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As leaders, we should automatically respect our subordinates at all times. There is a stark difference between leadership and dictatorship. As soon as the leaders in the military figure this out, they will notice a peak in the retention rate of their Soldiers.
I have communicated with over 300 Soldiers who are eligible to extend their enlistment contract within the past few months and was shocked to hear the responses from some of them. One Soldier mentioned, “I would remain in the military but cannot understand why I’m getting cursed out when asked to do something. I am a grown man!” I asked this same Soldier if he’d discuss with his leaders the disrespect he feels and he said that he had spoken with them about it. My final question to him was, “So what did they say?” He replied, “They said that I am a Soldier and if I can’t handle it, get out!”
As a leader myself, I apologized to this Soldier and informed him that some leaders are called leaders because of their position or title, not because of their leadership. I then annotated in the retention book that he was not going to extend his contract but instead, leave the military because of the disrespect from his leadership.
Must a Soldier be a Chaplain to get respected? Can a Soldier who informs his or her chain of command that the speaking of profanity is against their religion be provided the same respect that a chaplain receives? Should fellow Soldiers respect these Soldiers? To me, the answer is quite simple. We should.
I am one of these Soldiers. I am a non-paid minister at a local church. The Soldiers who are aware of this duty respect the fact I am a Soldier and a minister. I've expressed to others that I would like for them to be themselves while in my presence, as I would perceive unrealism if they would change their talk, speech, or attitude just because I was standing around in the vicinity. Some disagreed but others said okay and would use profanity as if I’m not around. It didn’t then and doesn’t bother me a bit. However, there might be Soldiers that are affected by vulgar and demeaning language and I believe this should be respected.
If smoking a cigarette around a non-smoker is a sign of disrespect, I believe using profanity around a non-profanity speaker falls within the same guidelines if the Soldier speaks up. Leaders must understand that profanity can be damning to a lot of people. The “F” word has been known to cause havoc, begin fights, and unfortunately result in someone being killed. To tell a Soldier to deal with the disrespect because you're a Soldier is unacceptable.
This is not a new Army. Respect began when the Army began.
I have communicated with over 300 Soldiers who are eligible to extend their enlistment contract within the past few months and was shocked to hear the responses from some of them. One Soldier mentioned, “I would remain in the military but cannot understand why I’m getting cursed out when asked to do something. I am a grown man!” I asked this same Soldier if he’d discuss with his leaders the disrespect he feels and he said that he had spoken with them about it. My final question to him was, “So what did they say?” He replied, “They said that I am a Soldier and if I can’t handle it, get out!”
As a leader myself, I apologized to this Soldier and informed him that some leaders are called leaders because of their position or title, not because of their leadership. I then annotated in the retention book that he was not going to extend his contract but instead, leave the military because of the disrespect from his leadership.
Must a Soldier be a Chaplain to get respected? Can a Soldier who informs his or her chain of command that the speaking of profanity is against their religion be provided the same respect that a chaplain receives? Should fellow Soldiers respect these Soldiers? To me, the answer is quite simple. We should.
I am one of these Soldiers. I am a non-paid minister at a local church. The Soldiers who are aware of this duty respect the fact I am a Soldier and a minister. I've expressed to others that I would like for them to be themselves while in my presence, as I would perceive unrealism if they would change their talk, speech, or attitude just because I was standing around in the vicinity. Some disagreed but others said okay and would use profanity as if I’m not around. It didn’t then and doesn’t bother me a bit. However, there might be Soldiers that are affected by vulgar and demeaning language and I believe this should be respected.
If smoking a cigarette around a non-smoker is a sign of disrespect, I believe using profanity around a non-profanity speaker falls within the same guidelines if the Soldier speaks up. Leaders must understand that profanity can be damning to a lot of people. The “F” word has been known to cause havoc, begin fights, and unfortunately result in someone being killed. To tell a Soldier to deal with the disrespect because you're a Soldier is unacceptable.
This is not a new Army. Respect began when the Army began.
Religion
Respect
Values
Command Post
Edited >1 y ago
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 97
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I agree. I believe that folks should be mindful of their surroundings. I sure am guilty of forgetting that sometimes.
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MSG (Join to see)
SPC (P) Erin Mulder, it sounds like you are aware of the possibility. With this awareness, you're going to be ok. It's those who do not think it's a big deal or just don't care what others think who will have the issues.
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SFC Joe S. Davis Jr., MSM, DSL
Awesome TACT is what Soldiers should learn and respect, on situational issues
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SSG Keven Lahde
SFC Joe S. Davis Jr., MSM, DSL SFC Soldiers who even have that don't really use it or care. They feel they wear the uniform they can talk any way they want too regardless of who is around. Kind of a shame really.
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Bottom line is respect. Profanity does not promote respect. It is not professional. I've been in a number of units lots of females at all levels to only female in the section, only 1-3 females in a Platoon, 1 of 4 in a company to were I have been the only female in the HHB, in a FA command. You have to understand the environment. "This is Bull$#!%" and "You are Bull$#!%" are two different things. No problem with the first but issues with the latter. Religion has nothing to do with it. I think we all use profanity from time to to time. The problem arise when you are not able to articulate yourself without it.
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MSG (Join to see)
Respect is earned. While I would agree in part, I think we should not be disrespectful of soldiers, but it is still another story to say they are all deserving of respect. We are the military and there is a level of having to be an adult, and sometimes being an adult means taking criticism and improving and growing from it. If you spend all your time crying about how you were corrected, instead of using that energy correcting your errors, maybe we are better off without that soldier, especially when there are so many soldiers being cut that want to continue to serve.
Respect is earned. While I would agree in part, I think we should not be disrespectful of soldiers, but it is still another story to say they are all deserving of respect. We are the military and there is a level of having to be an adult, and sometimes being an adult means taking criticism and improving and growing from it. If you spend all your time crying about how you were corrected, instead of using that energy correcting your errors, maybe we are better off without that soldier, especially when there are so many soldiers being cut that want to continue to serve.
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MSG (Join to see)
MSG Brad Sand, we'll have to agree to disagree a bit. Respect in the military is automatic once you raise your right hand and speak the oath. It is the third letter of our army values acronym LDRSHIP. Trust is earned. Respect is automatic especially as a leader. Taking criticism is what we as Soldiers do on occasion but being disrespectful to junior Soldier doesn't have anything to do with being an adult. Whether the Specialist is 21 or 35, as a leader, the RESPECT should be there. When I hear a Soldier say things like, "They're an adiult" or "This is the military" it puzzles me. So you're saying that Soldiers need to acccpet the disrespect because they're in the military? I spoke to a CEO of a local company who informed me why he would hire a military peron before hiring anyone else and the first thing he mentioned was, "You guys have the discipline and repect that every workplace needs. He didn't have to tell me this. I knew this already.
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MSG John Wirts
I agree respect does not have to be earned by going into combat, though that if more of a requirement now. But being in the military and subject to call-up, or mobilization, deserves respect. Trust and position have to be earned.
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SPC Brian Aranda
MSG Miles, I have a slight disagreement with your post. Respect for the RANK is automatic, the soldier wearing it (officer or enlisted) is not necessarily the one being respected. A truly effective leader is respected for their position as well as their rank.
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MSG (Join to see)
SPC Brain Aranda, we'll have to agree to disagree as well. In the Army, it's an Army Value. Once you become a leader (SGT) you will receive NCOERS annually. The first page of the NCOER at the bottom will rate you on whether or not you adhered to the Army Values . The rank AND the Soldier should be respected automatically. Now respect can be lost but it should not have to be earned. Trust is earned. I RESPECT your opinion as I do all of my Soldier's opinions. Why? Because I respect them.
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That is an interesting outlook MSG (Join to see). While I do believe that it is your right to curse or not, many forget that there is a time and place. If your "leadership style" is screaming and cursing, then do what you do best; however, I do think that we should be mindful of what others beliefs are. If I have a Marine who asks me to not curse in front of him or her, I try my hardest to not. Yes, I may slip, but at least I am attempting to give that Marine the same respect as an individual that I expect of them. Why should we not value our Marines (insert your service here) beliefs? Respect should go up and down the chain, and everyone should at least attempt to respect the beliefs of your fellow Marines.
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SSgt (Join to see)
Thank you! I just wish more people would realize that it is not lowering your image as a service member if you do not curse "like a sailor."
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SFC Chris Johnson
It's best to save for when it's needed. If you scream and cuss all the time, it loses any impact when it's needed. When the NCO that always stays calm, suddenly is verbally tearing into someone, people shut up and pay attention.
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I think one of the best things that ever happened to me, in addition to becoming a father, was coaching youth sports after I got out of the military. I had no choice but to NOT use profanity with the kids I coached. After awhile I learned it was actually more efficient and effective to not use any profanity in any situation. If you think about it, using the F word for example every other sentence is a waste of time and in the military (or any other walk of life) time is a very valuable commodity.
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MSG (Join to see)
Sir, I like the fact that you never mentioned anything about religion. You mentioned the word valuable. You mentioned more efficient. I would add more professional as well.
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MAJ (Join to see)
MSG Miles, you hit the main points well. Bottom line if you are trying to communicate effectively with ALL of your audience/team/unit/etc., profanity is unnecessary and can be divisive and a distraction. I only wish I figured this out while I wore the uniform. Thanks for brining up this important issue. Maybe some of the SM's will learn something from it.
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MAJ (Join to see)
As an add on, I would say as a leader, challenge yourself to make critical points using different, but effective communication means. As a example, during a Company PCI I told my leadership to make sure every canteen (pre-camel back) was full before we moved out. During the Company PCI I found several bone dry canteens in several different squads. Obviously this was evidence of leadership failure. I went behind the Company and burned each empty canteen into the wall in front of the company formation. The entire formation flinched each time a canteen hit the wall. I did not yell at anyone, cuss or call anyone out in front of the unit. I never had a problem with empty canteens again. Sometimes points need to be made to protect soldiers. I never had a heat casualty in 12 years of leading men. In other words, although I am saying try not to use extreme or excessive profanity, that doesn't mean don't find other creative ways to emphasize important matters.
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It's not a leaders job to coddle an individual. If you're someone that needs constant coddling everytime someone gets loud because you screwed up, you're in the wrong line of work. Quit being a spoiled brat, grow up, and grow some thicker skin or get out and run back to your mommy and your my little ponies...
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MSG (Join to see)
SGT Jamie Barrie, hopefully you respect your Soldiers. Don't demean them because they're junior to you. It's not about coddling. It's not about having thin skin. It's about respect.
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SSG (Join to see)
I absolutely do, MSG. I have compassion and I understand life happens. I try not to be everything that I've learned over the years that I don't like in a leader. I wouldn't tell anyone to do anything that I wouldn't do myself and I don't just pass off tasks and walk away. I get my hands dirty too.
When the situation calls for it, however, I use whatever tone, verbage, and body language I feel that the individual I'm dealing with will respond to.
When the situation calls for it, however, I use whatever tone, verbage, and body language I feel that the individual I'm dealing with will respond to.
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SGT (Join to see)
SGT Newport, the only reason I m downvoting your comment is simply because of the fact you are failing to realize your soldiers strengths and weaknesses. I am not one to armchair quarterback, or second guess your leadership style.
But help me to understand here: your saying that you don t have the time to address individuals differently depending on how they react to it? Isnt that the whole business of being an NCO? Getting a team to work together and playing everyone s strengths and weaknesses in the accomplishment of a goal or furtherance of an objective?
That s all I am saying here. Isn t it worth it to invest however long it would take to explain a position on where you are standing from? Goes a lot farther and faster than just berating a troop or cursing them out because they done put their head up their four points.
Again ladies and gentlemen, I am new to my position. I was a holding an E-5 position in my powertrain shop and oversaw two troops. We were all equal rank and I only got the job because I had more TIG, the expierence, and the know how to get it done.
I am still learning my new position, and its a daily classroom.
But help me to understand here: your saying that you don t have the time to address individuals differently depending on how they react to it? Isnt that the whole business of being an NCO? Getting a team to work together and playing everyone s strengths and weaknesses in the accomplishment of a goal or furtherance of an objective?
That s all I am saying here. Isn t it worth it to invest however long it would take to explain a position on where you are standing from? Goes a lot farther and faster than just berating a troop or cursing them out because they done put their head up their four points.
Again ladies and gentlemen, I am new to my position. I was a holding an E-5 position in my powertrain shop and oversaw two troops. We were all equal rank and I only got the job because I had more TIG, the expierence, and the know how to get it done.
I am still learning my new position, and its a daily classroom.
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While I was on active duty, one of our coworkers who happened to be in a very religious category (church several times a week, zero cursing, no drinking, no smoking, etc.) never complained about our cursing. Out of respect to him we never took the Lords name in vain, but the common cursing vernacular did not offend him. In fact he understood and accepted it as our right to freedom of speech.
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MSG (Join to see)
CPL Kirk Sain, I am so elated that this Soldier/Marine recognized that the military is a place where we make stuff happen or people can die. I feel the same way that he feels. Cursing isn't the issue. Heck, it's expected in the military. My only issue is when it demeans a Soldier/military service-member. There is a distinct difference and if you haven't experienced it yet, hopefully you won't have to. General Ordierno mentioned in a previous post that there are toxic leaders out there that he plans to get rid of. He wasn't referring to those leaders who use profanity, drink, smokes., etc., There are leaders who abuse junior ranking Soldiers. Forget the mentioning of religion. It's just about respecting your fellow Soldier/service-member regardless of his/her rank.
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Cpl (Join to see)
MSG (Join to see) I agree and of course most of us were berated in boot camp. At least those of us that made it into boot before the PC police changed the rules. As a Hollywood Marine, we still referred to our RFTD mountains/hills as Mount Mother F^*%#& and B!^@# Ridge.
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MSG (Join to see)
HOOAH! Well HOORAH! The new boot camps still have those who cannot make it through. I agree that it isn't the same as in 1986 when I went through it.
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To paraphrase Scripture, it is not what goes in to you that makes you unclean, it is what comes out of you.
In other words, you can hear all kinds of filth and profanity, but if it washes off like water over a duck's back, doesn't take root in your heart, and doesn't become part of your behavior, it is not harming you.
In other words, you can hear all kinds of filth and profanity, but if it washes off like water over a duck's back, doesn't take root in your heart, and doesn't become part of your behavior, it is not harming you.
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MSG (Join to see)
1LT Kidwell, well quoted. I stand firm on scripture and this is why profanity doesn't bother me at all. My post began because there are those leaders who demean their subordinates with hostile words just because theyre senior in rank. This should not happen in our well- respected military.
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SP5 Tom Carlson
MSG< I guess that's the point I was trying to make, when a senior NCO or Officer begins with a belittling statement,, his her credibility in my opinion is out the door, try to listen to the order(s) at hand and carry on...
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I was in the US Navy for 12 years. I do agree with your comments on leadership. The Lord Jesus bless you as you minister to others.
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MSG (Join to see)
Thanks PO1 Irwin. It's all about respecting your fellow service member regardless of their rank.
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The sad part of this one way beating lower enlisted Soldiers tend to take from their leaders is that if you respond back in any type of fashion where they felt disrespected then you'd be the one who'd wind up in trouble. It has happened to me numerous times when I was a young Soldier that my leaders cursed me or treated me in an inhumane fashion.
Respect should work both ways, I told myself when I acquire the rank of CPL, SGT and higher that I would always treat my Soldiers the way I wanted to be treated and I stuck to that.
The bad leadership I received did teach me exactly how not to be when I achieved higher rank and responsibility.
Respect should work both ways, I told myself when I acquire the rank of CPL, SGT and higher that I would always treat my Soldiers the way I wanted to be treated and I stuck to that.
The bad leadership I received did teach me exactly how not to be when I achieved higher rank and responsibility.
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MSG (Join to see)
SFC Brian Ewing, we had the same mindset. I observed as PFC through CPL how not to treat Soldiers I would lead.
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