Posted on Jan 6, 2016
SPC(P) Delcina Myers
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UPDATE 02/12/2021

WOW! This thread really blew up! And people are still commenting (some ruthless) for the past 5 years, so an official update and hopefully this thread dies down, like, completely.

I finally obtained an IST after a year of trying. State of Indiana never sent my paperwork to Missouri, so I had to call IG to figure out what was going on (that's how I found out that Indiana never sent my paperwork - I wasn't showing up on Missouris' roster, and Indiana wasn't showing me on theirs either, just that I had been discharged from Indiana NG). 3 weeks after the phone call, I was officially in the Missouri ARNG. I drilled faithfully for the remaining 4-5 years, and ETS'd in February 2020. I also had a hysterectomy that same month, and I do feel much better now. The previous November I had my miracle baby, as you can read in the update following this one. He is now 15 months old, and my pride and joy.

To clear the air a bit: No, I was NOT receiving pay while I was AWOL - that comment meant I didn't want to lose the money I COULD BE EARNING while drilling faithfully.

I plead my case to my Commander, 1SG, PS and new SL (he was team leader before this stupid mishap). The NCO that told me I was being discharge DID own up to his mistake. A case of mistaken identity (there was another girl in the unit that it was meant for - we looked a lot alike. A unit of that size, I can understand the mistake, however, I guess I should have stated who I was and maybe all of this wouldn't have happened). Also with that being said, I was never previously discharged before, so I didn't know about the paperwork needing to be signed. ALSO with that note, I still haven't received anything about my recent discharge/ETS as of yet, and it has been a year.

Since I had paperwork with me upon my return, it helped my case. Everything from the miscarriage until my doctors release. After the miscarriage, I did supply my unit with a doctors note - that must have been lost in a pile and never submitted, therefore my unit couldn't process an "in-house medical leave" as some could call it, profile, whatever the case. My then Squad leader didn't even pass on the message of my being in the hospital after my miscarriage, as it was the Friday before drill. One would think he would have the brain capacity to do so - no.

I had a very large fibroid on my uterus. I lost my baby when I was 14 weeks pregnant, but registering as I was almost 20 weeks pregnant. 2 weeks prior to the miscarriage, the tumor, as I called it, and the baby were fighting each other for survival. For those who don't understand fibroids, it's basically a mass of cells (benign, non cancerous) that survives off of blood flow, and so does a baby/fetus. The tumor was dying, and so it was trying to fight to survive. It caused excruciating pain, almost paralyzing pain, and honestly, the way Indianas' healthcare system is set up, I couldn't receive the treatment I needed. I had already known about the fibroid a good 3 years prior to this, and upon being assigned a General MD (until 36 weeks pregnant, then the pregnant woman gets referred to an OB/GYN for the remainder of her pregnancy - no choosing a doctor in this instance), but no one was listening to me when I stated that I would be high risk until it was too late. Due to this nature, my uterus wasn't shrinking like a normal one would - prolonging my healing. I did communicate with my SL during this time, he would say "Just keep me posted", not knowing he wasn't passing the message on. Finally I received release paperwork from my doctor, and I immediately went straight to my unit to give them said paperwork, and that is when the NCO told me the "bad news". I was being discharged. So, what I'm curious about, is why you all say I should have given them my phone number or address after being told about the "discharge"? In my mind, I was getting out. No need for future correspondence. Thank god for Facebook, huh? A non-acceptable form of communication really did work out in the end. I honestly don't know why it took the new SL to get ahold of me, I still wonder to this day, but I'm honestly not going to lose sleep over it.

Times were getting tough for us, my then boyfriend/now Husband relocating for work, and us not knowing anyone, no babysitter for the older kids caused us to move to Missouri so we could be with my aging father and take care of him/him take care of us kind of deal. I didn't think giving my old unit my new forwarding address or phone number mattered, as I "thought" I was being discharged. However, if all that didn't happen, I do believe I would still be in that wretched state (can you guys tell I despise Indiana? I was born there, moved her to Missouri in 1996, and moved to Indiana to be close to my biological dad after my mom passed in 2013, AND hopefully get free of my abusive ex-husband (yes, it worked), where I met my current husband). Ironically, 2 weeks prior to our move to Indiana, I ran into my PS at the restaurant I worked at, and he didn't even seem to know about my miscarriage (which should have thrown flags up by his confused look) and he DID come back for me once he realized I was still on their roster, however we had already moved at that time. So yes, he did try.

SOOO... I think that sums it up.

PLEASE, for all things holy, do not respond to this thread.. It is very old, and it gets tiring repeating myself to new comments (which, hopefully with this update being first on the list, you guys won't need to comment).

Was I a crappy soldier? I don't think so. I always did what was asked of me, within reason. Did I stop caring after being AWOL for a year and coming back? Yes. I know I probably didn't "deserve" respect, perse as far what had happened, but there should be a line as to how to treat a soldier no matter what their APFT score is, their height/weight, etc. Some of the leadership in that unit really sucked, and some of those leaders treated others like shite no matter their stance in the unit....

For instance: a PV2 that never had a passing PT test was able to be team leader before a SPC. Doesn't make sense, does it? I'm not sure what the term is... Hazing, maybe? Bullying definitely. Belittling in front of others, etc. that happened quite a bit. Thats not professionalism. So yes, I stopped caring. Because I was the target. From my own squad leader. No matter what had happened, I didn't deserve that. I could have easily taken a dishonorable being so many states away, but I didn't. I went back and tried my hardest to be a good soldier, 12 hour drive one way. There was even a time that I VOLUNTEERED to be on door guard duty for someone so s/he could use the latrine and get something to eat, to NOT be released the entire day and watching all the other platoons and companies of the Battalion be released to go home. No relief. I got a phone call when I was on my way home asking where I was at, and that "You weren't relieved of your duties, you need to come back" My response? "We were released" to be told "No, the unit was released. You were not." Shit ass unit. Sorry for my language. Once I got my IST I never looked back. Even my new unit had to un-f*ck my paperwork that was sent over. The new unit treated me like I was family, like a unit should (IMHO).

Thank you all for reading the new update. Things are going very well for me. So well in fact, that an injury I sustained in BCT/AIT 14 years ago is now being reviewed for VA Disability. Tinnitus was approved, just waiting on the others.



UPDATE 11/15

Since so many people have been responding to this 3 year old thread, and not really reading updated comments, here is an official update:

So, when I returned to my old unit, I have medical documentation, and also provided insight on the miscarriage and baby as well. He would’ve been born with Trisomy 13, which also gives a short life span as well, so in my eyes the miscarriage is kind of a blessing. My commander and 1SG were informed of what happened, made copies of my medical documents, and asked what I wanted. I requested to stay in (since I was originally looking at a hardship discharge due to the pregnancy in the first place, since I was no longer pregnancy and physically/mentally stable, I requested to stay in). At this time, I had an actual discharge packet at state for being unsat, and my CO informed me that if she could pull it then she will, but if not then it would go through and I would receive a general discharge. The following Monday I received an email stating that she successfully pulled the packet.

From then on (that is January 2016) until August, I continued to drive 12 hours one way to drill; I had to miss in July due to family reasons, but I’m August I went up early to make up the July drill. When I was an hour away, I called to make sure someone would be there, so I could sleep in the armory. At this time, I was asked if I wanted to do an IST, I said yes. I was also informed that my July drill had been excused (more non communication from my CoC- go figure). That following September, I was drilling with a new unit in my current HOR state. That unit was scheduled to deploy to Cuba the following summer. I wanted to go. However, my transfer wasn’t complete at that time, come to find out, Indiana has discharged me from their records (so Missouri could pick me up), but never sent the paperwork. From July until September 2017, I was in Limbo - not actively drilling because “I didn’t exist” in ANY states records. I called IG, and within 3 weeks I was on the roster to a different unit (the one I was trying to deploy with had already left, so I found another unit). Currently still in said unit, and on good drilling status.

Since I couldn’t go to Cuba in 2017, there was another unit scheduled to deploy May of this year to Kuwait. I wanted to go as well. And my name was actually on the roster to deploy.

Why didn’t I?

I found out I was pregnant in february; and on 11/3 I delivered a healthy, beautiful baby boy. My miracle finally happened! I had a rough beginning of pregnancy, when I was 6 weeks I went to the ER due to severe cramping (thought I was having a miscarriage again); doctor said it was a blighted ovum (Empty sac) because my HCG/PH levels weren’t as high as they should’ve been. So I went home, waiting to pass the fetus. A week went by, and still nothing.

Come to find out, I was a week behind. So instead of being 6 weeks at that time, I was actually 5 weeks. I still have the tumor, and in the spring time everything will be taken out.

And yes, the fibroid has and still is registering me as pregnant, by the measurement guide. When I was pregnant, I started out measuring at 12 weeks; towards the end I was only a week ahead (measuring).

No, I was not receiving pay while I was absent, and the “warrant” for my arrest was a ploy to get me back, which he didn’t have to threaten with and lie about. I would’ve been back to drill that May if they had informed me of my actual status; but honestly, why would I keep in communication with a unit that is discharging me, and telling me I no longer have to show up? In my eyes, I was done. That unit wasn’t my favorite, so I’m not gonna go back and talk to people like they were my teachers from High School, post graduation.

I had a miscarriage last January, and by not healing quick enough my former Readiness NCO told me that I was being discharged (In April). This past December, My "new" squad leader had gotten ahold of me via Facebook and let me know what was going on, if I didn't show up then I was going to be arrested, et cetera.

What I don't understand, is why didn't my platoon sergeant tell me that I was still on the roster when I saw him in August? I have moved two states away since then, and now I have to travel 12+hours to go to drill.

I need help, I don't know what to do, say, et cetera. I'm in the National Guard, and I was told long ago that article 15 can't be given to National Guard soldiers due to just being one weekend a month. Honestly, I'm scared. I waited a long time to get E4, and I don't want to lose it, nor my pay because I'm hurting as it is.

Any questions, just ask. But I really need advice. I plan on showing up for drill, and I don't want to be discharged, but a part of me thinks this is a set up to arrest me, which apparently there is a warrant for my arrest, and I don't know how to look that up either.

Thankyou.
Posted in these groups: Army-national-guard-logo Army National Guard
Edited 3 mo ago
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1SG Claims Assistant
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Edited >1 y ago
OOOHH BOY. Talk about a case study in crummy leadership.
I sincerely wish you well after what must have been a tough loss. I can't even imagine what that was like. Now let's peel the onion.

First, you are doing the right thing by going to drill. You are your own best advocate.

Second, telling you that you will be separated is very different from being separated. There is an official notification that gets sent to you by official, certified mail informing you of your commander's intent and apprising you of your rights. If that didn't happen, then your UNSAT packet went nowhere.

Third, while you can't be issued an Article 15 unless you were on Title 10 orders, more than likely your unit had an AT that you didn't go to, and missing that can bring punitive action. The commander could also reduce you administratively. Once again, going there and explaining the situation will get you far.

Fourth, if you want to continue to serve, you should pursue a unit to unit transfer to somewhere closer to home.

Now, as a senior NCO, I have a lot of red-butt about this.
Your unit is pretty jacked up for neither communicating with you nor following through on an UNSAT discharge. Chances are, their ineptitude will work in your favor, but it is still pretty chewed up.

You are definitely not in the right either. You are obligated to inform your unit you had moved, that you were pregnant, and that the pregnancy ended. At least some of that doesn't look like it happened.

Now you have a chance to turn the page and get back on track.
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CSM Jim Corrin
CSM Jim Corrin
6 mo
Right on target, 1SG
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PV2 Duane Schlender
PV2 Duane Schlender
5 mo
Even as an E2, I would have done exactly what is stated above here. I can not imagine anyone NOT covering their butt and making sure everything is on the level. Crossing every T, dotting every I. To not do so, in my opinion, furthers and advances the above issues.
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SGT James (Mike) White
SGT James (Mike) White
5 mo
Great advise I am not sure why you had not been communicating with your 1st Sargent on your absence but I would recommend you follow the above advise. Best wishes on your recovery.
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CW4 Charles Dawson
CW4 Charles Dawson
5 mo
Good advice on a "screwed-up situation", that should have been avoided with some good leadership.
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CMSgt Socom J2/Tsoc Reserve Program Manager
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As a human, I am immensely sorry to hear of your loss. You have my full sympathy.

As a Chief/SNCO, I feel as I do not know all the facts here. One statement is puzzling me. "I waited a long time to get E4, and I don't want to lose it, nor my pay because I'm hurting as it is..." Didn't you already resign to the fact that you lost both of these by not showing up for a year? If you hadn't followed up on formal discharge paperwork nor assured your own attendance, these things appear to be low priority to you anyway.
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SGT Lawrence Johnson
SGT Lawrence Johnson
9 mo
You have to take blame for this one not following up
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PV2 Duane Schlender
PV2 Duane Schlender
4 mo
That does seem to be the case.... spot on facts.
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PO2 Kenneth Barker
PO2 Kenneth Barker
3 mo
looks to me like there was some irresponsibility here on her part, maybe some ignorance too of military practice. I hope, for her sake, that she learns some valuable lessons and continue her military career.
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PO2 Kenneth Barker
PO2 Kenneth Barker
3 mo
Not PO2. I'm age 79, served aboard USS Constellation (CVA 64) (plankowner) 1961-'64. Honorably discharged as IC2nd class, Vietnam vet.
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SGT Project Engineer
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I am trying to be sympathetic here, but this is how I see it.

If you have not been discharged, you are still a soldier. It IS your units job to keep track of you, but YOU have an obligation to keep your unit in the loop while you are on the books. You cannot just up and move from the state without letting your unit know. You have been in, what it looks like, for a long time - you should know the rules.

I am sorry for what happened to you outside the Army, but you have been without contact with your unit for a year... I am surprised if they would let you back in.
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SPC Tim Cook
SPC Tim Cook
>1 y
SSG Matthew Koehler - I was NG for 8 years. I got a DD 214 when I got out.
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SFC Barbara Layman
SFC Barbara Layman
10 mo
SPC Tim Cook - "I was NG for 8 years. I got a DD 214 when I got out."

As a former AGR HR Specialist, in the ARNG (5.5 years), UNLESS SOMETHING HAS CHANGED, as my service was some years ago, your receipt of a DD 214 was in error. A NGB Form 22 should have been issued. The only folks who get a DD 214 are Active Duty folks - all branches. One exception might be the USAR AGR soldier.
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SGT David Schrader
SGT David Schrader
5 mo
SFC Barbara Layman -
As a former active duty soldier , Army National Guard, and Army Reservist,I had received all of the of the above separation papers.
However, if you were deployed while serving in the National Guard you would have been a DD-214 upon completion of your deployment,
If you were given a discharge, you should have been issued an actual discharge certificate. I wish you well and hope that your situation has been resolved.
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SFC Barbara Layman
SFC Barbara Layman
5 mo
SGT David Schrader - Nothing to be resolved. you missed an important point in my remarks "... UNLESS SOMETHING HAS CHANGED, as my service was some years ago, ..."
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