Posted on Sep 22, 2016
SSG Ncoic, Department Of Hospital Education & Staff Development
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We've all been guilty of "shamming" at one time or another, but some of us make it an art. My best strategy was always having two hats and leaving one on my desk in my office, so if anyone came looking for me they'd see it and assume I was still in the building somewhere. Brilliant. What are your best tactics, techniques, and procedures when it comes to shamming?
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CW3 Amso / Instructor Pilot / Uh 60
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218
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Became a warrant officer...
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SGT Danny Maiorani
SGT Danny Maiorani
>1 y
SGT Oli Dominguez - sarcasm or for real? I think they're much more common in certain companies with certain MOS designations. For example companies with pilots, or maintenance/supply companies.

They're officers that know a trade. So my maintenance company had them, they were technical advisors for the machinists and mechanics.
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SGT Danny Maiorani
SGT Danny Maiorani
>1 y
SGT Sean Whitenton - The reason nobody fucks with them is they get the privileges of being an Officer (at least compared to Enlisted) yet they know the enlisted side as well. Aside from the helo pilots, Chiefs are people that mastered their MOS and so they were given a pass on having a college degree. I made E5 in the Army in 2.5 years, because I was a good mechanic pre Army. I fast track tested right out of AIT (and cock blocked myself because of it when I got sent to my station). There at the time were like 6 requirements, most to do with technical proficiency.

The applicable Warrant Officer MOS is now 919a, which is "Engineer Equipment Maintenance Warrant Officer" and feeder Mos are 91B, C, D, L, H, X, 91J. I didn't look the others up but the feeders at my time were mechanics, machinists, welders, etc.

Requires being E5 or above, 60 months in primary mos, advanced leadership course graduate from feeder mos, 6 semester hrs of college level English or equivalent TABE test score, high fitness test scores, vision correctable to 20/20, not color blind, fully deployable, and from what I remember documented squad or platoon leader for 2 years.

I tried to become one, but couldn't get enough waivers, and faced with my potential reup duty station guarantees of Ft. Lewis (I'm from Seattle, pt daily in the rain no thanks), Ft Hood (somebody say I'm deploying in 6 months after returning from Iraq?), and Ft. Irwin (in the field constantly fuck that) I got out.
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Sgt Joseph Jal
Sgt Joseph Jal
>1 y
1st prize goes to...
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CW3 Harvey Keck
CW3 Harvey Keck
>1 y
SGT Oli Dominguez - They only materialize when a disaster must be averted.
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MSG Pat Colby
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My (then 10 year old) Son and I were talking many years ago and I said I needed to figure out a way to get away from some Army idiots when they cornered me in conversation. He gave me one of his toy cell phones and told me to reach in my pocket and hit the button and pretend I had a call. Worked like a charm for years.
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SFC Construction Operations Sergeant
SFC (Join to see)
>1 y
Nobody thought you were crazy for pulling a toy cell phone out of your pocket and taking into it?
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SSG James Wilson
SSG James Wilson
>1 y
I would act like I was in a hurry And say I will be back as soon as I can, by the time I would get back they would have someone else doing the work
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MSG Pat Colby
MSG Pat Colby
>1 y
I'd say "It's Division. I gotta take this." Then I'd walk away at a brisk pace.
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SGT Weapons Load Crew Member
SGT (Join to see)
>1 y
10/10, promote kid ahead of peers. He's gonna make a damn fine member of the E4 mafia someday!
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SSG G2 Ops Mcp Ncoic
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Edited 3 y ago
I knew a SFC who used to keep his fleece on his chair and his PC on his desk. The light and door of his office were always open but I never saw him. I walked to his office looking for him and saw his PC and fleece in the normal place. Then I walked out the back steps of the building and saw him at the smoke pit with his fleece on and his PC. I stopped, turned around went back into his office...and sure enough he had duplicates of those at his desk.
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SPC Clell Henderson
SPC Clell Henderson
>1 y
I would walk around the motor pool and asking NCOs if they've seen so and so, when they said that they hadn't, I'd just keep looking. It got me out of so many details!
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CPT Christophoer Lum
CPT Christophoer Lum
>1 y
I did that with my beret
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CPT Everett Steele
CPT Everett Steele
>1 y
Extra beret and extra car keys. Beret on the desk, car keys on top of beret. Enjoy your day, Soldier!
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SSgt GG-15 RET Jim Lint
SSgt GG-15 RET Jim Lint
>1 y
MSG Joe Santiago - I thought that also, but PC = Patrol Cap.
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