What's your funniest "The Military Just Came Out Of Me" moment in the workplace?

While a unit commander, I had two NCO's with the same name. One was white, one was black. My first sergeant was white and while I knew he was absent from the Orderly Room, the black was asked to stand in for him. I yelled for the first sergeant and the reply was he is not here. My reply was I knoe, I want the carbon copy. The entire NCO staff fell out laughting. It was all in good humor and my Black sergeant was on the floor rolling with laughter. You see, I learned fast, the people who make the wheels roll is the NCO Staff, not the second lieutenants or first lieutenants. Commissioned officers only establish a chain of who is to be blamed for the mistakes and it always is the commissioned officers. Get along with your NCO's.

i was on board the san francisco lightship on station when a little mud hen duck showed up alongside. it was hurt in some way and we were trying to get it with a long salmon net so it would not swim under the engine room discharge and get soaked with oil. but it did manage to do it and a day or two later it was to week to swim away from our net. we took it aboard and tried to save it but to no avail. it died and so we got a board and a flag and wrapped it up in plastic with a weight and did the burial at sea thing. of course we swore it in as a honorary coast guardsman and gave it full honors circa 1962 russ

I was substitute teaching at the local VoTech High School, several years after retiring. In the middle of taking attendance, one of the students in the front row interjected, "You military?". I said, "Why do you ask?". He replied, "Your hair's short, you're standing tall, and you're pretty 'squared away'". I was flattered, and surprised that anyone even noticed, much less said anything!

I was in an office during orientation of my new job when this guy was hovering outside the door. He must have wanted to ask a question but I stopped him and said take three steps back and let me finish what I’m doing In here before you come in to ask your question. He looked at me and laughed nervously. I finished my paperwork and walked out saying how stupid people are and that I hate people. I really need to stop drinking so much coffee it’s making me irritable.

I have used my 'Clear and Direct, Absolutely NO MISUNDERSTANDING' voice on various nephews over the years to correct their lapses in proper conduct.

I was working as a deputy probation officer at a juvenile detention facility, when a fight broke out on the gym floor. SOP was to order all detainees to the floor then restrain the offenders to break up the fight. First words out of my mouth as I ran over: "Awgaf, te-ra a-meek!" Did I mention I had only been back from Iraq a year or two?

Many times I have been accused of being too Army, and I left the service in '74. When I was working at the Humane Society in adoptions I was often told that I was "too strict and stop going Army on people" Every civilian job I have had I adhered to the rules I was given only to be told that sometimes there are grey areas. I've always answered that if they don't want me to follow a rule, don't tell me it is a rule. On the other hand, I never had trouble doing taxes. Not because there are strict rules, but because there actually aren't. Most of the time in taxes there are built in grey areas or you can choose another rule.

Was in a large group of people, which already had annoyed me. I was amped up and arguing about were to go next with my spouse. As she took off through the crowd, my blood boiled and without even thinking about it, i spouted off, “MAKE A HOLE” as headed off chasing after my wife. It was actually amazing to see the sea of people just split apart and make a hole all while glaring at me like who does this ass hole think he is. Haha

As a millwright we were installing conveyor in a new wing of a hospital. There were a lot of Vietnamese and cambodian and other Asians from that part of the world working in the area we were working in. They were always getting in our way. We were pushing a large section of conveyor down a narrow hall. They would not move out of our way. I starter sayind "DIDI MAU" which meant move or get out of the way.They understood, looked at us and slowly moved.They were rude and seemed to have a sense of entitlement.I was repromanded but ignored it and continued working.

Get your Shit together