What is a Love Style? – How We Love

Lt Col (Join to see) I agree. I don't know if you are familiar with Borderline Personality Disorder but it is a direct result of neglect and abuse. I was diagnosed with it finally after years of struggling with personal relationships both platonic and intimate. I felt a huge weight lift off of my shoulders because I went from feeling like I was just broken and messed up beyond repair. I suddenly had this feeling of hope because it is difficult to get the appropriate help if you have no idea exactly what you are trying to get help for. I suddenly was able to get the treatment which is specifically tailored for the treatment and recovery for BPD. My love style was completely created by me during the process of trying to navigate life the best I could without having anyone providing guidance or teaching of any kind. I discovered that just because I had lived with one love style for my whole life didn't mean that I couldn't learn a new one. It is an ongoing process to retrain my brain to think differently about so many things which in turn changes the way I express love.

Mara, I am somewhat familiar with BPD and am sorry to hear about the negative effects it's had on you. Most of us don't live in a vacuum, and we don't know we're broken until we receive feedback from those we enter into relationship with. Learning my love style was an extremely liberating experience, because for the first time, I knew not only what was wrong, but I had actionable steps on how to heal from it and be better able to love others. Most of us aren't taught how to "feel and deal" with our emotions in a healthy and productive way. Thank you for sharing!

Lt Col (Join to see) you said exactly what I was trying to say except you said it way better.

If you (or anyone else) haven't had a chance to take the Love Style quiz, I highly recommend it - https://howwelove.com/love-style-quiz/

Don, I wish I had known about this long ago also. Through my own journey, I have found this research and information to be extremely eye-opening and healing. To know something is wrong, but not know why or how to fix it is extremely frustrating. This resource helped me self-diagnose the "emotional wounds" I carried into adulthood which prevented me from truly bonding with others on a deeper level.