the guy said po was just trying to get my PT in. Keep in mind the wind was gusting at times at that point up to 60 mph

We dropped him at his barracks and the captain gave him a lawful order to stay inside until all clear was given by the duty NCO..... 2 hours later we hear about an ambulance being sent out near those barracks to pick up an unconscious jogger in a flack jacket and helmet

Once found myself copying down a Red Cross message for one of the soldiers in our barracks.

The airfield I was on in Korea had new IR cameras installed at the duty office in 98. Had ADNCO duty one night and was scrolling thru the cameras and caught a couple doing what couples do when they think they are out of view. Made for some awkward moments the next day or so. But, it was Korea, so like Vegas, it pretty much stayed there.

Had two SPC and a SGT come strolling down the stairs of the barracks building, naked as a jay bird. They were clearly FUBAR, and so the CQNCO asked them what in the hell they were thinking. The only response that we could get from them as we ushered them back to their rooms was "We're off to Battle!! We gotta go kill the hajis!!"

Halloween time on EAC duty (as a single soldier mom with two daughters under 10), I was making "spiders" with yarn. Since I was at the HQ at COrps, the duty was in the Corps AG's conference room. My "spiders" were spread all around the conference table. The EAC officer was our S-2 that evening and she was commenting and admiring my creativity on a low budget. Wasn't Germany a hoot? Yeahhhhhh. It had its moments.

Tracked vehicle Maint Officer coming up out of a creek leaving Camp Barrett (TBS), after he ran his van into it.