What's your funniest "The Military Just Came Out Of Me" moment in the workplace?

LOL!! Mine cones out when I’m mad! I use my “dont f with me voice “…… calm and controlled!!

Posted the original statement before about saying 'they actually pay us to do this' when flying over fall foliage in New England. In my civilian job working with animals I made a similar statement and the biologists all looked at me like I was crazy.

Oh, yeah it did! Several years after separation from service (4 years, USAF, Vietnam era), as V.P. & director of training for a multi-office real estate firm, I was teaching a 2-week class of 20+ newly-licensed Realtors in the fine art & science of how to succeed real estate sales. One day, in week 1, I noticed this one clown who was sitting at a table on the back row reading a comic book. A f---ing COMIC BOOK!!
I paused for about 30 seconds in the middle of my presentation, walked calmly up to him, leaned over, hands on hips, & said- in my finest (& loudest) DI/command voice: "AM I BORING YOU, MR. JACKWAGON (real name withheld)!??? I'm also a 3rd generation Army brat, so I knew full well how to do it. You could have heard a pin drop.
After a few moments of stammering on his part, I said, "HAUL YOUR SORRY ASS OUT OF MY CLASSROOM, & GO BACK TO YOUR OFFICE MANAGER, & EXPLAIN TO HIM WHY YOU SEEM TO THINK THAT "CAPTAIN MARVEL" IS MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU THAN THIS CLASS! NOW!! You are an insult to every other Realtor in this class; to me; & to the ENTIRE HUMAN RACE!"
Ah, the good old days. The late, great, Lee Ermy would have been proud.

Staying at my brother's house following family issues.
Was outside watching to make sure the dog didn't start digging again. Got bored. Started sweeping their patio. The look on my nephew's face was priceless. There's sweeping, and then there's Army sweeping.

While working at the post office I told an idiot that he was the dumbest homo sapient I ever ran across! He reported me to the EEO for calling him a queer!

Husband Russ, former Army mortar platoon leader, at steel mill. When trucks come in Secretary yells "incoming" at which time he hit the deck in, full white shirt & tie. Came up covered in bkack steel dust & they asked him if he was ok!

Shortly after retiring from the Army as a MSG, I was managing a switch facility for a large national telecom company. A veteran subordinate asked me about a project he was working on and needed advice on how to proceed. I offered some comprehensive suggestions and he responded with "What?" Without hesitation I spouted "Pay attention, I didn't stutter". After a very pregnant pause, we both burst out laughing.

Four months after transitioning from active duty to my civilian job, my manager walked into my cubical and told me that a customer had made a complaint about my tone over the phone. I walked into the managers office and he explained the sitution. I confirmed that i had gotten a bit agitated with the customer and explained my side of the story. My manager then gave me a verbal warning and as I walked out I said "F&$king Civilian HR bulls&!^" haha...

Apparently mines a touch more…. Enlisted…. Here’s the cliff note version, disagreement turned into full fist fight in the shop.. we both shook hands and were buddies after that. Boss didn’t want to fire us because we were both good mechanics.. i think he ended up quitting and getting into drugs.. I rejoined the Army. Life’s crazy, huh..?

Had a coworker knock my coffee cup into the trash. I immediately yelled: “That’s my coffee cup! You crap sack!” Howls of laughter came from the other room. I overheard: “Bernie went Chief all over Mike.”