Posted on Mar 24, 2014

Pros and cons of having both spouses in ths service

SSG Jason Hoadley

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I am trying to get some opinions on this.

I married young and to someone that held a fairly negative view of the military, because her father was severly injured during Vietnam.

That marriage didnt work out. Many Factors involved in the decsion to get a divorce..

My second marriage,

She was enamored with the military, her father was Navy along with her brother.

But when it came time for me to deploy.. things didnt work out, her own parents caught her out doing things that were just wrong.

Somethings you just can't be fixed with a counseling..

I am older and a little wiser,or so I think......

My fiance also serves in the military.

At times its great because there is an understanding when I come home stressed, bothered or have work to do( NCOER's, Counselings or CBT)

Then there are other times when it can get annoying becasue she is in, and I have things go on that I cant share ( UCMJ, NJP, Briefings)

What insight or opinions do the rest of you have?

Posted 10 y ago

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SSG (Join to see)

Posted 10 y ago

My wife and I both currently serve and I believe that it does make it easier for her to understand why I have to work late sometimes, or go away to a school so often. ..The hard part of us both beingin is that sometimes we feel that we don't devote enough time to our family. It is for that reason we make 'family' a priority.

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SFC (Join to see)

Posted 10 y ago

The strength of your relationships is based on character, personality, and the amount of effort of both parties. I feel this to be true regardless of chosen careers (military or civilian).

My wife served as a flight medic, and I am of the opinion she understands more about what I do because of her time spent serving. That makes it a little easier when the demands of the job mean I have late nights or am gone for extended periods of time.

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SSG Jason Hoadley

10 y

Yes I agree,

The person is more important that the career..

But after a decade or so the military begins to become part of your personality, and character.

Thank you for your answer

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SFC (Join to see)

10 y

It's true the military life has a strong influence on who we are, but I think we (soldiers) begin to adapt our personality to fit the job. Every single soldier I have ever served with was still a unique individual. We learn how to live by a set of values specific to our chosen profession, a profession which has it's very own unique culture. If the job defines you than it is truly the job you are in a relationship with, and not another person.

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Pros and cons of having both spouses in ths service

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