156
156
0
Every year our nation sets aside a day to honor our military who have died in service to our country. For many of us, this day is a tough one as we experience the full range of emotions. Our hearts are filled with great pride and great loss.
No matter how much time has passed, remembering can feel like waves in the ocean. Sometimes the waves of emotion are light and wash up against our ankles, however, there are times when those emotional waves crash into us hard and take our breath away.
Memorial Day impacts us all a little bit differently. I find myself on a roller coaster going from smiling to crying, thinking of the past and also what life might have been.
On Memorial Day, my wife and I join tens of thousands of military families across the United States to honor all our nation’s Fallen Heroes. We honor and remember our two sons who died fighting different battles.
Together with all of our fellow Americans, we honor over 677,000 members of the U.S. military who gave the ultimate sacrifice while bravely serving around the globe since the Civil War.
This Memorial Day, in particular, we are reminded of the fragility and sacredness of human life. In recent months, over 90,000 Americans have died from COVID-19 including over one thousand veterans.
Recent events also remind us that many of our military, both former and currently serving, are fighting to survive two different types of battles.
While many Americans continue social distancing or remain in self-isolation due to COVID-19, experts are warning of a surge in mental health issues. Not only is COVID-19 causing isolation, it also is tightening much needed resources for service members and veterans who rely on treatment for service related Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI).
Scarred by physical and emotional wounds, our veteran population already has a higher suicide rate than the national population, with a rate 1.5 times higher than civilians.
Many of our military and veterans are suffering from wounds you cannot see that can be more serious and deadly than the wounds you can see.
Unfortunately, our family has experienced the tragedy of suicide first-hand. As an ROTC cadet at the University of Kentucky, our son Kevin was studying to be an Army doctor. He was a scholarship student battling depression and stopped taking his medication because he didn’t want the military to know of his illness. When Kevin died, we blamed ourselves for not recognizing the serious warning signs that Kevin’s depression was a true medical illness and not just a sad feeling. We now know that eliminating the stigma and accessing quality treatment is a matter of life and death.
It was around the time of Kevin’s death that the military began experiencing crisis numbers of suicides on military installations where we served. My wife and I dedicated ourselves to opening up the conversation in both the military and civilian world about suicide.
As a retired Major General in the U.S. Army, my mission today is to ensure that any veteran, service member, family member, or caregiver gets the help they need, whenever they have an issue, wherever they are in the world -- before challenges turn into crises. They are not alone.
In many ways, our humble support of service members and veterans who suffer the invisible wounds of war is a way we can honor their comrades who fought and died.
This Memorial Day we respectfully remember with gratitude the hundreds of thousands of men and women who have served our country on the battlefield in countless wars and conflicts.
We remember over 7,000 post-9/11 troops, like our other son Jeff, who was killed by an IED leading a foot patrol in Iraq.
We remember the many generations before Jeff and Kevin who fought and died in the name of freedom.
Retired Army Maj. Gen. Mark Graham is director of Vets4Warriors. Veterans experiencing a mental health emergency can contact the Veteran Crisis Line at [login to see] and select option 1 for a VA staffer. If you want to speak with a peer, call Vets4Warriors at [login to see] , visit http://www.Vets4Warriors.com or follow us on social @Vets4Warriors to learn more.
No matter how much time has passed, remembering can feel like waves in the ocean. Sometimes the waves of emotion are light and wash up against our ankles, however, there are times when those emotional waves crash into us hard and take our breath away.
Memorial Day impacts us all a little bit differently. I find myself on a roller coaster going from smiling to crying, thinking of the past and also what life might have been.
On Memorial Day, my wife and I join tens of thousands of military families across the United States to honor all our nation’s Fallen Heroes. We honor and remember our two sons who died fighting different battles.
Together with all of our fellow Americans, we honor over 677,000 members of the U.S. military who gave the ultimate sacrifice while bravely serving around the globe since the Civil War.
This Memorial Day, in particular, we are reminded of the fragility and sacredness of human life. In recent months, over 90,000 Americans have died from COVID-19 including over one thousand veterans.
Recent events also remind us that many of our military, both former and currently serving, are fighting to survive two different types of battles.
While many Americans continue social distancing or remain in self-isolation due to COVID-19, experts are warning of a surge in mental health issues. Not only is COVID-19 causing isolation, it also is tightening much needed resources for service members and veterans who rely on treatment for service related Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI).
Scarred by physical and emotional wounds, our veteran population already has a higher suicide rate than the national population, with a rate 1.5 times higher than civilians.
Many of our military and veterans are suffering from wounds you cannot see that can be more serious and deadly than the wounds you can see.
Unfortunately, our family has experienced the tragedy of suicide first-hand. As an ROTC cadet at the University of Kentucky, our son Kevin was studying to be an Army doctor. He was a scholarship student battling depression and stopped taking his medication because he didn’t want the military to know of his illness. When Kevin died, we blamed ourselves for not recognizing the serious warning signs that Kevin’s depression was a true medical illness and not just a sad feeling. We now know that eliminating the stigma and accessing quality treatment is a matter of life and death.
It was around the time of Kevin’s death that the military began experiencing crisis numbers of suicides on military installations where we served. My wife and I dedicated ourselves to opening up the conversation in both the military and civilian world about suicide.
As a retired Major General in the U.S. Army, my mission today is to ensure that any veteran, service member, family member, or caregiver gets the help they need, whenever they have an issue, wherever they are in the world -- before challenges turn into crises. They are not alone.
In many ways, our humble support of service members and veterans who suffer the invisible wounds of war is a way we can honor their comrades who fought and died.
This Memorial Day we respectfully remember with gratitude the hundreds of thousands of men and women who have served our country on the battlefield in countless wars and conflicts.
We remember over 7,000 post-9/11 troops, like our other son Jeff, who was killed by an IED leading a foot patrol in Iraq.
We remember the many generations before Jeff and Kevin who fought and died in the name of freedom.
Retired Army Maj. Gen. Mark Graham is director of Vets4Warriors. Veterans experiencing a mental health emergency can contact the Veteran Crisis Line at [login to see] and select option 1 for a VA staffer. If you want to speak with a peer, call Vets4Warriors at [login to see] , visit http://www.Vets4Warriors.com or follow us on social @Vets4Warriors to learn more.
Posted in these groups: 
Memorial Day
Memorial
Vets4Warriors
Operation Iraqi Freedom (OIF)
Coronavirus COVID19
Memorial Day Memorial Vets4Warriors Operation Iraqi Freedom (OIF) Coronavirus COVID19
Edited >1 y ago
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 59
1
1
0
1
1
0
Great words, thank you sir. Each year I participate in fund raising for Carry the Load and 22Kill. I am humbled by the men and women I am surrounded by during the culmination of the events at the Dallas Memorial March each year.
I carry SSG Brian Craig and keep his name and memory alive by my partnership with Carry the Load.
I carry SSG Brian Craig and keep his name and memory alive by my partnership with Carry the Load.
(1)
(0)
1
1
0
Can some one tell me where this cemetery is the reason I know someone with the same family name
(1)
(0)
1
1
0
Such as Regiments hand down forever. Selflessness and sacrifice for the benefit of others and the unit.
(1)
(0)
0
0
0
General Graham, thank you for your service and the service and sacrifice of your sons. As Lincoln wrote to Mrs. Bixby (in part): "I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of Freedom."
On Memorial Day as every other day, I remember the lives and the sacrifice of all my friends who gave their lives in Vietnam, and all those before or since. When I got back from the dedication of the Vietnam Memorial ("The Wall") in 1982 I wrote this:
THE VIETNAM MEMORIAL
In mirror-polished stone
I see myself reflected:
A magic image stretching far
From idealistic innocence
To the I who am today.
Graven names this mirror mar,
A record of the souls who gave.
Who died in daring:
Left me to live
And mourn them.
I never got to say goodbye
In life or at your grave:
You fell and were then lifted home,
While my tears were swept away
In the whirlwind of the battle.
Now, at last, I bid you bye,
And thanks for all you braved;
All my brothers, listed here:
We lesser men came home, but you
Are enshrined in solemn glory.
On Memorial Day as every other day, I remember the lives and the sacrifice of all my friends who gave their lives in Vietnam, and all those before or since. When I got back from the dedication of the Vietnam Memorial ("The Wall") in 1982 I wrote this:
THE VIETNAM MEMORIAL
In mirror-polished stone
I see myself reflected:
A magic image stretching far
From idealistic innocence
To the I who am today.
Graven names this mirror mar,
A record of the souls who gave.
Who died in daring:
Left me to live
And mourn them.
I never got to say goodbye
In life or at your grave:
You fell and were then lifted home,
While my tears were swept away
In the whirlwind of the battle.
Now, at last, I bid you bye,
And thanks for all you braved;
All my brothers, listed here:
We lesser men came home, but you
Are enshrined in solemn glory.
(0)
(0)
0
0
0
0
0
0
MG Graham, there wz a time when Memorial Day wz a day for friends & family to get together, either for a day of fishing or for a cookout. That, of course, wz before I became a Marine. For several yrs after I served & before I learned I could call myself a veteran (only served 79 days but wz honorably discharged), I erroneously honored my husband for having served entire term he signed on for. My circumstances didn't provide me opportunity to learn military history or protocol, so it wzn't 'til nearly 21 yrs ago that I actually learned real purpose of celebrating Memorial Day.
As time progressed, I felt need to honor those brave men & women who were KIA. Eventually, I began including veterans to had come to EOW, more so as I became aware of those who made ultimate sacrifice on battlefield & hadn't come to EOW 'til yrs after they came home. I've become more public about this in past 10.5 yrs, posting ever-growing list commemorating fallen heroes & EOWers on Facebook. Among EOWs I listed my 2d husband who died before social media, my 1st husband who died 2 yrs ago & most recently, my 3d & final husband (my forever husband, who told me from day one of nearly 16 yrs we were together that he wz Vietnam combat veteran & former POW) who died 9 Aug 2019.
I've followed pandemic we're experiencing since Facebook started keeping us up to date. I wz incensed last month, few days before Memorial Day weekend, when I read President Trump's mandate that all federal & government establishments should fly flags half-mast on Memorial day! Prior to his edict, I had brought my flag out of storage to fly at half-mast to honor my forever husband on Memorial Day. Wz so irate that I wz tempted NOT to fly it at all. I couldn't see myself commemorating people whose death IMO he is responsible for, of all days, on a day that has been dedicated to our military heroes for 155 yrs. I fought my feelings, tho, & hoisted my flag as planned.
As time progressed, I felt need to honor those brave men & women who were KIA. Eventually, I began including veterans to had come to EOW, more so as I became aware of those who made ultimate sacrifice on battlefield & hadn't come to EOW 'til yrs after they came home. I've become more public about this in past 10.5 yrs, posting ever-growing list commemorating fallen heroes & EOWers on Facebook. Among EOWs I listed my 2d husband who died before social media, my 1st husband who died 2 yrs ago & most recently, my 3d & final husband (my forever husband, who told me from day one of nearly 16 yrs we were together that he wz Vietnam combat veteran & former POW) who died 9 Aug 2019.
I've followed pandemic we're experiencing since Facebook started keeping us up to date. I wz incensed last month, few days before Memorial Day weekend, when I read President Trump's mandate that all federal & government establishments should fly flags half-mast on Memorial day! Prior to his edict, I had brought my flag out of storage to fly at half-mast to honor my forever husband on Memorial Day. Wz so irate that I wz tempted NOT to fly it at all. I couldn't see myself commemorating people whose death IMO he is responsible for, of all days, on a day that has been dedicated to our military heroes for 155 yrs. I fought my feelings, tho, & hoisted my flag as planned.
(0)
(0)
0
0
0
Thank you Mark and your wife. May God bless you in your new mission. I am terribly sad you lost two sons. Susan Davis Stewart
(0)
(0)
0
0
0
My brother USMC Cpl. George W. Mullins died due to wounds while serving in Vietnam. He had two purple hearts and other medals. I served before my younger brother in the USMC. I had one purple heart. I served with a lot of brave Marines dedicated to the USA. Semper Fi
(0)
(0)
Read This Next
Continue with Facebook 
Continue with Google