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Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 9
Some years ago, after 25 years of life as a devoted Protestant, two deployments, and countless personal "dark nights of the soul"...I completed the Rite of Initiation for Adults in the Roman Catholic Church. To be clear, it wasn't because I "doubted" what I had always believed...so much as I had become convinced the "closer to the original" the better, and had come to question some Protestant beliefs and practices in the West...specifically, the "less formal, feel good" parts. I was a military man seeking truth, order, discipline, consistency, challenge and depth.
For the next few years, I dove deep into "being" a Catholic. I spent hours in discussion with my Parish priest, and the local Bishop. I studied writings, history, you name it. I even joined a Chivalric order associated with the Catholic Church.
That's when I first started noticing the "holes".
I could spend a long time and too many words describing each of these in detail, but it all came down to a few undeniable facts. First, I was surprised at how much of Catholicism was based not on scripture, but papal ruling and council edict. Even priests I conferred with would often answer my questions with, "Well, I'm not sure" or, "Perhaps you've got something there...but I cant' say". The ultimate "straw" was when a bishop basically informed me that I was "right", but he couldn't question official policy.
These experiences reminded me of another religion I had encountered in the mountains of Afghanistan; one in which prayers were uttered without understanding...deeds were done to please local clerics, rather than God, and any personal perception of the Divine was subservient to legalistic interpretations of rules only loosely attached to any doctrine.
It took a few more years, but I started studying for myself. I won't say I ever "lost my faith", but I opened myself up to "truth", whatever that truth would reveal itself to be.
People will always offer their explanations, even excuses. Some people may call me crazy, or deny what I've seen, heard and felt with my own senses. None of that matters to me. What does matter is that when I got as far down the "rabbit hole" as I was willing to go...I found out that there is a spiritual realm, and much of what is contained with the Talmud, Torah, the Gospels and the writings of the Apostles rings true. I wish I could say everything I experienced was comforting...but much of it was not. Evil has a personality and intent. As evil as mankind can be, we pale before the source of that darkness. There are forces out there that can weaponize fear, doubt, desire, and pride in ways the world at large ignores and most religions gloss over.
Ultimately, it was in meeting this darkness, that I found my way back to the Light.
Christianity will always be challenged because it offers something that seems both too easy and too hard for us to accept. We want "proof", but something more than that...we want a "standard" we can measure ourselves and others by. It's in that desire for judgement that we often miss out on the real message, which is one of trust, loyalty, willing obedience and eternal compassion. Anyone seeking to understand that soon realizes that both the "standard" and the "judgement" are inescapable without comprehending why Christ came into this world in the first place.
My belief in a literal "hell" has never been sufficient enough to keep me from "sinning"...but my trust and loyalty in God often has been. I'd like to believe that what I, and all mankind will be "judged" by is as it is described in the Scripture:
Romans 8:32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?
Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace you are saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God; 9 it is not from works, so that no one can boast.
IF (and that's with a capital "I") the Pope wishes to ignore the wisdom of the same ancient writers and declare these same passages of hope as "false", by rejecting those offering condemnation...I pray for him. However, I am not surprised. Rejecting an eternal reward or punishment invalidates the loyalty attached to obedience by making all morality subjective...rather than objective.
For the next few years, I dove deep into "being" a Catholic. I spent hours in discussion with my Parish priest, and the local Bishop. I studied writings, history, you name it. I even joined a Chivalric order associated with the Catholic Church.
That's when I first started noticing the "holes".
I could spend a long time and too many words describing each of these in detail, but it all came down to a few undeniable facts. First, I was surprised at how much of Catholicism was based not on scripture, but papal ruling and council edict. Even priests I conferred with would often answer my questions with, "Well, I'm not sure" or, "Perhaps you've got something there...but I cant' say". The ultimate "straw" was when a bishop basically informed me that I was "right", but he couldn't question official policy.
These experiences reminded me of another religion I had encountered in the mountains of Afghanistan; one in which prayers were uttered without understanding...deeds were done to please local clerics, rather than God, and any personal perception of the Divine was subservient to legalistic interpretations of rules only loosely attached to any doctrine.
It took a few more years, but I started studying for myself. I won't say I ever "lost my faith", but I opened myself up to "truth", whatever that truth would reveal itself to be.
People will always offer their explanations, even excuses. Some people may call me crazy, or deny what I've seen, heard and felt with my own senses. None of that matters to me. What does matter is that when I got as far down the "rabbit hole" as I was willing to go...I found out that there is a spiritual realm, and much of what is contained with the Talmud, Torah, the Gospels and the writings of the Apostles rings true. I wish I could say everything I experienced was comforting...but much of it was not. Evil has a personality and intent. As evil as mankind can be, we pale before the source of that darkness. There are forces out there that can weaponize fear, doubt, desire, and pride in ways the world at large ignores and most religions gloss over.
Ultimately, it was in meeting this darkness, that I found my way back to the Light.
Christianity will always be challenged because it offers something that seems both too easy and too hard for us to accept. We want "proof", but something more than that...we want a "standard" we can measure ourselves and others by. It's in that desire for judgement that we often miss out on the real message, which is one of trust, loyalty, willing obedience and eternal compassion. Anyone seeking to understand that soon realizes that both the "standard" and the "judgement" are inescapable without comprehending why Christ came into this world in the first place.
My belief in a literal "hell" has never been sufficient enough to keep me from "sinning"...but my trust and loyalty in God often has been. I'd like to believe that what I, and all mankind will be "judged" by is as it is described in the Scripture:
Romans 8:32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?
Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace you are saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God; 9 it is not from works, so that no one can boast.
IF (and that's with a capital "I") the Pope wishes to ignore the wisdom of the same ancient writers and declare these same passages of hope as "false", by rejecting those offering condemnation...I pray for him. However, I am not surprised. Rejecting an eternal reward or punishment invalidates the loyalty attached to obedience by making all morality subjective...rather than objective.
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MAJ (Join to see)
That's an awesome testimony. And I agree with you. If those who die apart from Christ just "disappear", why would He do what He did? Something about this doesn't add up.
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Thanks for the share. My wife is Catholic and I'll definitely curious to know what her Catholic friends think. I found the Vatican's response that the writer didn't include official quoted statements in the original article suggests the writer is misinterpreting Pope Francis.
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MAJ James Woods
CPT Jack Durish - Receiving the wife's opinion is an implied task that can't be avoided. Haha!
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CPT Jack Durish I was raised Catholic, and saw some of the changes of Vatican II, which opened officially in 1962.
Notable reforms included vernacular worship, changes in religious orders, and expanded roles for laypeople, men and women, in both worship and church administration. These monumental changes allowed Catholics to see their church as a historically contingent, human institution, open to progressive development. For myself, this changed my perception of the Pope from "infallible nearer-to-God entity" to a wise, kind, holy person.
http://www.thearda.com/timeline/tlDenom26.asp
Notable reforms included vernacular worship, changes in religious orders, and expanded roles for laypeople, men and women, in both worship and church administration. These monumental changes allowed Catholics to see their church as a historically contingent, human institution, open to progressive development. For myself, this changed my perception of the Pope from "infallible nearer-to-God entity" to a wise, kind, holy person.
http://www.thearda.com/timeline/tlDenom26.asp
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CPT Jack Durish
During one of my earlier careers as a publicist, I helped the leader of the American branch of a Catholic Group publish a newsletter attempting to reverse Vatican II. Again, I didn't have any skin in the game. I was merely the hired gun (and indeed sometimes encouraged him to tone down some of his tirades). However, I well remember those pre-Vatican II days when Catholics were reviled by Protestants in response to Catholic beliefs that only those baptized by their church were true Christians and thus "saved".
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