Hundreds dead after Air Force dining facility runs out of truffles, wagyu beef

"Hundreds of airmen starved to death after the base dining facilities ran out of gourmet foodstuffs, including truffles and wagyu beef, sources confirmed today.

“Last month we had to close down the sushi bar and now this,” Lt. Gen. Marshall B. Webb, commander of the Air Education and Training Command said during a press conference. “The good news is there are a few hundred less mouths to feed, so we will be able to stretch out the remaining Beluga caviar and bluefin tuna for a few more days.”

“This is worse than the Air Force-wide butler strike of ‘98.”