While on the firing line at the range, what is the most off the wall excuse a Private has made up because they can't shoot?

"there is a hole in the target! I swear I'm hitting it!" (at the end of the day we found a grapefruit size hole and had very little surface left on the 100m target due to poor range maintenance) soldier was right.

I'm ashamed to admit that I was a bad PVT. I saw the ones who qualified quickly were sent away for some shite detail. I enjoyed the range so extended my time there by shooting targets one lane over. Until the instructor came to ernistly help me. I exclaimed oh this is the lane you wanted me to shoot in? I didn't have a problem qualifying I had a problem wanting to leave the range. I was a bad PVT and I apologize for my bad behavior.

A sgt told me the targets went dropping because his rounds had to have going through previous bullets holes, and he knew that he hit every target with head shots. His score was 2 out of 40... unacceptable

As a Drill Instructor in the Marine Corps no excuse at all. I don't know about the Army Drill Segeants, all Marine Hats are also Primary Marksmanship Instuctors. In the day we had iron sights and fired from 200, 300, and the 500 yard line. With optics today their should be no excuse not to qual. Most important is grass week, when your PMI and Hats teach the positions of shooting offhand (standing), kneeling, sitting, and prone. Basic marksmanship principles whether on the range or in combat, depends upon the application of these basic principles, sighting and aiming, position, wind effects, and trigger control. I can go on and on about shooting ...

You know I understand where people are coming off about helping out soldiers and all but some things a NCO cant do nothing about. I had a 26 year old private come crying to me when it was time to go night fire because he was scared of the dark. I made him go out and he cried and cried that it was to dark, was never able to get him to shoot so I do not know how he got thru basic. needless to say he was out of the army not long after that.

must be shooting blanks. And i mean it, she truely thought for a brief moment that someone loaded her 3 round mags up with blanks - because she didnt even hit the zeroing paper target!

in the end, we discovered she was left eye dominant - not right eye.

It was too cold.
I am a pacifist anyway

I was a safety on an M9 range in Korea and one of my last firers was a Korean soldier (KATUSA). It was winter and temperatures were in the single digits without windchill. I notice the Soldier shaking and asked if he was cold to which he replied, "I am! But I'm more nervous!" I simply told him to relax, told a couple jokes and tried to get him comfortable. When it came time for the familiarization he pointed his weapon at the targets shaking like it was going out of style. I put a hand on his shoulder and told him again to relax and it would be okay. He fired all ten rounds in about 5 seconds and hit only one target. When i asked what he was doing he said, "I couldn't see the targets." I asked why not and just after I got out the last letter of my question I realized that he still had his eyes closed. Not an asian joke, He couldn't have his eyelids clasped together more tightly.

I didn't realize I was hitting the target to my left! mind you the IT on the left was a sharp shooter!

A navy cook said she did not know she had to touch a weapon because she signed up to cook. She received an honorable discharge smh