How to Be Happier Without Really Trying - Barking Up The Wrong Tree

The voice in his head kept telling him his career was over. That he would never create anything good again. The voice actually got so bad that back in 1979 he started typing up what it was saying to him... Who was the guy going through this torment? Well, if you’re an American born before the turn of the century, he probably helped raise you:

You say the equivalent of 4000 words to yourself every minute. No, that’s not a typo. Your inner voice speaks faster than a tobacco auctioneer

Mr. Rogers’ inner critic is wreaking havoc… until that final sentence. He goes from saying “I” to calling himself “Fred.” And that’s the same point when there’s hope. And action. It’s no coincidence because, believe it or not, referring to yourself in the first person can cause problems, psychologically.

By using your name, you’re forced to step back a bit emotionally — and that’s a very good thing.

What if you had something everyone wanted and eleven very large men were intent on attacking you to get it? Definitely scary! But what if I told you this was because you’re playing football? Oh, that’s different… But the same. This is taking the perspective of a challenge vs a threat. And most of what we deal with in life are challenges, not violent threats. (Dealing with true violent threats from eleven large men is beyond the scope of this post. Buy a taser.

This is how to be happier without really trying:
Your brain is a time traveler: It projects into the past and future constantly and this can be an express ticket to regret and anxiety. Counteract it with mental distance to regain control.
Say your name: “I” creates problems. Eric thinks Eric should talk to Eric using “Eric.”
Get some mental distance: You can’t make the issue go away but you can broaden your perspective. A tablespoon of salt in a glass of water tastes awful, but a tablespoon of salt in a lake isn’t even noticeable.
Reframe: Your body often can’t tell anxiety from excitement so convert threats to challenges by reinterpreting your feelings.