Russian Hackers May Have Interfered With Vote On Church Potluck, Local Man Suspects

According to local man Clarence Williams- “The final vote tally appeared to show suspicious activity, with over 40 church members voting to hold the potluck on the January 11 date, and only 12 voting for January 18,” an agitated Williams told reporters Friday.

“I really wanted January 18th to win, and I thought it would win—but it did not. Considering these facts, I am confident the results were influenced by Russian hackers,” he continued, adding that Putin “needs to keep his commie hands” off of the sovereign Independent Baptist church’s affairs.