Posted on Jan 12, 2021
What was your experience after joining as an older enlistee? How did you handle being told that you were too old to enlist?
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Hello Rallypoint, it has been a long while since I have been on here, but a situation that I had just the other day has been bothering me quite a bit.
A bit about me for those who don't know, I'm finishing up my Bachelor's degree (which I will complete this year) and plan to enlist within a year after that time. After I have been discharged from the military is when me and my fiancee plan to start our career and solidify everything. I am quite a bit on the older side - luckily still a few years below the max enlistment age for the branch that I am going into and the job I want (I'm 32). Me enlisting was always there in the back of my mind for a while now and a few certain factors prevented me from going forth with the decision previously right out of high school. It has been quite a long while since that day I even stepped into the recruiter's office, but after a vet friend of mine told me that many who had even a slight desire to enlist but didn't go through with it eventually felt a good amount of regret for the rest of their life, he told me that if I had any inkling about and was willing to put in the time that I should go forth with it. That was what propelled me finally, that and the factor that prevented me previously from enlisting was no longer there (it was not medical, just family issues that are no longer a problem any more).
With that said, my folks caught wind of the idea from a family friend playing gossip. My old man (former infantryman himself) wasn't against it but was pretty demeaning about it, said I was too old and that I would fail at it miserably. My old man said something along the lines like "Jake, I was in the Army, I know what kind of people make it and what kind don't, and I'm gonna tell you right now, you wouldn't make it past boot camp." and partnered with "I know what you're thinking, I know why you're enlisting, it's cause you just wanna be some damn 'Captain American' or some crap, that's it ain't it? Pfft, you know what they're gonna do, the drills are gonna look at you and laugh at how old you are. Jake, you had a chance long ago, but you missed it, it's done, just focus on your career, that's all." he just left it at that. That was about a few months back.
It wasn't until just the other day that I sat down with my mom for lunch at their place that she told me how she felt. Let me first say that my mom is a piece work, I'll be the first one to admit that. She's not racist or anything, but she does have some sense of elitism/classism with the way she thinks, which I can't stand at times, regardless she's still my mom (we just leave the yelling and arguing on holiday get togethers). When we sat there, we were talking and she bought my future enlistment up as quick quip. I questioned why she bought it up to which she told me she considered it an "unwise" decision.
When I asked her why she thought that, she simply stated "Well look at how old you are now, dear, you're in your 30's" to which I replied "Yeah, and?" she then replied with "Do the math, you'll be well into at least 37 or 38 when you get out, do you really want to start your career when you're 38? Seriously dear, do you honestly believe anybody wants to deal with a 38 year old new guy on the job who's got no experience in your field? Let that sink in for a bit, you'd be a rookie at your job AT 38! You'd be what they consider 'a walking joke' cursing your own poor decision making.". This hit me hard a bit, but I simply stated in retort "I may be a bit old, but all those years were spent doing something." and she quipped on about "Ugh! Nothing but an assortment of retail gigs and blue-collared odd jobs - what was the longest you held a job again? four, five years? They speak nothing well of you nor do anything for your resume, stop thinking like a child! If you had some time as bank manager or real estate agent, perhaps this wouldn't be so sad, but even then I think you would be making an unwise mistake. It'd be a step down.". That all eventually led to a bit of an argument in which I finished with "It's nice being able to freely think like that when you have others keeping you safe at night, right?" followed with a "Don't patronize your mother just because you want to go on a wild goose chase due to a mid-life crisis!". We still walked away amicably (Again...she's my mom...that's all I can say).
Sorry for ranting, but it's just, I'm not gonna lie, it got to me a bit. I've always thought about enlisting for a term in the military because...well, I guess it was always cause I was that kid that played "soldier", I was always reading about what the newest rifle, gadget, or strategy that some officer came up with, was always playing airsoft and out flanking the other players with my friends back in high school. Until a family issue that kind of anchored me down for quite a while came up, but again, that issue has passed a couple years back and a vet friend of mine inspired me to rethink my future enlistment. Since I matured a bit, my new reasons now (along with my original one) would be because I want to know what my veteran friends went through and understand the thing that only vets understand between each other. To be part of a community that is less than 10% of society, and of course, to be able to hold my head up high and say "yeah, I did do something". I guess the bottomline is that I mostly wanna enlist due to service and pride of having earned such a title. Benefits and all are merely the cherry on the top for me.
Apologies for ranting and raving for so long, but what my folks - and sadly some of my friends and extended family as well - said are all starting to just bog me down and making me second guess everything. To be honest, I guess I'm just wondering if any of you guys went through this? Any vets who went in a bit late on here...or sadly in my case, quite a bit late? My fiancee is annoyed with the idea of starting our career later, but wholly believes in and supports me going after what I want, she's onboard with it and already jokes about being a "dependa-potamus" with all the benefits (and no, she is quite fit and well-shaped, thank you).
Anyways, hope you guys are all doing well.
A bit about me for those who don't know, I'm finishing up my Bachelor's degree (which I will complete this year) and plan to enlist within a year after that time. After I have been discharged from the military is when me and my fiancee plan to start our career and solidify everything. I am quite a bit on the older side - luckily still a few years below the max enlistment age for the branch that I am going into and the job I want (I'm 32). Me enlisting was always there in the back of my mind for a while now and a few certain factors prevented me from going forth with the decision previously right out of high school. It has been quite a long while since that day I even stepped into the recruiter's office, but after a vet friend of mine told me that many who had even a slight desire to enlist but didn't go through with it eventually felt a good amount of regret for the rest of their life, he told me that if I had any inkling about and was willing to put in the time that I should go forth with it. That was what propelled me finally, that and the factor that prevented me previously from enlisting was no longer there (it was not medical, just family issues that are no longer a problem any more).
With that said, my folks caught wind of the idea from a family friend playing gossip. My old man (former infantryman himself) wasn't against it but was pretty demeaning about it, said I was too old and that I would fail at it miserably. My old man said something along the lines like "Jake, I was in the Army, I know what kind of people make it and what kind don't, and I'm gonna tell you right now, you wouldn't make it past boot camp." and partnered with "I know what you're thinking, I know why you're enlisting, it's cause you just wanna be some damn 'Captain American' or some crap, that's it ain't it? Pfft, you know what they're gonna do, the drills are gonna look at you and laugh at how old you are. Jake, you had a chance long ago, but you missed it, it's done, just focus on your career, that's all." he just left it at that. That was about a few months back.
It wasn't until just the other day that I sat down with my mom for lunch at their place that she told me how she felt. Let me first say that my mom is a piece work, I'll be the first one to admit that. She's not racist or anything, but she does have some sense of elitism/classism with the way she thinks, which I can't stand at times, regardless she's still my mom (we just leave the yelling and arguing on holiday get togethers). When we sat there, we were talking and she bought my future enlistment up as quick quip. I questioned why she bought it up to which she told me she considered it an "unwise" decision.
When I asked her why she thought that, she simply stated "Well look at how old you are now, dear, you're in your 30's" to which I replied "Yeah, and?" she then replied with "Do the math, you'll be well into at least 37 or 38 when you get out, do you really want to start your career when you're 38? Seriously dear, do you honestly believe anybody wants to deal with a 38 year old new guy on the job who's got no experience in your field? Let that sink in for a bit, you'd be a rookie at your job AT 38! You'd be what they consider 'a walking joke' cursing your own poor decision making.". This hit me hard a bit, but I simply stated in retort "I may be a bit old, but all those years were spent doing something." and she quipped on about "Ugh! Nothing but an assortment of retail gigs and blue-collared odd jobs - what was the longest you held a job again? four, five years? They speak nothing well of you nor do anything for your resume, stop thinking like a child! If you had some time as bank manager or real estate agent, perhaps this wouldn't be so sad, but even then I think you would be making an unwise mistake. It'd be a step down.". That all eventually led to a bit of an argument in which I finished with "It's nice being able to freely think like that when you have others keeping you safe at night, right?" followed with a "Don't patronize your mother just because you want to go on a wild goose chase due to a mid-life crisis!". We still walked away amicably (Again...she's my mom...that's all I can say).
Sorry for ranting, but it's just, I'm not gonna lie, it got to me a bit. I've always thought about enlisting for a term in the military because...well, I guess it was always cause I was that kid that played "soldier", I was always reading about what the newest rifle, gadget, or strategy that some officer came up with, was always playing airsoft and out flanking the other players with my friends back in high school. Until a family issue that kind of anchored me down for quite a while came up, but again, that issue has passed a couple years back and a vet friend of mine inspired me to rethink my future enlistment. Since I matured a bit, my new reasons now (along with my original one) would be because I want to know what my veteran friends went through and understand the thing that only vets understand between each other. To be part of a community that is less than 10% of society, and of course, to be able to hold my head up high and say "yeah, I did do something". I guess the bottomline is that I mostly wanna enlist due to service and pride of having earned such a title. Benefits and all are merely the cherry on the top for me.
Apologies for ranting and raving for so long, but what my folks - and sadly some of my friends and extended family as well - said are all starting to just bog me down and making me second guess everything. To be honest, I guess I'm just wondering if any of you guys went through this? Any vets who went in a bit late on here...or sadly in my case, quite a bit late? My fiancee is annoyed with the idea of starting our career later, but wholly believes in and supports me going after what I want, she's onboard with it and already jokes about being a "dependa-potamus" with all the benefits (and no, she is quite fit and well-shaped, thank you).
Anyways, hope you guys are all doing well.
Age
Recruit
Posted 4 y ago
Responses: 15
5
5
0
Ok I'm not reading all that but got the gist.
Your parents are dumb. Basic really doesn't sound that hard anymore. I joined at 22. Most of my platoon was 18, 19. A few other college grads. We had a former Marine who was 41 I think (this was 2004 when max age was raised). He was the high male PT scorer. And the drills didn't mock him.
You do you. Forget what others say. I can't speak on basic now but I know it's changed a lot in my 16 years.
Your parents are dumb. Basic really doesn't sound that hard anymore. I joined at 22. Most of my platoon was 18, 19. A few other college grads. We had a former Marine who was 41 I think (this was 2004 when max age was raised). He was the high male PT scorer. And the drills didn't mock him.
You do you. Forget what others say. I can't speak on basic now but I know it's changed a lot in my 16 years.
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"I guess the bottomline is that I mostly wanna enlist due to service and pride of having earned such a title. Benefits and all are merely the cherry on the top for me. After I have been discharged from the military is when me and my fiancee plan to start our career and solidify everything." Jake, joining for the benefits or joining to earn a title are not good reasons to join the military. You are holding off on starting a career until after your military discharge. When you complete your degree, why not start a career instead of the odd jobs that you have held to date?
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We had a recruit in our platoon that had been in the Army two years (Draftee) got out and joined Marines. He was twenty-six and out of shape but determined to make it and earn the title. He did because he wanted to and was determined. You have to decide if it is really what you want. If it is, go for it. The only really stopping you is you.
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