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I divorced her because she spent more than I earned, she was a drunk and did not take care of the children, and she got a DUI on post. She was also abusive to me. The best advice I got was from the post CSM who said sometimes you need to get rid of the wife to have a career.
I can share in the broken love and dreams, the fear, and the pain I compartmentalized at best.
I can share in the broken love and dreams, the fear, and the pain I compartmentalized at best.
Divorce
Family
Edited >1 y ago
Posted >1 y ago
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Combo factor-married young and dumb and then I deployed. The military is not at fault for my divorce though. It would have ended eventually, but the stress accelerated the process, for which I am thankful. I was more careful the next time I married and have been in a great relationship for over 10 years now.
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She wanted boyfriends while I was deployed and I didn't think that was right.
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(Looks around) Soooooo no women gonna post? I actually like this topic. Guess Ill go first. I divorced because I married for all the wrong reasons. It wasn't for love (we eventually grew to love one another). I was pregnant. Lesson learned. We tried. We failed. Life went on, but we tried for the child's sake. Simple as that.
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CPT Joseph K Murdock
We all like to think we can change the course of destiny when destiny is not ours to change.
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PO3 Sandra Gomke
I'll go! Met in the Navy, married in the Navy, left the Navy. Figured out after 8 years that I was not as important to him as a new house, new truck, new TV. As I had to ask to spend $20 but he could buy what he wanted without asking me. 5 years later I'd had enough. No amount of talking (and I do mean talking, not fighting) was helping. So I called it quits. Ends up he wasn't upset that he'd lost me. Just embarrassed because his wife left him. I don't regret the marriage. I got a GREAT son out of it.
Now I've got a Marine who is my partner, my pal, my love. We've been together 17 years now and he still makes me feel wanted. :)
Now I've got a Marine who is my partner, my pal, my love. We've been together 17 years now and he still makes me feel wanted. :)
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My ex husband could just not keep it in his pants. We were dual military, and although we never experienced a deployment together, he cheated every second he could. I was young and stupid at the time and I honestly thought he was joking when I asked him what his hobbies were and his answer was "women". My family (mom and dad family) hated him so much they paid for my divorce. Happy to say that I was able to move on from it and I have been with my soulmate and love of my life for 11 years with 2 children together
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LTJG Robert M.
CPT Joseph K Murdock - All good, that was 30 years ago. Married now to wonderful woman for 29 years this July.
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Went to Afghanistan and things fell apart 3 months in to the tour. Realized the "best friend" she was texting all times of the day and night was more than that. She didn't want to fix things so mutual agreed divorce. I kept everything, her family resented her, I'm happier now. Military life wasn't for her and I deserve someone better.
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Tyra Lynne Wahl
That really sucks.... not all women are made to be as independent yet grounded as a military wife needs to be.
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CPT (Join to see)
The biggest slap was she married him a month after divorce finalized.
You are absolutely right and this experience has definitely helped shape what I look for in a woman in the future. I see it as an experience God planned for me to make me a better person and put someone better in my life. It's all about perspective!
You are absolutely right and this experience has definitely helped shape what I look for in a woman in the future. I see it as an experience God planned for me to make me a better person and put someone better in my life. It's all about perspective!
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Upfront I mean absolutely no disrespect to anybody they posted nor my looking down on anyone for choices made conditions that existed
I saw the question pop up in my feed and thought wow that could actually be a really helpful thread to those younger soldiers not yet married
Then I read the responses and realized the question wasn't really answered or it was but like saying why did you have an ND and the answer is I got shot in the head and bled a lot
I was thinking another way to answer the question as asked would be what went wrong how did you go from meeting and Mehring the spouse that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with to all the other negative things you all posted about
I ask this truly from the position of ignorance
I've never been divorced I've been married 24 years and our biggest argument and fight was the year I bought a bunch of parts for one of my motorcycles just before Christmas and she was mad at me because I didn't leave her anything to get me for Christmas
And that followed me buying a bunch of tools just before my birthday a few months before
If those with experience could articulate how they went from the love of your life to the person you hate
It might provide insight to those in a new beginning or even established relationship
I saw the question pop up in my feed and thought wow that could actually be a really helpful thread to those younger soldiers not yet married
Then I read the responses and realized the question wasn't really answered or it was but like saying why did you have an ND and the answer is I got shot in the head and bled a lot
I was thinking another way to answer the question as asked would be what went wrong how did you go from meeting and Mehring the spouse that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with to all the other negative things you all posted about
I ask this truly from the position of ignorance
I've never been divorced I've been married 24 years and our biggest argument and fight was the year I bought a bunch of parts for one of my motorcycles just before Christmas and she was mad at me because I didn't leave her anything to get me for Christmas
And that followed me buying a bunch of tools just before my birthday a few months before
If those with experience could articulate how they went from the love of your life to the person you hate
It might provide insight to those in a new beginning or even established relationship
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SGM Erik Marquez
MSG Christopher Chouinard - That's not to say we have not had disagreements, or been unhappy with each other for a "thing" .... but those are short lived and not what i consider an argument..where you both are mad and what it ends up as is not even related to what started it.
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SGT Bryon Sergent
Alright then SGM, here goes. I was young and not going anywhere in my life after getting out of the ARMY. I hooked up with a girl in my home town after getting out of the Army. I was working for a security company at the time. Making enough to survive for one person. After hooking up, 2 months later she said that she was pregnant. Being from a small country town in KY and being raised in a Christian home I done the right thing and got married to the woman. I didn't know it but from about the third week on being married she was cheating on me and was into smoking pot and doing pills! knew there was something just couldn't put a finger on it. After 4 months of marriage she told me that there was a possibility that My son wasn't mine. 12 years later and a lot of money wasted, time and stressing out my post happened. After divorcing her the "friends" that knew told me and said "that they didn't want to get involved. Found out in a blood test that my son wasn't mine.
That all led to me finding a woman that I fell in Love with. We have been married for 12 yrs. Separated once. We have 2 deployments together. She has 3 children. One special needs 18 yo daughter that lives with her ex, a 22 year old son and a 14 year old daughter that lives with us. Love them all.
Moral of the story is SEX is not LOVE. don't just jump into a marriage because you THINK you you know her because you knew each other in high school. DON"T give her a GENERAL POWER OF ATTORNEY, and sure as hell don't give her control of the bank account! you have yours and she has hers and then a joint account for bills that you both add to. That is what I have learned.
That all led to me finding a woman that I fell in Love with. We have been married for 12 yrs. Separated once. We have 2 deployments together. She has 3 children. One special needs 18 yo daughter that lives with her ex, a 22 year old son and a 14 year old daughter that lives with us. Love them all.
Moral of the story is SEX is not LOVE. don't just jump into a marriage because you THINK you you know her because you knew each other in high school. DON"T give her a GENERAL POWER OF ATTORNEY, and sure as hell don't give her control of the bank account! you have yours and she has hers and then a joint account for bills that you both add to. That is what I have learned.
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CPT Joseph K Murdock
It's tough going from someone you love and hate, and finding that morning when you could take no pain anymore. To survive meant to be alone until someone else graces the life.
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SN Greg Wright
CPT Joseph K Murdock - If I had to do it again, I would have stayed for Christmas for the kids. But I was so angry at he time that I just got in the van and drove away.
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SFC (Join to see)
I had more fun drinking, partying, hanging out with a local motorcycle club... I was a complete idiot. That was a long time ago. I'm now married to another SFC and she keeps me grounded.
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