Posted on May 18, 2014
Why does the Army discriminate against single soldiers?
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First let me say I am biased in my opinion since I am a single soldier. The Army stacks the deck against single soldiers, in a variety of ways. There are standards that single soldiers are forced to obey that married soldiers are not. Purely just because of their marriage.
Housing is my personal biggest area of concern being a single soldier. I am a 27 yr old college graduate. I get the same "rights" in my living quarters that a single 17/18 yr old straight out of high-school would get. If that same soldier is married, they get considerably more freedom, pay, and budget control than I do.
I as a single soldier get no say in where I live. At my current duty station the BAH for my rank and dependent status (Single, E-4) would be $1,068. So I essentially pay $1,068 dollars a month to live in the barracks. The barracks I live in have two separate bedrooms, with a common kitchen and bathroom area. Since there are two soldiers in each little barracks apartment, we collectively pay $2,136 a month for this set up. That is FAR more then what a similar apartment style would cost in the surrounding communities. If single soldiers were allowed to have BAH and live where they choose we could potentially save several hundred dollars a month by controlling our living expenses. That's not including the approximately $300 a month we are forced to pay for the DFACs.
There is also the issue of furniture in the barracks. Again we have no say, we get whatever the Army already has in the room. Personally I would love to have an actual nice mattress, instead of these cheap plastic blue ones.
Barracks inspections. I can't stand barracks inspections. The inspections are completely up to the person doing them and what they "think" the standard should be. One inspection your could be fine, the next one your getting lectured about how to make a bed. Last summer I had to write a 2 page paper for an LT about personal standards in the barracks. All because my bed didn't have hospital corners. (That morning when I get up I tossed my blanket off to the right of me, where it was just sorta crunched up against the wall running the length of my bed.) If I want to know what I am allowed to have and not have in my room, I have to read three different policy letters to find out. Division could allow something, Brigade could say no, and then Battalion have nothing about it at all. I get that lower commands are allowed to restrict privileges as they see fit. I'm just saying it's cumbersome to have to read three different levels policy to find out what is what.
It annoys me that I have to have periodic inspections(currently every morning before PT for my company) while married soldiers receive no inspections just because they are married. I get that they have a family, I just don't see why that should stop a squad leader from making a planned, announced, and visual walk-through of the house of the married soldier. Keeping the same standard of living as a single soldier should be part of the military life.
Meal Deductions. I don't think the DFACs are worth the $300 a month I have to pay. I hate having to "play" the "I am a Meal Card Holder" card to get lunch sometimes during work. It's usually followed by a married soldier saying "I'm working thru lunch, you don't see me bitching about wanting to leave for food". True. However when we miss our lunch it's gone. The money we paid is gone rather we ate that meal or not. Married people if they bring their lunch it'll still be there later. If they eat out, then well that's just money they didn't spend that day. They can use it tomorrow to get twice as much for lunch or eat somewhere more expensive depending on their budget.
We get no say in what sounds good for dinner. It's whatever the DFAC has. Sometimes that means either fried or grilled chicken. If they run out of one thing, it'll be whatever they have left. It's not right. It leaves married people with control over their diet and single soldiers with whatever the Army needed to clean out of the fridge.
The above is just Big Army things, the discrimination continues all the way down to the company level. At my company single soldiers who live in the barracks are not allowed to park in the lot in front of the company. Now our barracks is approximately 3/4 mile down the road. Our motor pool is another 3/4 mile the other direction. I find it silly that an entire parking lot is reserved for married people. Sure single soldiers can drive to work, but we have to park in the barracks across the street. Which is not the barracks we live in. Married people can't park in that same lot if the one in front of company is full? To a point I can understand the reasoning behind this, but single soldiers have to leave and run here and there just like our married counter-parts. Why should they get special parking treatment? I don't see anyone stopping married people from using the barracks washers and dryers to avoid buying their own/going to coin laundry mats. Why are married people allowed to dip their hands in our honey and slap ours away from theirs?
Like I said from the start I'm biased. I look over the fence and see greener grass. Perhaps this is all just one single soldier bitching and complaining.
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Update FEB 2019: Since I originally posted this message, I have gotten married. My view on the subject has not changed. I want to respond to some of the overarching themes in everyone responses.
“Quit bitching/whining/complaining.” I feel there is a difference between logically laying out issues and grievances and just bitching about them. The number of leaders who contributions on this post/topic amounted to “quit saying words” is disheartening.
“Get married/Army will issue you a wife.” Saying to get married just to move out of the barracks is a failure of leadership. Those of you (in my opinion) with that mentally should reconsider what you do/did and what your job is/was. As a former Infantry NCO I have dealt with the countless issues that arise when a soldier quickly marries someone for the wrong reason (example: get out of the barracks). The domestic issues, spouse calling in to the Staff Duty, soldier isn’t training because of counseling/FAP/court/Divorce related nonsense, greatly diminishes readiness which the last I checked the Army still considers to be pretty important.
“I had more money/I wish I was back in the barracks/ but but bills! etc.” Bull. I wish I could challenge anyone who says that to actually prove it. As stated, I am married now. I have more money, flexibility, and financial freedom then I did as a single E-4. Now some of that is because I’m a higher rank. Part of it is because I use BAH as intended to cover housing/bills, my BAS for food, and having the control over how much I spend on those two items is very important. Also, my spouse works. I have come to realize that is less than common for married soldiers in the Army. However, I would argue that getting married and not having both spouses working is a decision that you made going in to it. I’m not arguing/stating if it’s the right or wrong choice. It’s what you decided worked for ya’ll. To me it’s the equivalent of a private going out and buying that 23% interest Mustang then complaining about how much money it costs and how he used to have it so much better without that car payment. If you choose (by getting married/having kids) to feed/house/care for additional people (spouse/kids) and yet do nothing to increase your income than yeah…you’ll have less money. That is a very poor argument for what the original post was about.
a. Hopefully ^above^ I’ve made my point clear and concise seems a little muddy to me, I guess we shall see in future comments.
“Move off post.” That’s not an option. Well I guess it is, however single soldiers still have to maintain the barracks room they get assigned, they still wouldn’t get the BAH entitlement, and they would have to still pay the DFAC out of their BAS. Do I need to continue on the ignorance of that statement? Sure, there’s a packet you can submit and ask to receive those allowances, I’ve only ever seen get accepted once and that was when my BDE changed from Light to Armored, only for E-5s, and it was suggested only if they were on orders and would be PCS’ing soon anyhow. They wanted non-PCS’ing E-5s still in the barracks. I don’t recall if I stated it in my original post but that unofficial additional duty of being an NCO at the barracks is crap. “You’re an NCO at the barracks keep everyone in line down there after work and on weekends”, thought that’s what CQ was for. I’ll also comment on the “single people off post would party to much/be late to formation/traffic at the gates/ get in trouble in town more” line of nonsense. It’s ignorant. Along with the “paying dues” comments.
Veterans- I appreciate you are still active in the boarder military community, and recognize that your time in the service paved the way for what we did/do/have accomplished today. However, pointing out how things were worse yesterday compared today and to “suck it up” is lazy. There is no reason we can’t keep pointing out things today to make tomorrow even better. I’m sure there is crap I can’t even fathom that ya’ll dealt with back in the 60s, 80s, and what have you that were fixed because of people continuing to bring the issue up.
Lastly, I’ve enjoyed reading the varied amount of responses everyone has on the topic. If mine come off as aggressive or across the line it was not my intention. When I posted the original stuff above 4+ almost 5 years ago I never expected it to get attention and still receive emails notifications years later. I’m fairly sure I’ve read 90% of the comments because Rally Point sends me an email every time someone comments. No I did not add that picture at the top, it’s the website. Sorry if you clicked on a Rally Point ad somewhere that linked to this post only to see it’s from 2014. I don’t control those. It’s the website. Yes I’m sure there are a few grammar and spelling errors. If you point it out at the beginning of a comment, I’m more likely to see it and correct the issue. Cheers to several more years of being told why I’m wrong.
Housing is my personal biggest area of concern being a single soldier. I am a 27 yr old college graduate. I get the same "rights" in my living quarters that a single 17/18 yr old straight out of high-school would get. If that same soldier is married, they get considerably more freedom, pay, and budget control than I do.
I as a single soldier get no say in where I live. At my current duty station the BAH for my rank and dependent status (Single, E-4) would be $1,068. So I essentially pay $1,068 dollars a month to live in the barracks. The barracks I live in have two separate bedrooms, with a common kitchen and bathroom area. Since there are two soldiers in each little barracks apartment, we collectively pay $2,136 a month for this set up. That is FAR more then what a similar apartment style would cost in the surrounding communities. If single soldiers were allowed to have BAH and live where they choose we could potentially save several hundred dollars a month by controlling our living expenses. That's not including the approximately $300 a month we are forced to pay for the DFACs.
There is also the issue of furniture in the barracks. Again we have no say, we get whatever the Army already has in the room. Personally I would love to have an actual nice mattress, instead of these cheap plastic blue ones.
Barracks inspections. I can't stand barracks inspections. The inspections are completely up to the person doing them and what they "think" the standard should be. One inspection your could be fine, the next one your getting lectured about how to make a bed. Last summer I had to write a 2 page paper for an LT about personal standards in the barracks. All because my bed didn't have hospital corners. (That morning when I get up I tossed my blanket off to the right of me, where it was just sorta crunched up against the wall running the length of my bed.) If I want to know what I am allowed to have and not have in my room, I have to read three different policy letters to find out. Division could allow something, Brigade could say no, and then Battalion have nothing about it at all. I get that lower commands are allowed to restrict privileges as they see fit. I'm just saying it's cumbersome to have to read three different levels policy to find out what is what.
It annoys me that I have to have periodic inspections(currently every morning before PT for my company) while married soldiers receive no inspections just because they are married. I get that they have a family, I just don't see why that should stop a squad leader from making a planned, announced, and visual walk-through of the house of the married soldier. Keeping the same standard of living as a single soldier should be part of the military life.
Meal Deductions. I don't think the DFACs are worth the $300 a month I have to pay. I hate having to "play" the "I am a Meal Card Holder" card to get lunch sometimes during work. It's usually followed by a married soldier saying "I'm working thru lunch, you don't see me bitching about wanting to leave for food". True. However when we miss our lunch it's gone. The money we paid is gone rather we ate that meal or not. Married people if they bring their lunch it'll still be there later. If they eat out, then well that's just money they didn't spend that day. They can use it tomorrow to get twice as much for lunch or eat somewhere more expensive depending on their budget.
We get no say in what sounds good for dinner. It's whatever the DFAC has. Sometimes that means either fried or grilled chicken. If they run out of one thing, it'll be whatever they have left. It's not right. It leaves married people with control over their diet and single soldiers with whatever the Army needed to clean out of the fridge.
The above is just Big Army things, the discrimination continues all the way down to the company level. At my company single soldiers who live in the barracks are not allowed to park in the lot in front of the company. Now our barracks is approximately 3/4 mile down the road. Our motor pool is another 3/4 mile the other direction. I find it silly that an entire parking lot is reserved for married people. Sure single soldiers can drive to work, but we have to park in the barracks across the street. Which is not the barracks we live in. Married people can't park in that same lot if the one in front of company is full? To a point I can understand the reasoning behind this, but single soldiers have to leave and run here and there just like our married counter-parts. Why should they get special parking treatment? I don't see anyone stopping married people from using the barracks washers and dryers to avoid buying their own/going to coin laundry mats. Why are married people allowed to dip their hands in our honey and slap ours away from theirs?
Like I said from the start I'm biased. I look over the fence and see greener grass. Perhaps this is all just one single soldier bitching and complaining.
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Update FEB 2019: Since I originally posted this message, I have gotten married. My view on the subject has not changed. I want to respond to some of the overarching themes in everyone responses.
“Quit bitching/whining/complaining.” I feel there is a difference between logically laying out issues and grievances and just bitching about them. The number of leaders who contributions on this post/topic amounted to “quit saying words” is disheartening.
“Get married/Army will issue you a wife.” Saying to get married just to move out of the barracks is a failure of leadership. Those of you (in my opinion) with that mentally should reconsider what you do/did and what your job is/was. As a former Infantry NCO I have dealt with the countless issues that arise when a soldier quickly marries someone for the wrong reason (example: get out of the barracks). The domestic issues, spouse calling in to the Staff Duty, soldier isn’t training because of counseling/FAP/court/Divorce related nonsense, greatly diminishes readiness which the last I checked the Army still considers to be pretty important.
“I had more money/I wish I was back in the barracks/ but but bills! etc.” Bull. I wish I could challenge anyone who says that to actually prove it. As stated, I am married now. I have more money, flexibility, and financial freedom then I did as a single E-4. Now some of that is because I’m a higher rank. Part of it is because I use BAH as intended to cover housing/bills, my BAS for food, and having the control over how much I spend on those two items is very important. Also, my spouse works. I have come to realize that is less than common for married soldiers in the Army. However, I would argue that getting married and not having both spouses working is a decision that you made going in to it. I’m not arguing/stating if it’s the right or wrong choice. It’s what you decided worked for ya’ll. To me it’s the equivalent of a private going out and buying that 23% interest Mustang then complaining about how much money it costs and how he used to have it so much better without that car payment. If you choose (by getting married/having kids) to feed/house/care for additional people (spouse/kids) and yet do nothing to increase your income than yeah…you’ll have less money. That is a very poor argument for what the original post was about.
a. Hopefully ^above^ I’ve made my point clear and concise seems a little muddy to me, I guess we shall see in future comments.
“Move off post.” That’s not an option. Well I guess it is, however single soldiers still have to maintain the barracks room they get assigned, they still wouldn’t get the BAH entitlement, and they would have to still pay the DFAC out of their BAS. Do I need to continue on the ignorance of that statement? Sure, there’s a packet you can submit and ask to receive those allowances, I’ve only ever seen get accepted once and that was when my BDE changed from Light to Armored, only for E-5s, and it was suggested only if they were on orders and would be PCS’ing soon anyhow. They wanted non-PCS’ing E-5s still in the barracks. I don’t recall if I stated it in my original post but that unofficial additional duty of being an NCO at the barracks is crap. “You’re an NCO at the barracks keep everyone in line down there after work and on weekends”, thought that’s what CQ was for. I’ll also comment on the “single people off post would party to much/be late to formation/traffic at the gates/ get in trouble in town more” line of nonsense. It’s ignorant. Along with the “paying dues” comments.
Veterans- I appreciate you are still active in the boarder military community, and recognize that your time in the service paved the way for what we did/do/have accomplished today. However, pointing out how things were worse yesterday compared today and to “suck it up” is lazy. There is no reason we can’t keep pointing out things today to make tomorrow even better. I’m sure there is crap I can’t even fathom that ya’ll dealt with back in the 60s, 80s, and what have you that were fixed because of people continuing to bring the issue up.
Lastly, I’ve enjoyed reading the varied amount of responses everyone has on the topic. If mine come off as aggressive or across the line it was not my intention. When I posted the original stuff above 4+ almost 5 years ago I never expected it to get attention and still receive emails notifications years later. I’m fairly sure I’ve read 90% of the comments because Rally Point sends me an email every time someone comments. No I did not add that picture at the top, it’s the website. Sorry if you clicked on a Rally Point ad somewhere that linked to this post only to see it’s from 2014. I don’t control those. It’s the website. Yes I’m sure there are a few grammar and spelling errors. If you point it out at the beginning of a comment, I’m more likely to see it and correct the issue. Cheers to several more years of being told why I’m wrong.
Posted in these groups: 
Barracks
BAS
Marriage
DiscriminationBetter Opportunities for Single Soldiers (BOSS) President
Barracks BAS Marriage DiscriminationBetter Opportunities for Single Soldiers (BOSS) President
Edited >1 y ago
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 488
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Not sure about the Army, or how it really is nowadays; however, the Navy was always good at discriminating against married guys during previous decades. There was little empathy for a Sailor with a family related issue he had to deal with, base housing was difficult to obtain, and usually sub-standard at best. The Navy figured everyone had a home onboard ship, and that is where they belonged.
It was not uncommon to hear “If the Navy wanted you to have a wife and kids, they would have been issued to you in your seabag”.
I’m sure it’s different now, thankfully...
It was not uncommon to hear “If the Navy wanted you to have a wife and kids, they would have been issued to you in your seabag”.
I’m sure it’s different now, thankfully...
Simply put...Because it is not spelled out by law. My entire career I was single and saw the most stuff that would make my blood boil. The Army will go out of its way to kiss a married soldiers ass, but won't budge for single soldiers. When I was stationed in Holland, I used to have an E-4 who worked for me who would have to take his wife to every fracking appointment known. One day when I was handing out LES's (Yes we used to hand out LES's) I saw he made about $400 bucks more than me a month due to being married, and I as an E-6 was single. After that I started giving him options on his wife's appointments, put in for a pass, take leave or submit a plan as to how you were going to make up the lost time you took off. He went to the 1SG. Top questioned me, I told him it wasn't fair to single soldiers that they didn't get free days off to be with their family's, why should he? Besides, he has an extra $400 a month, the rest of the section doesn't see. He can call a taxi for her. Top agreed.
I would like to say that as a former Garrison B.O.S.S. President every single issue you brought up here, and then some, are exactly the issues I would bring up with Single Soldier life.
The B.O.S.S. Program was designed to enhance the lives of Single Soldiers, but it did just the opposite in that respect when it actually came down to all the unfairness experienced between barracks and married life.
Having been a B.O.S.S. President I would have loved for you to bring me that 4856 from your Lieutenant so that I could have his ass standing in front of your Brigade Commander and CSM ripping him a new one for violating Army policy that says you don't have to have hospital corners on your bed, especially if you have your own blankets and such on the bed. And if you were for some reason not allowed to have your own comforters then that's another problem entirely and one I would have also taken issue with your chain of command over.
One of my biggest pet peeves about the difference between the treatment of Single Soldiers and married ones was Charge of Quarters. I can understand Battalion and above having a 24 hour staff officer in case of things happening. However, CQ was always called the barracks babysitters. That's what they were. They weren't there to actually treat these Soldiers like adults. They were there to babysit them like grade school children.
The one thing I think needs to be addressed in all of this is how the treatment of Single Soldiers is truly a failure of leadership from the Chief of Staff on down to the Company Commanders and First Sergeants. We are not using this time as a means to help teach our Soldiers valuable skills in life that help to translate to better performance in their duties. BAH and BAS are perfect opportunities to help teach these young Soldiers money management, paying rent, making better dietary choices by preparing better meals for themselves, time management skills, etc. These are all things that these Soldiers will need when they get out.
Even at 13 years of active service when I got out I still had to live in the barracks as a junior NCO. The first time I had ever applied for somewhere to live for myself was after I got out. Navigating that process for the first time as a 32 year old was challenging. It was compounded by the fact that my first four months out of service I was living off of my medical discharge severance while waiting for the job I had accepted to start.
The barracks are a relic of the past that should only be used during training. Our Single Soldiers deserve better quality of life and way better leadership. I say it's time to do away with permanent party barracks and start teaching our Soldiers life skills that will make them better Soldiers and prepare them for civilian life as well before they get married.
The B.O.S.S. Program was designed to enhance the lives of Single Soldiers, but it did just the opposite in that respect when it actually came down to all the unfairness experienced between barracks and married life.
Having been a B.O.S.S. President I would have loved for you to bring me that 4856 from your Lieutenant so that I could have his ass standing in front of your Brigade Commander and CSM ripping him a new one for violating Army policy that says you don't have to have hospital corners on your bed, especially if you have your own blankets and such on the bed. And if you were for some reason not allowed to have your own comforters then that's another problem entirely and one I would have also taken issue with your chain of command over.
One of my biggest pet peeves about the difference between the treatment of Single Soldiers and married ones was Charge of Quarters. I can understand Battalion and above having a 24 hour staff officer in case of things happening. However, CQ was always called the barracks babysitters. That's what they were. They weren't there to actually treat these Soldiers like adults. They were there to babysit them like grade school children.
The one thing I think needs to be addressed in all of this is how the treatment of Single Soldiers is truly a failure of leadership from the Chief of Staff on down to the Company Commanders and First Sergeants. We are not using this time as a means to help teach our Soldiers valuable skills in life that help to translate to better performance in their duties. BAH and BAS are perfect opportunities to help teach these young Soldiers money management, paying rent, making better dietary choices by preparing better meals for themselves, time management skills, etc. These are all things that these Soldiers will need when they get out.
Even at 13 years of active service when I got out I still had to live in the barracks as a junior NCO. The first time I had ever applied for somewhere to live for myself was after I got out. Navigating that process for the first time as a 32 year old was challenging. It was compounded by the fact that my first four months out of service I was living off of my medical discharge severance while waiting for the job I had accepted to start.
The barracks are a relic of the past that should only be used during training. Our Single Soldiers deserve better quality of life and way better leadership. I say it's time to do away with permanent party barracks and start teaching our Soldiers life skills that will make them better Soldiers and prepare them for civilian life as well before they get married.
Should have joined the Marine Corps! Every meal is a feast and every payday is a fortune! Our barracks are small castles with hand-crafted furniture and the finest of linen! Absolutely no incentive to marry a stripper and move to the trailer park!
I loved living in the barracks after my divorce. I didn't have to cook and minimal cleaning a room versusa whole apartment and i didn't have to fight traffic because everyone coming on post and meal card was awesome i saved money because 300 didn't cover the whole month and i ate better. But to each their own. I also didn't have to worry when deployed because my room never got broken into when i left. I guess some don't like it but i loved it because i had no worries but i also had a nice unit.
Listen people. Enlisted single personnel are wild and are still kids at heart.I'm retired and yes was a single soldier. People the military is a family. This site seems to cry about the most stupid ass shit. My soldier's knew how to act around families. So stop all the fucking crying about military families. I really want to talk to all you fuckheads face to face. Fucking cry babies.
The Army has one reason for treating you different. Those with dependents will put up with more shit. You want to see discrimination in the military look at how white, heterosexual enlisted are treated. There is nepotism but not every one is related to high ranking military or civilians. West Pointers are included in that mess. I loved pre-gender neutral Ranger School. Because only your graded rank matters I was an Equal Opportunity Destroyer. I was the Merrill’s Marauders Leadership Recipient because of it.
Very well written. Having been a single enlisted soldier I voiced many of those points, usually during nightime GI parties prior to CSM inspection. That being said, I and you, joined the army and some of that is just the way it is. Totally fair to gripe about and even justified but DoD cannot afford to even run post housing for married soldiers much less provide sufficient on post housing. It could never afford to provide those benefits to 100%. It's not fair but again it's the army. It should do better on so many of your other points. I felt DFAC quality declined slowly over my entire career. Single soldiers should never have to pay for DFAC meals.
The military has flaws and they do need to be addressed. If you want to move out of the dorms and you are an E-4 or above it should be an option. Once you are out you should not be responsible for a room either. However, once you are out of dorms you should not be eligible to move back in. So, if you have a problem adjusting to paying all your bills that come along with living off base you will need to work it out.
Singles are discriminated against in all walks of life. Join a country club and pay the same dues as your married buddy. But if you bring your girlfriend to play golf, you pay a guest fee.
Is it religion that has led to this marital discrimination?
Is it religion that has led to this marital discrimination?
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