When do you give up on a Soldier?

"Mission first. Soldiers always." You went above and beyond to accommodate. I get trying to take care of her "needs' but you can't let that impact your mission. As an NCO she should know this. If she doesn't understand how the military works, she may be in need of remedial training and a "lay down the law" counseling session. Maybe she needs to study the Warrior Ethos and the NCO Creed a little.

I am of the opinion that we don't give up on soldiers, but there comes a day when you have to. How much energy are you expending on someone? Is this person doing what she should be doing at her level? If not start the documentation, she may need to be administratively reduced for failure to perform at her grade. Soldiers get chaptered for all sorts of things, did we give up on them or did they take it upon themselves to not do the right thing? Some soldiers make dumb decisions, I know I did many years ago. If a soldier chooses to smoke dope, and they already know the consequences, then sorry I am not wasting a ton of effort on you. You knew it before you picked it up. Overweight soldier who is otherwise good to go, we put effort in. If their is improvement we keep driving, but if they show no improvement or get worse what then?

I watched every Sunday Afternoon my NG Unit commander would spend hours counseling soldiers for Weight control, and PT failure. The rest of the unit would have to wait to be released till this was done. I started getting on both the 1SG and Commander to let those who were getting it done go home on time, and let those who didn't meet the standard to stay for their "paperwork." There were multiple reasons for me doing this. In the Guard people can live hundreds of miles from where they drill. I have driven over 700 miles to a unit, and know people who have gone farther than that. Is it right to keep them? IMHO no, safety dictates we get them out the door as soon as possible.

I think we get to wrapped around the axle about being perfect. I recall back in the 1980's I was told the Russians expected a 5% fatality rate for major Chemical Warfare exercises, and that the Russian Army used watered down live agents. Is this true? I have never found a Russian Military Snopes.com website to verify it. Think about it if it was true. Jacked up soldiers would either go away, or get their stuff straight real fast. Sun Tzu & Frederick the Great were known to employ tactics that now a days we would be terrified to use. Imagine the reaction of soldiers if their Company Commander was beheaded for failing to follow orders?

To much has been put into taking care of soldiers that our mission of defending the nation becomes compromised IMHO. If Snuffy doesn't bring his field jacket, and you give him yours, what did you just do? You reinforced to all the Snuffy's that someone will give you something when they forget. If Snuffy froze his tail section off, bet Snuffy would not do that again. We do entirely too much hand holding and not enough soldier development.

How many of us had working parents who could not take a day off for their spouses medical appointments? What is that about? is that good leadership, or being a sucker too afraid of complaints? I submit you are too afraid to tell your soldier no.

Okay I will get off my soap box

You can shift your efforts to another once she is in the brig, if this continues. Remind her that your job and responsibility IS mission over men in the meanwhile.

Soldiers (ALL RANKS emphasized) come and go. The Army always goes rolling along. Don’t give up on the process. The ALRM and basic Soldier care. Deep down, you never give up. That individual gives up on the purpose for the Army and their ability to be successful in it. Document your efforts and ensure it reflects in all evaluations. Do your part in ensuring that person never gets promoted, maybe even chaptered. Zero tolerance within realm of human reality. I once gave a 5/5 to an NCO. I told that individual they’d be a great Civilian and they were a good person. Just not fit to lead our nations sons and daughters in combat!

Take a step back from the situation and try to see it from the Soldier’s point of view. Take an objective look at the whole picture, as if you had no stake in the game.

Afterwards, ensure your counseling requirements are up to date. Maybe it’s time to revisit the initial counseling to address standards or expectations. Have a REAL counseling session with the Soldier, one that is thought out and on the calendar—no shooting from the hip. Seek advice from the 1SG, too.

Once this is complete, ensure you are documenting any incidents that fall outside the boundaries of your expectations. Make sure your monthly counseling gets done, addressing work performance both good and bad. Seek to understand and emphasize with her and continually follow up. This is building the team, but also performing due diligence.

Document, document, document—regardless of the expected outcome. At some point certain troops are not salvageable, but the legal standard for such chapters are higher than you might think.

Best of luck, LT.