Posted on Dec 22, 2013

When do you go to a first-name basis with people?

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Let me posit two caveats:1. I ALWAYS address officers (whether commissioned or Warrant) as "Sir", "Ma'am" or by their rank2. I always publicly addressed NCOs by their rank.  In private conversations, it may be another story

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Posted 12 y ago

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SFC (Join to see)

Edited 12 y ago

Posted 12 y ago

Never, half of the issues that I deal with in the military have to do with a lack of professionalism across all ranks. You serve all day, everyday so just follow the rules, you have to shave everyday and you have to keep your hair cut, why in the hell would you be so unprofessional as to refer to any service member by any thing other than their rank and name. They earned the rank and their parents gave them that name so respect it. It does not matter that you out rank them, in fact that is one of the manifestations of really piss poor leaders, whenever I hear some Officer referring to his or her subordinates or peers by their first name I know right then and there that one is a turd and hopefully won't be around for long.

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SPC (Join to see)

12 y

Thank you for posting SFC Stimpson, this made me chuckle

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SSG (Join to see)

Posted 12 y ago

I go both ways if i had to choose, either all in or not at all. I am Aviation and considering the other major Branches in the Army, we are pretty relaxed and i do mean relaxed, we talk directly with our C.O even as junior Soldiers and mostly there are not any issues, but when you allow officers to do it and not the backbone then sets clear lines of segregation amongst the ranks. I know there is in a professional and duty sense but if we allow the people who set the standard to do it, how can we enforce a different by not allowing the enlisted to do it? I have seen some enlisted do it dont get me wrong, peer to peer or peer to subordinate, i think it builds trust, rapport and confidence amongst these people. thats the pro side. The con side is that Soldiers who don't know when to separate the two cuse issues and then when it comes to possible legal action for something a Soldier has done, its harder to justify if those lines are not clearly set, I have had to chapter eight Soldiers out of the Army and half of them where for misconduct or other negative actions, one of the first questions they always asked me is do i associate with them outside of work, do we hang out, etc etc not really a big deal but it would be really easy for a Soldier to twist this into something it is not to benefit his/her needs. Not to mention if you call one SOldier by his/her first name and not another in the same Company or Platoon. Just does not sound like a good idea at all unless we are all on board. Personal time out of work in the local area by all means act like a person and have friends, use first names just not at work.

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SSG Ralph Watkins

Posted 12 y ago

While in Iraq we got matched up with Special Ops people for a long-term mission & the rank system went out the window. We used first names, nick-names, or callsigns even. With them, mission leaders weren't always the highest ranking. To reduce confusion, it was just best to know who was in charge by name. As an E-6, I got into a disagreement with the one in overall charge of a particular job the one day & I started getting nasty with him. He then told me that he was an 0-3, I apologized using his first name & we moved on. I used to go to the one JOC & everybody was first name & this stocky Force Recon guy used to call me by my callsign, I called him by his first name. I later found out he was a Major. The respect was there due to the job & that's what counted.

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SSG (Join to see)

Posted 12 y ago

CSM, for the 16 years I was in the Military the ONLY time did I ever use first name(s) were OFF duty to my peers only. During Duty Hours, it was by rank, last name, sir or ma’am, and not by their first name. To this day it still irks me sideways when I hear ALL ranks of Officers “Hi Bob”. What ever happen to Customs and Courtesies (FM 7-21.13, CH 5)? Did we as an NCO Corps keep this one JUST to teach, train and mentor our Soldiers correctly and not share with others? No disrespect to the Officers or Warrants, but RHIP should not and does not apply here. The Standard was set, and by having lower enlisted Soldiers hear Officers use their first names during the Duty Hours, now sets a new Standard. Why? The Soldiers think it’s right due to the fact an/the Officer(s) are doing it. Last, I have approached many Officers and have asked them not to use first names due to what I‘ve listed. Here again, the rank has it’s privileges was dropped and I was given a thank you for the concern.

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TSgt Phillip L.

Posted 12 y ago

Seldom in uniform. Never in mixed company. Until you've got your military bearing dialed in, and know where the line is and when it moves, stick with formal rank and last name. Better to start there.

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SPC (Join to see)

12 y

Honestly I have never heard an Air Force person call anyone by their rank. They call everyone sir or ma'am. I work with the Air Force on a daily basis and was confused at this at first. Made it easier for me though because I didn't have to learn their ranks but in the end I felt it was my duty to learn their ranks and call them by that. When I started to do that they corrected me and told me to call them sir or ma'am. So the Air Force confuses me on this topic.

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SSG(P) (Join to see)

Posted 12 y ago

SGM from my experience I have a few buddies that we call each other by first names but that is when we are off work when we are at work it is all proper rank and last name. That is the only way to address each other if you want to hold the standards of the Army. Calling each other by first names is not an enlisted thing that is an officer thing I see young soldiers doing it today and I correct them all the time tell them this is a place of work not back on the block hanging with their boys if they want to call each other by first names doing on their own time.

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SFC (Join to see)

Posted 12 y ago

CSM I have always addressed my soldiers, my peers and my subordinates with their Rank and last name. I believe we need to keep that in a working environment because we know as leaders that everyone is watching. But it is different for me outside work I use first name with my peers

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PO2 Tristrem McGinnity

Posted 12 y ago

In theater to preserve OpSec or on liberty. Never call an Officer by first name. I am a Civ now and still find myself calling old friends Sir, Skipper,Cdr etc.

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SCPO Robert Meeler

Posted 12 y ago

In the field with E6 and above no junior troops present.

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1SG Michael Blount

12 y

Agreed, SCPO. Actually, I use a two-grade difference, but yah, we're in the same area code

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1SG (Join to see)

Posted 12 y ago

CSM Blount,

I personally don't like the first name basis thing at all. But I will add before I was even in the Army all my friends called me by my last name. I will say I have been in a few situations where first name basis may not be the wrong answer. My first duty station was Korea and my first weekend the shop NCO took me and another private out to the town to show us around. You know places to go; places to definitely not go. He told us to call him by his first name. That has always stuck with me and he is not the first person that has wanted it that way out in the civilian world.

When I am in uniform though I don't want to hear it and I don't like to hear other people do it. I have noticed a trend amongst some of the younger Soldiers. They do it in the barracks and when they go out to drink together and then they come to work yelling first names up and down the hall. Its a peeve of mine.

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1SG Michael Blount

12 y

Bottom line is: situation dictates. And one had BETTER be sure it's the right call before going to the first name thing. It's funny, I know some CSMs as I was coming up, and their first name was then and is now "CSM", even though I am now one. Some things just stick.

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When do you go to a first-name basis with people?

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