Posted on Jun 26, 2016
10 Reasons Marriage Is So Much Better The Second Time Around
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This article is a couple years old but I've always found this topic interesting and I'm curious to others thoughts/opinions regarding this question - Does the second spouse feel some kind of pressure to outlast the first marriage as far as length of time married is concerned?
I've heard the statement more than once and although it's usually accompanied by a chuckle, grin, or meant in a joking manner, I feel the @re's an underlying sentiment in the tone of voice of the person stating it sometimes. Not looking to bash any exes here, keep it civil please!
I've heard the statement more than once and although it's usually accompanied by a chuckle, grin, or meant in a joking manner, I feel the @re's an underlying sentiment in the tone of voice of the person stating it sometimes. Not looking to bash any exes here, keep it civil please!
10 Reasons Marriage Is So Much Better The Second Time Around
Posted from huffingtonpost.com
Military Family
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Posted 8 y ago
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Speaking as a practicing therapist (my specialties are PTSD, marriage, child and adolescent), there are inherent potential dangers and advantages to second marriages. National statistics seem to indicate an equal to higher risk of divorce in subsequent marriages compared to first marriages. A potential advantage to a better second marriage might be found if both parties enter into the new relationship carefully, having learned and applied the valuable lessons from their first, failed experience. Unfortunately, that seems to be rare, because most couples continue to engage with entrenched destructive habits and unrealistic expectations, often due to ignorance or conflicting sub-cultural values. Add to that mix, poor practical skills in communications and general relationship building and possibly the added complications of a blended family, and the walk can be haphazard. Military marriages present with the additional problems associated with the unique pressures of service life. A great deal of my marriage practice deals with couples and groups, marital and pre-marital, providing practical education in specific tools necessary for success. I've found that many couples who *want* to succeed don't know * how* to succeed.
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Right on point sir! This comment "Military marriages present with the additional problems associated with the unique pressures of service life" really strikes a chord to me. I've lived it and I've been a leader to SM's who encountered it, especially when it comes to deployments. Your comments and insights are truly appreciated MAJ Jack Horn, LPC, NCC, CCMHC, CCTP, CCTP-II, CCFP, CDBT, continue the good fight for those who *want* so they can learn *how*.
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"I've found that many couples who *want* to succeed don't know * how* to succeed." I truly wish that my fiance of 10 years and I had met you before our relationship imploded - it's the "how" that was the missing ingredient.
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MAJ Jack Horn, LPC, NCC, CCMHC, CCTP, CCTP-II, CCFP, CDBT
Yup. I found that most of my colleagues talk philosophy (nothing wrong with that) or talk what "success" looks like, but don't educate folks well in the hands on tools needed to make that happen. It's like land navigation, I give you a specific destination coordinate a map and a compass, then don't teach you have to read the map or use the compass. You end up knowing exactly where you want to go. But don't know how to get there.
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Im no marriage expert but we should have known a majority of these before you got married the first time, ESPECIALLY changing your spouse. Theyre not gonna change you so what makes you think you can change them?
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My husband and I got married in 1999, divorced in 2005, and remarried in 2011, to each other!! Definitely better the second time around
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