Posted on Aug 1, 2016
Here's how to find your 'tribe' once you leave the military
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Posted 8 y ago
Responses: 11
Boy, does this resonate with me. When I left the military, I was lost. My "tribe mates" had moved on in their civilian lives and jobs. Most had families - people married younger in my generation. Also, I didn't want to return "home". My father lived there and I didn't want to be anywhere near him, so I was bound to end up as a stranger in a strange land. And coming from five and a half years in the military where you are among tribe mates, it was difficult to adjust. I hadn't really thought of this before, but looking back, I am proud that I survived and thrived in spite of the challenges. Thanks for mentioning it.
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Col Rebecca Lorraine
After 25 years and as a woman, I find I have few to bond with. Wish I'd had this in 2009, but I'm anxious to read the book. I'm older too, so that affects me too. Most have their tribes (we called them cliques in high school).
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CPT Jack Durish
Col Rebecca Lorraine - Can you imagine how they must envy you? Imagine a life in which the best years were spent in high school. Sad.
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Col Rebecca Lorraine
CPT Jack Durish - Envy is not a good trait in a gender specific way. I've found that for a long time! I just find the average woman my age difficult to relate to.
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MSG (Join to see)
Col Rebecca Lorraine - I have found that most civilians (those that have never served), are either too clueless to understand the basics of what it means to have served......to thickheaded to get over their society induced (or self induced) misconceptions of military service..........and then there are those that are just plain lacking in courtesy and common sense.......which in turn makes me not really want to associate with the common person more so than what I already have to.
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This hits home with me as well. I retired and picked up a fixer-upper hobby Farm in the middle of nowhere surrounded by corn and bean fields. I'm too young to be hanging out at the Senior Center in town and too old for the bar scene. I play cards every now and then at a local Tavern. I shoot billiards in the Winter league. My kids have grown and left the nest. That leaves me here surrounded by my Wife's animals. Mercifully, my Wife works so we aren't stuck looking at each other all day, every day. If and when that happens that we both are home all the time, it'll take about 3 weeks before one of us starts digging a hole in the Grove to dispose of a body. ;) Every other day I'll pedal my bike 3.5 miles to town for a beer (or two) and Socialize with the townspeople. I have absolutely no peer group to hang with. I don't mean that in an arrogant manner. Several of my friends Served a few years. I only know of one retired Military guy in town and he's like 30 years older than me.
My Tribe and salvation is the computer.
My Tribe and salvation is the computer.
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Col Rebecca Lorraine
You miss the tribe and connection, but it is hard to rebuild after a time. I think this is why many buy the Harley and join a biker club.
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MSG Pat Colby
Actually I sold my Harley shortly after retiring, Ma'am. I'm not into the mid-life crisis thing and I absolutely despise riding in Packs. Too much can go wrong in the blink of an eye. Plus there's too many people around here that treat riding like a religion and don't understand it's just a mode of transportation. Had I retired near a bigger city, I suppose I could find a niche but then my Wife and I wouldn't have all the freedoms we enjoy now in our little slice of Heaven. We have a huge garden, we raise and slaughter our own chickens and hogs every year in the comfort of our own yard. Our freezers are full of food that WE made. Can't do all that while living in a town/city.
I really do like the solitude but yes I do miss the camaraderie that came with the Army.
I really do like the solitude but yes I do miss the camaraderie that came with the Army.
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