How to Tame a Belligerent Colleague

Serge faced a conundrum. One of his business partners was in a legal dispute with Serge’s father, Charlie, and asked for his help. Serge knew that his father was prone to suing everyone who crossed his path – including family members. The business partner had repeatedly tried to end this legal fight, to no avail. It seemed like Charlie didn’t want to find a resolution. He preferred to engage in self-sabotage to escalate the conflict. Impulse control was not one of Charlie’s strengths.

Many of us know people like Charlie who enjoy arguing for the sake of argument and who thrive on drama and conflict. Personality types come in many shapes and colours, but quarrelsome people like Charlie don’t belong to a single one. Their combative behaviour is an amalgamation of antisocial (psychopathic), borderline, narcissistic and histrionic personalities.

What makes it even more challenging is that belligerent types have a knack for engaging in unconscious distortions and delusions, which easily leads to conscious lying and fabrication of events. Anyone trying to help must maintain a healthy degree of scepticism about what they’re being told. While mental health professionals will often recognise the pattern, businesspeople and legal professionals may be unable to distinguish fact from fiction.