Posted on Jan 19, 2015
SSG Parachute Rigger
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I had a former Senior sit me down and tell me that, “I care too much” This individual did not elaborate. I have thought about this since it was said to me and seen where maybe that is possible but I feel guided to help others.

Is that possible. I try to take care of everyone around me and give advice on the things which I know of either through reading or first hand experience.

When I see someone not being taken care of I try my best to assist.

I would really like to hear from the Rally Point Team please. Thank You for your responses.
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Responses: 11
LTC Chief Of Public Affairs And Protocol
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Yes, you can care too much. I can say with certainty that if I cared more about ME, I would be further in my career. Regardless, I stand by my choices because they were aligned with my values. I just wish others shared my (The Army) values.
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SSG Parachute Rigger
SSG (Join to see)
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Yes Sir, LTC (Join to see), I defintiely care to the point of jeopardizing my career at times.
I learned about things which were done outside the regulation to me as a young Solider and I refuse to allow it to happen to those under me. Although some Senior Leaders try to accuse me of being disloyal. Sometimes I am able to assist and others I am not which is obviously frustrating.
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SGT Richard H.
SGT Richard H.
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I know exactly where you're coming from SSG (Join to see). One of my defining moments...the moment when I decided to work harder and become an NCO....came under an unnamed squad leader that pretty much cared only for himself, when I resolved that I was going to work my butt off and make Sergeant so at least one squad in the Army didn't have to work for an a-hole like that guy.
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CMC Robert Young
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SSG Fay, I would offer that it's never possible to care too much. It's what leaders do. They must care or they wouldn't make the sacrifices they do for the people they lead.

However, it is very possible to be so deeply invested in other people's worlds that you shield them from the natural consequences of their actions.

Mentor, advise, lead, guide, teach, encourage, but allow the service member to experience the joy of success and the bitterness of defeat based on their own decision and course of action. It doesn't mean that you don't want the best for them; it means that you can't carry the load for them.

If they fail, and subsequently endure the consequences of their actions, reengage them. Don't shield them from making the decision or the resulting fallout, but don't allow them to lose the lesson either.....

Sounds to me like you are already well on your way to being the type of leader I would follow. Good on you.
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SSG Parachute Rigger
SSG (Join to see)
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Thank You CMC Robert Young, I greatly appreciate your words of wisdom. I also Thank You for your encouragement.
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PO2 Jonathan Scharff
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SSG (Join to see) I would say that its no different that good parenting. If you are a parent you know that you can't care more. You have to show the correct path as well as teach, but also sometimes allow your child to fail so that they can learn from their mistakes also. There is no easy answer to good leading or good parenting. It takes time and experience, but with those you will find your comfort zone. Good luck.
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SSG Parachute Rigger
SSG (Join to see)
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PO2 Jonathan Scharff, that is part of my problem; it is very hard for me to see a young troop fail.
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PO2 Jonathan Scharff
PO2 Jonathan Scharff
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SSG (Join to see) it is hard on all of the good leaders as well as good parents. It is part of the growth process though. As much as we all want to present positive role models and positive mentoring sometimes we learn best through our failures. That does not mean that our leaders or parents were failures, its just means that we are human. As long as you can take a step back from the situation, be reflective, and if you feel that you did everything you could then you have done your part. Being a great leader or parent for that matter doesn't mean that those below you or your children will never fail. Yes, it is one of the toughest parts about mentoring/parenting but it is also what makes you a great leader/parent.
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