"I never wanted to talk about what happened to me"

Michael Corso joined the Navy just after high school. He grew up in an unstable home, a survivor of child abuse. In the Navy, Michael saw an opportunity to start anew. He would travel the world and maybe find a new kind of family.

A self-described loner when he joined, Michael found the structure and routine of the military grounding. He gained confidence in himself through his job as a Personnelman 3rd class, and also socially. “The Navy really helped me come out of myself and to try to make friends and acquaintances.”

One of those friendships went terribly wrong. “I think somehow he could tell something about me that I wouldn't do anything about it. He was right.” That “friend” sexually assaulted Michael, and that event changed Michael forever.

Today, VA statistics show that 1 in 50 enlisted men and 1 in 3 women report experiencing MST (military sexual trauma). The effects can be devastating. Michael remembers, “I was scared. He was still on the ship… I lost all that feeling of safety when that happened to me. I lost a family.”

Michael didn’t report. “There's that mindset that we should be able to handle things on our own. But this was something I couldn't handle, and I didn't feel like there was anybody I could talk to.” His self-confidence was profoundly shaken in the years that followed. “I wasn't able to have any close, intimate relationships for many, many years…I pretty much stayed alone and didn't understand who I was or who I was supposed to be.”

Michael stumbled into a marriage and started a family. He struggled with the continued impact of the MST on his sense of security and his ability to connect with others. The tipping point came when a coworker told him to get some help. Michael turned to the VA where he was diagnosed with PTSD and entered into an MST program. “Hearing that other men tell their story helped me understand that it was okay for me to start talking about it and get the right treatment.”

The marriage didn’t survive, but today Michael is close with his children. “They know about everything that's happened and they still love me. That's a good feeling.” And his life has taken another positive turn. “I'm now happily married to this amazing person and the person happens to be a guy. It doesn't mean that everybody that goes through MST is gay, but for me, through all the counseling and everything, it helped me see that maybe I needed to look at that part of my life. It was a good look and a good experience.”

Sharing his story has helped Michael become more comfortable with himself and with others. Today, he’s a Peer Specialist at the VA. “I have no problem telling my story. I know I'm helping someone else, but I also realize how far I’ve come.”

Visit AboutFace to learn about MST and PTSD from Veterans who have been there: https://rly.pt/3sklf4D