The Marines Defend Their Women

I really appreciate all of your feedback.

I have been in the Army for five years. I am a trusting, passive, single, friendly woman. All of that combined...well without going into too much detail, let's just say I'm a friggin subject matter expert on sexual harassment and sexual assault.

This constant pitting men against women in the Army has got to stop.

When you hear guys say they don't even want to talk to females because they'll catch a SHARP complaint. It's important to stop this absurd way of thinking that women are always guilty of this. I promise you, regardless of how well you think you know your friends, if there's an allegation, there's some validity there.
I repeat, usually.

This whole double standard issue of women getting away with stuff that men can't (like forcing males to do the manual labor while females sit and relax), yeah that has to stop too. Females are extremely hard on other females so for example, if a female senior NCO sees me sitting pretty while everybody else is working, you better believe that female is going to chew my butt. In my experience, it's these females who feel they have to prove something who are the ones who do most of the work! I'm the one who has to tell them to let the guys do some work lol.

We women have to stop being so hard on other women too because we're only fostering this separation between sexes. We have to stop degrading each other and stop telling each other that we bring sexual harassment on ourselves. Recognize that we are guilty of sexually harassing men too and put a stop to it.

It's this mentality that it's male versus female soldier that continues to separate us.

For all those politically correct folks, here's your disclaimer: I am speaking generally. I am tracking that males get assaulted and harassed too but I am not a man and I have not experienced that, therefore I don't speak on their behalf.

I worked in a section that was all male....until I came along. Yes, they had hesitation on how to act and talk around me b/c I am a female. Until one day, I told them, that I am a soldier just like they are, they do not need to walk around on eggshells just b/c I work in their section. Those guys were and still are to this day, like brothers to me, they are some of my best friends.

I had never planned on sharing anything in regards to this specific topic. But after seeing your post, I cannot. I served in the USMC in the 1980's. The sexual harassment was something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. It started at my first post with lots of sexual talk and inappropriate touching by one man in particular. I reported it to my Gunny. He told me, "Good luck; it's your word against his." Looking back, I understand his comment. It was my commanding officer I was referring to. I was strongly advised not to pursue anything, and I didn't. Later oversees, I was told by an NCO (after telling him no when he asked me out) that basically all I was good for was being barefoot and pregnant, and mopping floors. Did I report that? No. After all it was just talk. And with a few other corporals and sergeants listening and not putting him in check, it wouldn't go anywhere. I was wrong. One corporal reported it. The others went after him and nothing was done. At my next duty station I was raped by an officer in the Air force. Being drunk, telling him no, and crying/begging him not to apparently meant yes to him. I was too afraid and ashamed to report it. I mean, after all, I was drunk. I must of had it coming. At my last post, stationed with the military police, I started receiving numerous phone calls at the barracks from a guy saying some pretty horrible stuff, sexual in nature and aggressively threatening. I was not the only one he was asking for by name. There were a few other women in the barracks he was requesting to speak to. This time I reported it to CID since other women could substantiate what was occurring. They ended up finding the guy. He was a Staff Sergeant, Military Police officer, married with children, in my battalion. No office hours or court martial. He was not even removed from his position as a police officer. Over the years, I have rarely shared these events (and more) with others. People don't get it. While serving, I was told to "suck it up, that's what Marines do." And I did... for many many years. A couple of years ago I was watching a rape scene on TV and totally lost it. That finally pushed me into doing something about it. A Gunny I served with told me about this documentary called "The Invisible War." He had heard about the movie from other female Marines and said it was worth watching. I found it on YouTube and watched it. I discovered I was not alone, and what had happened to me was not uncommon (I later wrote a paper on this topic and found that out of all the branches in the military, the Marine Corps has the highest % of rapes). After seeing an amazing therapist, I have been able to heal. My therapist is amazed that regardless of what happened to me while serving, I am still proud to call myself a Marine. I still took more good than bad from my experience in the Corps. I don't expect others, especially civilians, to understand that. I refuse to remain a victim of my past any longer, and the shame is gone. In hindsight, I wish I had had more inner strength to do more, but I was young, and it was a different time. I recently obtained my bachelors (even at my old age), and had the opportunity to work with disabled vets during two of my internships. What an amazing experience! I hope to eventually find work helping military vets/active duty with various types of disabilities. And folks, it took a lot for me to post this, so please don't be too harsh if you have opposing views.

It's not the whole army it depends on the unit your unit has to have cohesion no cohesion no protecting each other. At my unit we watch out for each other, I can't recall how many times I have had "women" tell me they like being around me because they feel safe and protected. Now I don't know if it is just me or the rest of the men in the unit that give that secure feeling to them or not, but it still proves no cohesion no protection. Your unit is what you make it no more no less.

As an artilleryman for 19 yrs, I can almost count without running out of fingers the number of female Marines I've personally been aquainted with, since they're just now being allowed in arty MOS's. But even the tough cannoneers who gripe about the gunline being no place for a woman, when in a situation where they work with a female Marine, like in supply or admin, treat her like thier own little sister. Maybe not the most professional at all times, and give her a hard time, but at the end of the day, if any one outside the unit messes with her, they'll have hell to pay. I hope that guy that got carried out of that female Marine's room got the ever-loving sh!t beat out of him, and no one got caught... policing our own, as it should be. Semper Fidelis... always faithful. To each other and to our Corps. That's just the way it is.

It makes me sad and ashamed of my fellow Soldiers to hear her say this of her experience. If we won't take care of our own, then we're lost as a service.

I have to say I am honestly blown away by all the comments here. I joined in 1988 and I will tell you even back then if I would have heard of anything like this I would have beat the living s**t out of the perpetrator. This never should have been tolerated and thankfully it seems we as a military and as a nation are getting better at punishing this.

No, it is not sexist for you to think that fellow Soldiers should stand up for women. Regardless of gender, race, age, or sexual preference, any person in uniform is, or should be considered family first! That is the way it is in the Marine Corps. We all need to learn to take care of ourselves because no one else will! There is no race, gender or any of that crap in uniform...we are all green, blue, and in the case of the infantry...just plain dirty with mud, sand and filth. Regardless, we are all family. We should all strive to protect one another. We have a duty and a mission higher than ourselves when we join the military. It is unfortunate that there is not that cohesion in all branches, and it is sad that this conversation has to come to light!

We don't defend our women, we just defend our fellow Marines. We'll fight with each other over anything and everything (trust me my roommate and I put a hole in a wall at our shop after we argued whose dad our Maintenance Officer was), but as soon as we see a Marine in trouble be it one in our unit or one that we just happen to see in trouble we will fight like hell to protect them even if we don't like them personally. There's a definite reason people describe Marines by saying "There is no better friend... and no worse enemy than a United States Marine."

As fellow humans, and soldiers, we have a duty to watch each others' six. I feel that there is a stigma, while I don't agree with it, with female soldiers. The problem is that most male soldiers feel that it is unfair that women want to be treated on the same level as males, yet do not have the same standards. For instance, women want to be a part of the infantry, but do not share the same pt standards, or height and weight standards. This is why I think there are a lot of those soldiers out there that aren't quick to react. Not saying it is right, just what I think the issue is.