Posted on Mar 20, 2017
What was the first emotional growth experience you noticed after trauma?
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Those of you that have suffered from PTSD or currently working through PTSD, what was the first emotional growth experience you noticed after trauma? This was part of our last SAVL Group Support Meeting on SKYPE. Thanks for sharing for our veterans and service members suffering from PTSD.
Follow-on Questions:
How long did it take to see this first emotional growth?
Did others share in this experience or did you tell them about it?
Have you helped others with their post-traumatic growth? How?
Do your good experiences happen more and more often for you now?
Follow-on Questions:
How long did it take to see this first emotional growth?
Did others share in this experience or did you tell them about it?
Have you helped others with their post-traumatic growth? How?
Do your good experiences happen more and more often for you now?
PTSD
What Would You Do
Health
Experience
Victory for Veterans (VFV)
Edited >1 y ago
Posted 9 y ago
Responses: 91
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I went through, and am still going through accepting what physically happened to me. My trauma although connected to my service disability, happened 11 years after my retirement. It's always a balance of accepting and adapting to limitations without giving up on rehabilitation.
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SPC Douglas Bolton
1stSgt Eugene Harless You stumbled and fell, but you got back up, and saw what caused you to fall. You took two steps forward and one step back, but you kept going forward. You now know the correct balance, and you will do fine.
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The first time I saw growth is when I went in ptsd treatment for 30 days at Emerald Coast in Panama City FL. I was surrounded by other military that had it too it validated me and talking to each other helping each other through it I have several people from there that are still my friends it was very bonding sharing our strengths admitting our weaknesses. Understanding what PTSD is and how it happens how to manage it and learn triggers and coping mechanisms. Grounding. Mindfulness. I still struggle and it's up and down but I am growing and seeing value in my self where before I felt completely worthless and a waste of oxygen. I am able to help others I can see it and talk to them and verify them and show them they are not alone. I know what it's like to have people around and feel absolutely alone and misunderstood or just shut people out. I still have break downs but I have support and understanding also. The greatest healer is helping other with it heal, cope, and feel validated as well as cared about.
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SPC Douglas Bolton
SrA Leah Murchie You are so brave, and such a great example. I find, like you, that when I each out to help other that are hurting, is helps me as well. I feel like both of us are winning the battle together. We become a team.
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The first step is finding out that you have it... unfortunately it's not like a blood test result.
Then you need to understand how it is affecting your life.
Then you can start to learn about it.
Now finally, once you realize it's a condition.. a treatable condition..not a defect of character or omething willfully wrong with you.
Then and only then willl you seek help.
It is very much like alcoholism. You have to hit bottom... Trouble is unless you are very lucky, that bottom will be hard and rocky and you will almost surely be dragged along it struggling vainly for handholds that aren't there... or grabbing onto false solutions which drag you down even farther.
Drugs, alchohol, unhealthy relationships.
PTSD is a lot like high blood pressure that way.. a silent killer, because it is often unrecognized by the sufferer.. or those who suffer with them, until it is too late.
It is never too late.. it might feel like it. I have felt like it far too many times...to the point where I tried to make it too late. Fortunately that wasn't what fate had in the cards.
Perhaps just being here to type this in was what was in the cards.. don't fold your hand before the game is over.
Then you need to understand how it is affecting your life.
Then you can start to learn about it.
Now finally, once you realize it's a condition.. a treatable condition..not a defect of character or omething willfully wrong with you.
Then and only then willl you seek help.
It is very much like alcoholism. You have to hit bottom... Trouble is unless you are very lucky, that bottom will be hard and rocky and you will almost surely be dragged along it struggling vainly for handholds that aren't there... or grabbing onto false solutions which drag you down even farther.
Drugs, alchohol, unhealthy relationships.
PTSD is a lot like high blood pressure that way.. a silent killer, because it is often unrecognized by the sufferer.. or those who suffer with them, until it is too late.
It is never too late.. it might feel like it. I have felt like it far too many times...to the point where I tried to make it too late. Fortunately that wasn't what fate had in the cards.
Perhaps just being here to type this in was what was in the cards.. don't fold your hand before the game is over.
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SPC Douglas Bolton
PO3 John Wagner "PTSD is a lot like blood pressure, a silent killer." I never thought of it that way, my friend. I think your post here may be a huge blessing to many veterans. Thank you so much.
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COL Mikel J. Burroughs
PO3 John Wagner Your response is exactly what is needed to help others that are suffering from PTSD. It falls right in line with my follow-on question of:
Have you helped others with their post-traumatic growth? How?
Have you helped others with their post-traumatic growth? How?
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PO3 John Wagner
COL Mikel J. Burroughs - You can lead a horse to water. At the end of the day it must always be the individual that starts to claw their way out. Willingness is the key.
It isn't so simple as abstinence.
The PTSD is there all the time, it doesn't give you the advantage or choice of simply not picking up a drink. It is woven into the very fiber of ones being and recovery is never complete as far as I can tell.
Freedom from PTSD also requires constant vigilance.
In my case...and aren't all cases individual..my job requires a kind of hypervigilance. As a trucker I simply cannot, and with petroleum handling really never can, let myself "blink" as it were on the job. When a group of us are together and for some reason there is a long delay when we are doing nothing..(a refinery breakdown is a good example)
It is as if suddenly the sun breaks through and we can all just kick back and let it all hang out. I am sure it is like that in combat operations.
It would be something any psychologist would love to be able to observe.
It's kind of funny when I happen to be "standing outside myself" when I observe it.
We almost look like a bunch of air raid survivors wandering around.
I have long believed that the majority of people in professions which kind of require a level of hyper vigilance... cops, firefighters, EMS, ..petroleum drivers, Soldiers.. tend to have this makeup. Not an addiction so much as a need fulfilled.
But still as unhealthy as any addiction when unrecognized or untreated.
It isn't so simple as abstinence.
The PTSD is there all the time, it doesn't give you the advantage or choice of simply not picking up a drink. It is woven into the very fiber of ones being and recovery is never complete as far as I can tell.
Freedom from PTSD also requires constant vigilance.
In my case...and aren't all cases individual..my job requires a kind of hypervigilance. As a trucker I simply cannot, and with petroleum handling really never can, let myself "blink" as it were on the job. When a group of us are together and for some reason there is a long delay when we are doing nothing..(a refinery breakdown is a good example)
It is as if suddenly the sun breaks through and we can all just kick back and let it all hang out. I am sure it is like that in combat operations.
It would be something any psychologist would love to be able to observe.
It's kind of funny when I happen to be "standing outside myself" when I observe it.
We almost look like a bunch of air raid survivors wandering around.
I have long believed that the majority of people in professions which kind of require a level of hyper vigilance... cops, firefighters, EMS, ..petroleum drivers, Soldiers.. tend to have this makeup. Not an addiction so much as a need fulfilled.
But still as unhealthy as any addiction when unrecognized or untreated.
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When I was turned inwards, all you do is keep swirling down the toilet. So growth couldn't happen until I turned outwards. Other things to think about. Other things to enjoy or rediscover the enjoyment in stuff you used to do. The Give-A-Shit-Ometer needle moves up a few pegs. At some point, you understand much more about how you can control your feelings vs. having the world dictate them. And at some point you call yourself a Dumb A for taking 14 years to open up about it to your wife; the one person on earth you've given your soul to. It's a process that runs at different speeds. Never forget to pay attention every day to focusing outward. That helps keep the Dragon in its cage.
Oh yes, her response? "I knew something happened but knew you'd tell me when the time was right." She never spoke about it again.
Oh yes, her response? "I knew something happened but knew you'd tell me when the time was right." She never spoke about it again.
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PO3 John Wagner
14 years? You did well and are blessed with a very special wife. It took me quite awhile longer. I have a very special wife as well.. and a couple great sons. It is very hard to get over alienating a child. Adult kids are much harder to win back. They are gone and haven't seen the best you have to offer.
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I remember being seated in a centrally-located table at a restaurant. My SA was off the charts! I was freaking out (on the inside). Then, all of the sudden, I had this overwhelming thought of just letting it all go. And I did...somehow. It was an incredible feeling! Still struggle. But that was the first breakthrough.
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SPC Douglas Bolton
SSgt Zac Ruttman It is kind of like a sky diver. It is so fearful the first time, but when you land you are running back to do it again. It is always the first step that is hte hardest my friend.
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Mine was the feeling of helplessness! Then sadness because I had to give up my Radio Talk show I had on Station WSSD in Chicago, my injury really did a number on me.
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SPC Douglas Bolton
LCpl Cody Collins So sorry you had to go through what you did. It is even harder to lose what you dearly love, but I must say, my friend, that you have been a great asset here on RP sharing things like this so we all can grow and survive.
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Mikel, such a wonderful question. While I am normally coaching veterans through transition to civilian employment, their traumatic experiences seem to weave themselves into the conversation. I am always honored by their trust and ability to share so openly. There is always the question of "Out of such a traumatic experience, what strengths do you believe you built from going through it?" Next question is "How can you use that strength to help you move forward with your future?" Love the question you posted on helping others. Sometimes we don't realize that assisting others really is such a benefit to helping ourselves and can put a new perspective on our own challenges.
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First for a long time I was unwilling to seek help I thought it meant weakness. Then when I did my first attempts were unsuccessful I did not have the right people and it was not pretty. I was in a very dark place. There was no light and no hope. I was so close to becoming one of the 22 a day. I moved where I was living from to a new area and got very lucky. I found the right people I needed and that worked for me. The right VA Psychiatrists and right therapist who care very deeply about what they do. They also specialize in PTSD from combat. I say they saved my life. They save I saved my own. I have had them for the last four and half years. My entire life changed very slowly. After lots of time and effort on both my teams part and mine own. I bask in the light again daily. Its like being the old me again. Life has become worth living again. Its not an over night fix for sure. It took about 3 years for me to see my own progress. The key I found to all of this is I wanted to get better I was so tired of being so angry and hopeless. I just needed help to get back to the old me. My session went from 3 times a week to now once a month just to check in. Just know there is hope out there!! Its so easy to loose your way. Its so hard to find the path again. Just know it can happen. Please never stop trying if something does not work try something else. Find what works for you!! Find your sunlight again.
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The first step was admitting I needed help. It took me 26 years to finally reach that point. I had tried all kinds of medications, too many to list, and finally turned to the bottle to help me cope with everyday life. That obviously led to rock bottom. Divorce, unemployment, loss of my children.
The VA actually helped me and did no harm. I had/have a wonderful counselor who suffers the same as I do. He lead me through Cognitive Processing Therapy and through rehab.
9 1/2 months later, I am still clean and using the techniques he taught me to combat the PTSD. My children still won't speak to me and that weighs heavier on my mind each and every day.
Just living life on life's terms now.
The VA actually helped me and did no harm. I had/have a wonderful counselor who suffers the same as I do. He lead me through Cognitive Processing Therapy and through rehab.
9 1/2 months later, I am still clean and using the techniques he taught me to combat the PTSD. My children still won't speak to me and that weighs heavier on my mind each and every day.
Just living life on life's terms now.
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SPC Douglas Bolton
CPT Jeff Harrod You have lost the battle, but you will win the war my friend. Don't ever give up on your family. Keep trying to reconnect with them. They will somehow allow you back into their lives by your consistent seeking of their love.
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