Biden Delivers His Own Eulogy at DNC

President Joe Biden wasn't supposed to give a speech on Monday, the opening day of the Democratic convention in Chicago. He should have been resting up for the main event on Thursday. Everyone else was supposed to be singing his praises, not thanking him for going away. The crowd was supposed to be cheering his reelection, not screaming their lungs out at any mention of his (very much involuntary) departure from public life. Biden didn't come out until 11:30 p.m. Eastern, well past his bedtime and significantly behind schedule, a move that irked some Biden loyalists who complained about how "awful" it was that Democrats had "cut him out of prime time." The crowd cheered politely while Biden listed off his accomplishments, yelled his geezerly yell, and mangled the words written on his giant teleprompter—except when he bragged about (allegedly) reducing unlawful border crossings. They cheered louder when he touted his commitment to "strengthening illegal immigration." They had already expended most of their energy on the younger, more relevant Democrat speakers who were also eager to thank Biden for leaving (against his will) and giving them a joyous and historic candidate.