Posted on May 18, 2014
Why does the Army discriminate against single soldiers?
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First let me say I am biased in my opinion since I am a single soldier. The Army stacks the deck against single soldiers, in a variety of ways. There are standards that single soldiers are forced to obey that married soldiers are not. Purely just because of their marriage.
Housing is my personal biggest area of concern being a single soldier. I am a 27 yr old college graduate. I get the same "rights" in my living quarters that a single 17/18 yr old straight out of high-school would get. If that same soldier is married, they get considerably more freedom, pay, and budget control than I do.
I as a single soldier get no say in where I live. At my current duty station the BAH for my rank and dependent status (Single, E-4) would be $1,068. So I essentially pay $1,068 dollars a month to live in the barracks. The barracks I live in have two separate bedrooms, with a common kitchen and bathroom area. Since there are two soldiers in each little barracks apartment, we collectively pay $2,136 a month for this set up. That is FAR more then what a similar apartment style would cost in the surrounding communities. If single soldiers were allowed to have BAH and live where they choose we could potentially save several hundred dollars a month by controlling our living expenses. That's not including the approximately $300 a month we are forced to pay for the DFACs.
There is also the issue of furniture in the barracks. Again we have no say, we get whatever the Army already has in the room. Personally I would love to have an actual nice mattress, instead of these cheap plastic blue ones.
Barracks inspections. I can't stand barracks inspections. The inspections are completely up to the person doing them and what they "think" the standard should be. One inspection your could be fine, the next one your getting lectured about how to make a bed. Last summer I had to write a 2 page paper for an LT about personal standards in the barracks. All because my bed didn't have hospital corners. (That morning when I get up I tossed my blanket off to the right of me, where it was just sorta crunched up against the wall running the length of my bed.) If I want to know what I am allowed to have and not have in my room, I have to read three different policy letters to find out. Division could allow something, Brigade could say no, and then Battalion have nothing about it at all. I get that lower commands are allowed to restrict privileges as they see fit. I'm just saying it's cumbersome to have to read three different levels policy to find out what is what.
It annoys me that I have to have periodic inspections(currently every morning before PT for my company) while married soldiers receive no inspections just because they are married. I get that they have a family, I just don't see why that should stop a squad leader from making a planned, announced, and visual walk-through of the house of the married soldier. Keeping the same standard of living as a single soldier should be part of the military life.
Meal Deductions. I don't think the DFACs are worth the $300 a month I have to pay. I hate having to "play" the "I am a Meal Card Holder" card to get lunch sometimes during work. It's usually followed by a married soldier saying "I'm working thru lunch, you don't see me bitching about wanting to leave for food". True. However when we miss our lunch it's gone. The money we paid is gone rather we ate that meal or not. Married people if they bring their lunch it'll still be there later. If they eat out, then well that's just money they didn't spend that day. They can use it tomorrow to get twice as much for lunch or eat somewhere more expensive depending on their budget.
We get no say in what sounds good for dinner. It's whatever the DFAC has. Sometimes that means either fried or grilled chicken. If they run out of one thing, it'll be whatever they have left. It's not right. It leaves married people with control over their diet and single soldiers with whatever the Army needed to clean out of the fridge.
The above is just Big Army things, the discrimination continues all the way down to the company level. At my company single soldiers who live in the barracks are not allowed to park in the lot in front of the company. Now our barracks is approximately 3/4 mile down the road. Our motor pool is another 3/4 mile the other direction. I find it silly that an entire parking lot is reserved for married people. Sure single soldiers can drive to work, but we have to park in the barracks across the street. Which is not the barracks we live in. Married people can't park in that same lot if the one in front of company is full? To a point I can understand the reasoning behind this, but single soldiers have to leave and run here and there just like our married counter-parts. Why should they get special parking treatment? I don't see anyone stopping married people from using the barracks washers and dryers to avoid buying their own/going to coin laundry mats. Why are married people allowed to dip their hands in our honey and slap ours away from theirs?
Like I said from the start I'm biased. I look over the fence and see greener grass. Perhaps this is all just one single soldier bitching and complaining.
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Update FEB 2019: Since I originally posted this message, I have gotten married. My view on the subject has not changed. I want to respond to some of the overarching themes in everyone responses.
“Quit bitching/whining/complaining.” I feel there is a difference between logically laying out issues and grievances and just bitching about them. The number of leaders who contributions on this post/topic amounted to “quit saying words” is disheartening.
“Get married/Army will issue you a wife.” Saying to get married just to move out of the barracks is a failure of leadership. Those of you (in my opinion) with that mentally should reconsider what you do/did and what your job is/was. As a former Infantry NCO I have dealt with the countless issues that arise when a soldier quickly marries someone for the wrong reason (example: get out of the barracks). The domestic issues, spouse calling in to the Staff Duty, soldier isn’t training because of counseling/FAP/court/Divorce related nonsense, greatly diminishes readiness which the last I checked the Army still considers to be pretty important.
“I had more money/I wish I was back in the barracks/ but but bills! etc.” Bull. I wish I could challenge anyone who says that to actually prove it. As stated, I am married now. I have more money, flexibility, and financial freedom then I did as a single E-4. Now some of that is because I’m a higher rank. Part of it is because I use BAH as intended to cover housing/bills, my BAS for food, and having the control over how much I spend on those two items is very important. Also, my spouse works. I have come to realize that is less than common for married soldiers in the Army. However, I would argue that getting married and not having both spouses working is a decision that you made going in to it. I’m not arguing/stating if it’s the right or wrong choice. It’s what you decided worked for ya’ll. To me it’s the equivalent of a private going out and buying that 23% interest Mustang then complaining about how much money it costs and how he used to have it so much better without that car payment. If you choose (by getting married/having kids) to feed/house/care for additional people (spouse/kids) and yet do nothing to increase your income than yeah…you’ll have less money. That is a very poor argument for what the original post was about.
a. Hopefully ^above^ I’ve made my point clear and concise seems a little muddy to me, I guess we shall see in future comments.
“Move off post.” That’s not an option. Well I guess it is, however single soldiers still have to maintain the barracks room they get assigned, they still wouldn’t get the BAH entitlement, and they would have to still pay the DFAC out of their BAS. Do I need to continue on the ignorance of that statement? Sure, there’s a packet you can submit and ask to receive those allowances, I’ve only ever seen get accepted once and that was when my BDE changed from Light to Armored, only for E-5s, and it was suggested only if they were on orders and would be PCS’ing soon anyhow. They wanted non-PCS’ing E-5s still in the barracks. I don’t recall if I stated it in my original post but that unofficial additional duty of being an NCO at the barracks is crap. “You’re an NCO at the barracks keep everyone in line down there after work and on weekends”, thought that’s what CQ was for. I’ll also comment on the “single people off post would party to much/be late to formation/traffic at the gates/ get in trouble in town more” line of nonsense. It’s ignorant. Along with the “paying dues” comments.
Veterans- I appreciate you are still active in the boarder military community, and recognize that your time in the service paved the way for what we did/do/have accomplished today. However, pointing out how things were worse yesterday compared today and to “suck it up” is lazy. There is no reason we can’t keep pointing out things today to make tomorrow even better. I’m sure there is crap I can’t even fathom that ya’ll dealt with back in the 60s, 80s, and what have you that were fixed because of people continuing to bring the issue up.
Lastly, I’ve enjoyed reading the varied amount of responses everyone has on the topic. If mine come off as aggressive or across the line it was not my intention. When I posted the original stuff above 4+ almost 5 years ago I never expected it to get attention and still receive emails notifications years later. I’m fairly sure I’ve read 90% of the comments because Rally Point sends me an email every time someone comments. No I did not add that picture at the top, it’s the website. Sorry if you clicked on a Rally Point ad somewhere that linked to this post only to see it’s from 2014. I don’t control those. It’s the website. Yes I’m sure there are a few grammar and spelling errors. If you point it out at the beginning of a comment, I’m more likely to see it and correct the issue. Cheers to several more years of being told why I’m wrong.
Housing is my personal biggest area of concern being a single soldier. I am a 27 yr old college graduate. I get the same "rights" in my living quarters that a single 17/18 yr old straight out of high-school would get. If that same soldier is married, they get considerably more freedom, pay, and budget control than I do.
I as a single soldier get no say in where I live. At my current duty station the BAH for my rank and dependent status (Single, E-4) would be $1,068. So I essentially pay $1,068 dollars a month to live in the barracks. The barracks I live in have two separate bedrooms, with a common kitchen and bathroom area. Since there are two soldiers in each little barracks apartment, we collectively pay $2,136 a month for this set up. That is FAR more then what a similar apartment style would cost in the surrounding communities. If single soldiers were allowed to have BAH and live where they choose we could potentially save several hundred dollars a month by controlling our living expenses. That's not including the approximately $300 a month we are forced to pay for the DFACs.
There is also the issue of furniture in the barracks. Again we have no say, we get whatever the Army already has in the room. Personally I would love to have an actual nice mattress, instead of these cheap plastic blue ones.
Barracks inspections. I can't stand barracks inspections. The inspections are completely up to the person doing them and what they "think" the standard should be. One inspection your could be fine, the next one your getting lectured about how to make a bed. Last summer I had to write a 2 page paper for an LT about personal standards in the barracks. All because my bed didn't have hospital corners. (That morning when I get up I tossed my blanket off to the right of me, where it was just sorta crunched up against the wall running the length of my bed.) If I want to know what I am allowed to have and not have in my room, I have to read three different policy letters to find out. Division could allow something, Brigade could say no, and then Battalion have nothing about it at all. I get that lower commands are allowed to restrict privileges as they see fit. I'm just saying it's cumbersome to have to read three different levels policy to find out what is what.
It annoys me that I have to have periodic inspections(currently every morning before PT for my company) while married soldiers receive no inspections just because they are married. I get that they have a family, I just don't see why that should stop a squad leader from making a planned, announced, and visual walk-through of the house of the married soldier. Keeping the same standard of living as a single soldier should be part of the military life.
Meal Deductions. I don't think the DFACs are worth the $300 a month I have to pay. I hate having to "play" the "I am a Meal Card Holder" card to get lunch sometimes during work. It's usually followed by a married soldier saying "I'm working thru lunch, you don't see me bitching about wanting to leave for food". True. However when we miss our lunch it's gone. The money we paid is gone rather we ate that meal or not. Married people if they bring their lunch it'll still be there later. If they eat out, then well that's just money they didn't spend that day. They can use it tomorrow to get twice as much for lunch or eat somewhere more expensive depending on their budget.
We get no say in what sounds good for dinner. It's whatever the DFAC has. Sometimes that means either fried or grilled chicken. If they run out of one thing, it'll be whatever they have left. It's not right. It leaves married people with control over their diet and single soldiers with whatever the Army needed to clean out of the fridge.
The above is just Big Army things, the discrimination continues all the way down to the company level. At my company single soldiers who live in the barracks are not allowed to park in the lot in front of the company. Now our barracks is approximately 3/4 mile down the road. Our motor pool is another 3/4 mile the other direction. I find it silly that an entire parking lot is reserved for married people. Sure single soldiers can drive to work, but we have to park in the barracks across the street. Which is not the barracks we live in. Married people can't park in that same lot if the one in front of company is full? To a point I can understand the reasoning behind this, but single soldiers have to leave and run here and there just like our married counter-parts. Why should they get special parking treatment? I don't see anyone stopping married people from using the barracks washers and dryers to avoid buying their own/going to coin laundry mats. Why are married people allowed to dip their hands in our honey and slap ours away from theirs?
Like I said from the start I'm biased. I look over the fence and see greener grass. Perhaps this is all just one single soldier bitching and complaining.
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Update FEB 2019: Since I originally posted this message, I have gotten married. My view on the subject has not changed. I want to respond to some of the overarching themes in everyone responses.
“Quit bitching/whining/complaining.” I feel there is a difference between logically laying out issues and grievances and just bitching about them. The number of leaders who contributions on this post/topic amounted to “quit saying words” is disheartening.
“Get married/Army will issue you a wife.” Saying to get married just to move out of the barracks is a failure of leadership. Those of you (in my opinion) with that mentally should reconsider what you do/did and what your job is/was. As a former Infantry NCO I have dealt with the countless issues that arise when a soldier quickly marries someone for the wrong reason (example: get out of the barracks). The domestic issues, spouse calling in to the Staff Duty, soldier isn’t training because of counseling/FAP/court/Divorce related nonsense, greatly diminishes readiness which the last I checked the Army still considers to be pretty important.
“I had more money/I wish I was back in the barracks/ but but bills! etc.” Bull. I wish I could challenge anyone who says that to actually prove it. As stated, I am married now. I have more money, flexibility, and financial freedom then I did as a single E-4. Now some of that is because I’m a higher rank. Part of it is because I use BAH as intended to cover housing/bills, my BAS for food, and having the control over how much I spend on those two items is very important. Also, my spouse works. I have come to realize that is less than common for married soldiers in the Army. However, I would argue that getting married and not having both spouses working is a decision that you made going in to it. I’m not arguing/stating if it’s the right or wrong choice. It’s what you decided worked for ya’ll. To me it’s the equivalent of a private going out and buying that 23% interest Mustang then complaining about how much money it costs and how he used to have it so much better without that car payment. If you choose (by getting married/having kids) to feed/house/care for additional people (spouse/kids) and yet do nothing to increase your income than yeah…you’ll have less money. That is a very poor argument for what the original post was about.
a. Hopefully ^above^ I’ve made my point clear and concise seems a little muddy to me, I guess we shall see in future comments.
“Move off post.” That’s not an option. Well I guess it is, however single soldiers still have to maintain the barracks room they get assigned, they still wouldn’t get the BAH entitlement, and they would have to still pay the DFAC out of their BAS. Do I need to continue on the ignorance of that statement? Sure, there’s a packet you can submit and ask to receive those allowances, I’ve only ever seen get accepted once and that was when my BDE changed from Light to Armored, only for E-5s, and it was suggested only if they were on orders and would be PCS’ing soon anyhow. They wanted non-PCS’ing E-5s still in the barracks. I don’t recall if I stated it in my original post but that unofficial additional duty of being an NCO at the barracks is crap. “You’re an NCO at the barracks keep everyone in line down there after work and on weekends”, thought that’s what CQ was for. I’ll also comment on the “single people off post would party to much/be late to formation/traffic at the gates/ get in trouble in town more” line of nonsense. It’s ignorant. Along with the “paying dues” comments.
Veterans- I appreciate you are still active in the boarder military community, and recognize that your time in the service paved the way for what we did/do/have accomplished today. However, pointing out how things were worse yesterday compared today and to “suck it up” is lazy. There is no reason we can’t keep pointing out things today to make tomorrow even better. I’m sure there is crap I can’t even fathom that ya’ll dealt with back in the 60s, 80s, and what have you that were fixed because of people continuing to bring the issue up.
Lastly, I’ve enjoyed reading the varied amount of responses everyone has on the topic. If mine come off as aggressive or across the line it was not my intention. When I posted the original stuff above 4+ almost 5 years ago I never expected it to get attention and still receive emails notifications years later. I’m fairly sure I’ve read 90% of the comments because Rally Point sends me an email every time someone comments. No I did not add that picture at the top, it’s the website. Sorry if you clicked on a Rally Point ad somewhere that linked to this post only to see it’s from 2014. I don’t control those. It’s the website. Yes I’m sure there are a few grammar and spelling errors. If you point it out at the beginning of a comment, I’m more likely to see it and correct the issue. Cheers to several more years of being told why I’m wrong.
Posted in these groups: 
Barracks
BAS
Marriage
DiscriminationBetter Opportunities for Single Soldiers (BOSS) President
Barracks BAS Marriage DiscriminationBetter Opportunities for Single Soldiers (BOSS) President
Edited >1 y ago
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 488
Wow. That’s some serious bullcrap. I had no idea show much single soldiers get pissed on, even as they increase in age, education and rank. Still though, I thinks it a strange approach to attack what married soldiers get and wishing they didn’t have it, rather than advocating for single soldiers to have more rights. If the army gives you a crap sandwich And the guy next to you a juicy burger, you should want the army to give you both juicy burgers, not take the burger away and give you both crap sandwiches lol
The grass is always greener where?
When I first saw the question, I thought I misread it, then pulled a face of disbelief. When I joined the Navy at age 17, my Boot Camp Company Commander (Sr. Chief Reltault) told us that the Navy was one of the few places in life where you could get your pay on Friday, blow it all over the weekend, and still have somewhere to sleep and eat on Monday. As an E-3 I wanted to move off base and be near my buddies, but could not afford it, I still had a great life.
As a married "Zero," I felt the discrimination was against me with the USMC attitude of 'If Uncle Sam wanted you to have a wife, he would have issued you one.' There was little regard for my family. An example is returning from a deployment as an attachment, the Battalion had a 4 day weekend. That also applied to me. However, I had a new Battery Commander (CPT Sansone) who said the Battery had a lot to do and asked if I would work the weekend anyway. Dumbass that I was, I did. My family was penalized as well as I was for being married.
As to your dietary choices, I think that you said you had a kitchen in your barracks. Cook and clean up for yourself and you won't have to worry about the DFAC.
When I first saw the question, I thought I misread it, then pulled a face of disbelief. When I joined the Navy at age 17, my Boot Camp Company Commander (Sr. Chief Reltault) told us that the Navy was one of the few places in life where you could get your pay on Friday, blow it all over the weekend, and still have somewhere to sleep and eat on Monday. As an E-3 I wanted to move off base and be near my buddies, but could not afford it, I still had a great life.
As a married "Zero," I felt the discrimination was against me with the USMC attitude of 'If Uncle Sam wanted you to have a wife, he would have issued you one.' There was little regard for my family. An example is returning from a deployment as an attachment, the Battalion had a 4 day weekend. That also applied to me. However, I had a new Battery Commander (CPT Sansone) who said the Battery had a lot to do and asked if I would work the weekend anyway. Dumbass that I was, I did. My family was penalized as well as I was for being married.
As to your dietary choices, I think that you said you had a kitchen in your barracks. Cook and clean up for yourself and you won't have to worry about the DFAC.
Yes, when I was in the Air Force, most all of the officers and sergeant's were married. I also noticed the fratinization amongst them, of course they would say "oh we were just talking about our kids", as if that was a great reason. The commander's did nothing to address the favoritism, why, because they were married with children as well. I remember one squadron I served under, everyone who was single was on the swing or graveyard shift, while the married people were on day shift, Monday thru Friday, 8AM to 4:30pm. And God forbid they have to work late, because it was their turn to pick up the kids from school, etc. You guys know what I'm talking about. Can I get an Amen, please?
I'm a single officer and wholeheartedly agree with your points. Most of the responses here pertain to on post living in barracks, etc. Although I've been lucky enough to not have had to live on post long-term, there are several financial discrepancies between married and single officers that are not right and just.
Some examples: (1) during basic training (for 5 months), married officers got their rent or mortgage back home paid eventhough most had working spouses. Single soldiers only got basic pay, no BHA or food allowance, and had to pay their rent or mortgage back home themselves because not overyone who is single lives with mommy. Some people lived with significant others like an unmarried partner or adult child who is not recognized as a dependent. (2) Married officers got family separation allowance bc they missed their spouses; they didn't have to actually spend the money on transporting their spouses to see them. Single officers who missed their significant others or 18 yr old children or parents get no family separation allowance for missing their family, etc. (3) Married officers received dislocation allowance when moving to their 1st duty station. Single officers did not because the Army thinks you lived with mommy so you ... still don't understand the rationale behind that. (4) Married officers get 100% of their departure TLA (lodging and meals) paid when they move out of their apartment in OCONUS and live in on post or off post lodging waiting to PCS. Single officers only get 65% of their lodging and meals paid. This is depite the fact that their OHA (OCONUS equivalent of BHA) stops as soon as they move out of the off post apartment. So, that means single officers can, and often do, pay for part of their on post lodging bill out of their own pocket while not receiving OHA/BHA when lodging charges the same rate for a standard room whether you are married or single.
I can go on but you get the point. And for those who argue, stick with it or get out...remember that next time the Army is concerned about retention numbers and single soldiers leaving. The Army claims to want to remain competitive. Instead, it is a socialist organization that favors married soldiers over single soldiers. I know of no private organization, or even civilians working for the gov't, that says do the same work, or even more, but we will have to pay the married person more money because he is married. His/her choice to get married and have children; now he/she has to budget for it. Equal pay for equal work!
Some examples: (1) during basic training (for 5 months), married officers got their rent or mortgage back home paid eventhough most had working spouses. Single soldiers only got basic pay, no BHA or food allowance, and had to pay their rent or mortgage back home themselves because not overyone who is single lives with mommy. Some people lived with significant others like an unmarried partner or adult child who is not recognized as a dependent. (2) Married officers got family separation allowance bc they missed their spouses; they didn't have to actually spend the money on transporting their spouses to see them. Single officers who missed their significant others or 18 yr old children or parents get no family separation allowance for missing their family, etc. (3) Married officers received dislocation allowance when moving to their 1st duty station. Single officers did not because the Army thinks you lived with mommy so you ... still don't understand the rationale behind that. (4) Married officers get 100% of their departure TLA (lodging and meals) paid when they move out of their apartment in OCONUS and live in on post or off post lodging waiting to PCS. Single officers only get 65% of their lodging and meals paid. This is depite the fact that their OHA (OCONUS equivalent of BHA) stops as soon as they move out of the off post apartment. So, that means single officers can, and often do, pay for part of their on post lodging bill out of their own pocket while not receiving OHA/BHA when lodging charges the same rate for a standard room whether you are married or single.
I can go on but you get the point. And for those who argue, stick with it or get out...remember that next time the Army is concerned about retention numbers and single soldiers leaving. The Army claims to want to remain competitive. Instead, it is a socialist organization that favors married soldiers over single soldiers. I know of no private organization, or even civilians working for the gov't, that says do the same work, or even more, but we will have to pay the married person more money because he is married. His/her choice to get married and have children; now he/she has to budget for it. Equal pay for equal work!
I know this post is a bit old, but I know all too well that this question will linger in the mind for years and throughout their career until the full picture hits them. I also want to take this opportunity to reveal that 'bigger picture' to all our new brothers and sisters across all branches that may see this in their feed.
Before I reveal this bigger picture, I must qualify my opinion on this subject: I have the perspective of all 3 points of view on this subject.
1. I am the second son of my father, SCPO Bob Baker Sr., USN RET (30yrs). My father retired just prior to my turning 16 years old. I have the perspective of what a married Service member has to deal with on a DAILY basis from little assholes like us, and the storm that brews from the spouse just before a phone call gets placed to speak to their service member while on duty. Mind you, our family didn't have cell phones of ANY kind until the last couple years of my father's service, and being AO he didn't have it on person while on duty.
2. I enlisted RA the day I turned 18, and lived in the barracks. I was part of that group that did not get extra 'privilege' for being married. I did not complain, because I understood that is just the way things are.
3. I am now Disabled, married, and a father to my 9-year-old. I work a full-time job, and have no choice but to have my phone in my pocket on vibrate all day or all night (I often work graveyards). I get texts and calls pretty often. I am intimately familiar with the burden and responsibilities of being not only a spouse but also being a parent.
So, hopefully I haven't yet lost any of you reading this, because I promise my point and the bigger picture is next.
After having lived (and still living a part of) this subject material, I have come to this conclusion: Yes. The Military DOES treat married servicemembers with more favor and leeway, but I know all too well that what those service members DO get in preferential treatment and leeway still comes nowhere near enough for what they must endure on a constant, DAILY basis when their day is done.
I had to share a bedroom with my 2 brothers on a regular basis. Whilst my father was a Chief, he was given orders to Whidbey Island in Washington State. We all moved and rented a home in my mother's home town to be close to family. My father received a last-minute change to San Diego, and my younger brother wasn't even a year old yet. My dad did what most NEVER do; he flew back and forth to work and home from time to time to be with us, while he looked for a new home for us in San Diego. Thankfully, our landlord was understanding of our predicament, and let us break lease penalty-free.
We didn't own our own home until my father made SCPO (E-8 for those that don't know Navy). During that first year, we were having to drink powdered milk and juice from those huge cans. I hated that crap. It sucked, but that was the price of having a home to own and giving the older brother his own room (he was 13 years old then, myself 9, and my younger brother 5).
Furniture of choice? We never got the chance to own our own brand-new couch for quite the longest time. Beds and dressers as well; much of it was acquired from swap-meets, second-hand stores, garage sales, and hand-me-downs. Also, my mother worked part- to three-quarter-time to make sure we made ends-meet each week. We shopped commissary, I remember those days well. We did this in order to grant us little brats our ammenities we got to enjoy: Nintendo, Cable TV in each room, bicycles, ability to play sports, new clothes and shoes instead of hand-me-downs, our own beds each (and personal bedding with our favorite show/character), stuff like that. We also had to maintain two vehicles for the family, neither of which was ever a "new vehicle", except the one time my dad took my mom to the dealership to pick HER new car out; He felt she needed the new car before he did...and my father continued to drive used trade-ins still to this day.
The Army is able to provide that 'substandard' furniture for the Barracks everywhere on every Post BECAUSE it is cheap or donated. It's also because the Army doesn't want your ass pampered if it can help it. The married soldier has that leeway to provide pampered furniture for their famliy if they so choose to spend their money that way for their sake...they also get the luxury of enjoying that purchase whilst at home. I hate wool blankets, but for the sake of standards in the Barracks and uniformity, I'll sleep under that wool blanket on that tiny pad of a bed so little Jimmy at Sgt Smith's house can wrap up under Superman sheets and comforter on an actual mattress. Married BAH is only possible because it isn't provided at such a higher rate for everyone. The budget is only so big, and some people get the crappy end of the stick while others get the better end in order for it to work. I'd rather some get the goods than nobody at all.
Rewind back to the year before my younger brother was born. My mother miscarried what would have been my younger brother of 3 years my junior. My father was due for deployment in Desert Storm. He was set and ready to report in, but was told by his CO "Go home and be with your wife, she needs you more than we do. We got this Chief." I believe if anything out of this post would reach out to the singles most, it's probably this one.
The married ones have two fronts to fight on, and really do not get what the singles know as "free time". For a married service member, with kids, "Free-time" is not a thing; us little shits didn't understand that in our youth. I understood it best towards the end of my father's career, and I understand it completely now, and wish I could have thanked him for his job well done all those years ago.
So, next time you as one of those 'single soldiers' hears "Married soldiers, dismissed! Single soldiers, stand fast for more duty", what you are doing is picking up some extra slack for their sakes, because when they get home, they have their own 'equipment' to PMCS and clean and their own 'personnel' to attend to, and they don't always understand why 'mommy' or 'daddy' isn't excited to be home the second they see them (many can be excited the moment they get home, but not all; some put on the face to hide it, and some stopped trying to hide it long ago). Being a married soldier is BRUTAL! They are not afforded enough hours in a day to be part of their family AND stay 5-7 hours after the day's training/Op/duty to grind it out next to you single soldiers.
The single soldiers suffer the extra burden for the marrieds BECAUSE they need your help to do that and YOU are able to get it done. I won't tell you to suck it up or quit bitchin, but instead silently (or openly, your choice) echo those words of my father's CO for all those marrieds out there at end of formation: "Go home and be with your family, they need you more than we do. We got this!".
Before I reveal this bigger picture, I must qualify my opinion on this subject: I have the perspective of all 3 points of view on this subject.
1. I am the second son of my father, SCPO Bob Baker Sr., USN RET (30yrs). My father retired just prior to my turning 16 years old. I have the perspective of what a married Service member has to deal with on a DAILY basis from little assholes like us, and the storm that brews from the spouse just before a phone call gets placed to speak to their service member while on duty. Mind you, our family didn't have cell phones of ANY kind until the last couple years of my father's service, and being AO he didn't have it on person while on duty.
2. I enlisted RA the day I turned 18, and lived in the barracks. I was part of that group that did not get extra 'privilege' for being married. I did not complain, because I understood that is just the way things are.
3. I am now Disabled, married, and a father to my 9-year-old. I work a full-time job, and have no choice but to have my phone in my pocket on vibrate all day or all night (I often work graveyards). I get texts and calls pretty often. I am intimately familiar with the burden and responsibilities of being not only a spouse but also being a parent.
So, hopefully I haven't yet lost any of you reading this, because I promise my point and the bigger picture is next.
After having lived (and still living a part of) this subject material, I have come to this conclusion: Yes. The Military DOES treat married servicemembers with more favor and leeway, but I know all too well that what those service members DO get in preferential treatment and leeway still comes nowhere near enough for what they must endure on a constant, DAILY basis when their day is done.
I had to share a bedroom with my 2 brothers on a regular basis. Whilst my father was a Chief, he was given orders to Whidbey Island in Washington State. We all moved and rented a home in my mother's home town to be close to family. My father received a last-minute change to San Diego, and my younger brother wasn't even a year old yet. My dad did what most NEVER do; he flew back and forth to work and home from time to time to be with us, while he looked for a new home for us in San Diego. Thankfully, our landlord was understanding of our predicament, and let us break lease penalty-free.
We didn't own our own home until my father made SCPO (E-8 for those that don't know Navy). During that first year, we were having to drink powdered milk and juice from those huge cans. I hated that crap. It sucked, but that was the price of having a home to own and giving the older brother his own room (he was 13 years old then, myself 9, and my younger brother 5).
Furniture of choice? We never got the chance to own our own brand-new couch for quite the longest time. Beds and dressers as well; much of it was acquired from swap-meets, second-hand stores, garage sales, and hand-me-downs. Also, my mother worked part- to three-quarter-time to make sure we made ends-meet each week. We shopped commissary, I remember those days well. We did this in order to grant us little brats our ammenities we got to enjoy: Nintendo, Cable TV in each room, bicycles, ability to play sports, new clothes and shoes instead of hand-me-downs, our own beds each (and personal bedding with our favorite show/character), stuff like that. We also had to maintain two vehicles for the family, neither of which was ever a "new vehicle", except the one time my dad took my mom to the dealership to pick HER new car out; He felt she needed the new car before he did...and my father continued to drive used trade-ins still to this day.
The Army is able to provide that 'substandard' furniture for the Barracks everywhere on every Post BECAUSE it is cheap or donated. It's also because the Army doesn't want your ass pampered if it can help it. The married soldier has that leeway to provide pampered furniture for their famliy if they so choose to spend their money that way for their sake...they also get the luxury of enjoying that purchase whilst at home. I hate wool blankets, but for the sake of standards in the Barracks and uniformity, I'll sleep under that wool blanket on that tiny pad of a bed so little Jimmy at Sgt Smith's house can wrap up under Superman sheets and comforter on an actual mattress. Married BAH is only possible because it isn't provided at such a higher rate for everyone. The budget is only so big, and some people get the crappy end of the stick while others get the better end in order for it to work. I'd rather some get the goods than nobody at all.
Rewind back to the year before my younger brother was born. My mother miscarried what would have been my younger brother of 3 years my junior. My father was due for deployment in Desert Storm. He was set and ready to report in, but was told by his CO "Go home and be with your wife, she needs you more than we do. We got this Chief." I believe if anything out of this post would reach out to the singles most, it's probably this one.
The married ones have two fronts to fight on, and really do not get what the singles know as "free time". For a married service member, with kids, "Free-time" is not a thing; us little shits didn't understand that in our youth. I understood it best towards the end of my father's career, and I understand it completely now, and wish I could have thanked him for his job well done all those years ago.
So, next time you as one of those 'single soldiers' hears "Married soldiers, dismissed! Single soldiers, stand fast for more duty", what you are doing is picking up some extra slack for their sakes, because when they get home, they have their own 'equipment' to PMCS and clean and their own 'personnel' to attend to, and they don't always understand why 'mommy' or 'daddy' isn't excited to be home the second they see them (many can be excited the moment they get home, but not all; some put on the face to hide it, and some stopped trying to hide it long ago). Being a married soldier is BRUTAL! They are not afforded enough hours in a day to be part of their family AND stay 5-7 hours after the day's training/Op/duty to grind it out next to you single soldiers.
The single soldiers suffer the extra burden for the marrieds BECAUSE they need your help to do that and YOU are able to get it done. I won't tell you to suck it up or quit bitchin, but instead silently (or openly, your choice) echo those words of my father's CO for all those marrieds out there at end of formation: "Go home and be with your family, they need you more than we do. We got this!".
One of the main reasons I ets'd. I had a place off post(that I paid for myself) but still had to maintain a place in my barracks. 4 to a room, no kitchen, community bathrooms, GI party every Sunday afternoon. That's just the way it was. I knew what I was getting into when I signed up so no real grounds to complain.
When something doesn't seem to make sense, you bet your ass someone somewhere is benefiting from it. Find that and you have your answer as to why it wont ever be changed to make sense or be more fair.
And yes, if you are a leader and you have made an excuse as to why its okay to treat soldiers poorly, you are a poor leader. Soldiers are not toys you can play with and discard when you are done, they are people and unless they are being punished for wrong doing, don't deserve to be punished for joining the military.
And yes, if you are a leader and you have made an excuse as to why its okay to treat soldiers poorly, you are a poor leader. Soldiers are not toys you can play with and discard when you are done, they are people and unless they are being punished for wrong doing, don't deserve to be punished for joining the military.
Somebody else getting something doesn't mean you are being deprived of it, IMO. You get what you get, and you should decide whether you are willing to serve under those terms. If yes, you are good to go. If no, don't reenlist. Nothing to do what the married guy gets, or what the doctor who enlisted gets, or what the person who served on the other base gets.
There are a lot of factors that can get you more pay, if you enlisted because you hoped for good compensation.
There are a lot of factors that can get you more pay, if you enlisted because you hoped for good compensation.
These are issues to be taken up with command. FT Riley KS, 1976.Ww had a commander who told us that the barracks were our home and within common sense limits, we were allowed to buy our own furniture and decorate the rooms however we wanted. We were to look on inspections as nothing more the the rights of the landlord seeing to it that his property was being kept up. This system worked. We never failed a barracks inspection.
Parking-The only reserved parking area I ever saw was one spot for the commander, and one spot for the 1SG or CSM.
Parking-The only reserved parking area I ever saw was one spot for the commander, and one spot for the 1SG or CSM.
I have been both. A single soldier is responsible for himself/herself. A married soldier is not. Just the way it is. Life’s not fair. Deal with it. That goes for you too CPT.
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