Posted on Nov 1, 2014
SSG(P) Instructor
13.2K
42
23
7
7
0
Can we make this a forum of funny stories? Post yours here!
I have many, but will share this one to start. I served 7y 3m 23d in the Corps...got out, anD one month later joined a ARNG unit. After being in the Guard for several years, I was selected to attend BNCOC, a leadership school for newer NCOs. Well, I had all my old uniforms from the Corps, they were just a few years old, so no problem right? So, we had a service uniform inspection one day in BNCOC, and I decided I didn't want to get my brand new Army dress shoes all scuffed up and rummaged through my gear and pulled out my old patent leather dress shoes from back in the day. The looked the same and they were in impeccable shape. It was a hot Summer day in Sea Girt, NJ. All dressed up and looking sharp, we were marching to chow. What do know happened? The old dress shoes slowly came apart, the old glue dried up, and by the time We got to the chow hall, the heels had come off both shoes and all I was wearing was the uppers...it was hysterical, because I didn't want to stand out, so I didn't say anything, as I lost one heel, then the other, now I am walking on the hot ashphalt, almost high stepping.
There are many memorable moment sin military service, unfortunately many are not that funny. Lucky for me, I had brought my back-up pair.

So, please share a funny story with us. And of course try to ONE-UP the previous.
Posted in these groups: Armedforces Military service1024px-smiley.svg Humor
Avatar_feed
Responses: 18
Capt Bob Abbott
5
5
0
In 2012 I took a lovely helo ride out to a small COP in Farah province, the middle of nowhere. I went there to find some laptops before the unit RIP'ed out. I arrived, found the laptops and updated the software...done in about three hours. "Ready for the flight out!" I told the company commander. Flight ops then went red for the week with bad duststorms, oh yay, I was stuck on this postage stamp of a COP with one change of clothes in my ruck.

They weren't prepped for my team to stay long-term, so they inflated a tent and put us in it. You know the tents that have the inflatable ribs? One of those. Only after they put the cots and us in there, they forgot to stake the tent down. A duststorm kicked up in the middle of the night throwing the tent all over the place, which caused the inflatable ribs to slowly deflate. About 2 in the morning, with the wind howling outside, a particularly bad gust picked up the tent entirely and slammed it back on the ground. I woke up while airborne and when we hit the ground I sat straight up in my cot. At that point the half deflated roof swung down and smacked me right in the face. By the time I got my light on all of the dust that was on the floor of the tent was now suspended about four feet in the air. We couldn't see anything, couldn't hear over the howling wind. I yelled, "I'm getting the f out of here!" threw on my shoes and my team and I ran out the door.

We ran into the TOC, hearing the faint sound of explosions on the other side of base. It was obvious, we were under attack. In the TOC there was twice the amount of people there, which confirmed there was an assault ongoing. We ran int he door and I yelled, "What do you need us to do!?!" Everyone turned and stared. I stood there, in shorts and a t-shirt, my nose bleeding, and covered in dust, looking like a madman. The company commander came over and kindly said, "sir, there's no attack. It's a dust storm and the Germans on the other side just did a controlled det."

We slept in the chow hall for the rest of the week.
(5)
Comment
(0)
SSG(P) Instructor
SSG(P) (Join to see)
>1 y
Effin' dust storms, best time to attack.
(0)
Reply
(0)
Avatar_small
Sgt Michael Furphy
5
5
0
Our Lt. told me to take out a patrol from zero dark thirty until 0400. He told me to be sure to wake him before we set out. I got my squad ready and we were all standing over the sleeping Lt. I knelt down and shook him and said, "sir, we're going on patrol now." He rolled over, opened up his eyes and looked at me for a second, then said in the most theatrical voice you can imagine, "Sgt. Furphy, you don't have magical powers, only I have magical powers, I'll turn you into a toooaaaad." I looked up at my squad and they were dancing around trying to hold in their laughter. I had to jump up real quick and run off I was laughing so hard. The next day, everytime our Lt. was around, someone would say, "I'll turn you into a toooaaaad." He never knew what we were talking about and all I can wonder is WTH was he dreaming.
(5)
Comment
(0)
Avatar_small
SSgt Carpenter
5
5
0
Was sleeping under a dumptruck after completing a landnav course. I had a couple guys around and figured one of them would wake me up if anybody important came by. Next thing I know, I hear a voice, "Afternoon 1SG." I come boiling out from under the truck nearly hitting my head on the front axle, just to see that the 1SG is standing about one pace in front of me. I come to my feet at parade rest, and say "Afternoon 1SG." He busts out laughing so hard his whole body shakes, says "You're fine soldier" and walks away.
(5)
Comment
(0)
Avatar_small

Join nearly 2 million former and current members of the US military, just like you.

close
Seg?add=7750261&t=2