Posted on Nov 27, 2015
SSG Intelligence Sergeant
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Anyone have some good/funny CQ stories?

Sitting here in Germany, almost 0200. I need some entertainment to get me through til 0900. Anybody want to share some good stories on CQ (fire guard, staff duty, etc)? I personally don't have any. Just weeks of watching old movies and memorizing how many tiles are on the ceiling. Had a few people call in drunk during other nights. I'm not sure how you can call the Staff Duty but not know the number to a cab. haha
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CSM Command Sergeant Major
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There I was, no s@it, 2002 in Fort Huachuca pulling BDE staff duty. It was me, a SGT, as the runner and a SSG as the CQ. We were sitting there watching TV early in the night while we occasionally glanced at the large monitor next to TV. The monitor had 16 cameras feeding into it watching the section of the building that included AIT students that were close to graduating. These Soldiers were in an AIT that was about a year long. Once they reached their final phase, they moved into the permanent party barracks building.

Anyways, we were watching TV when I glanced over and saw a Soldier chasing two Soldiers down a hallway. Here is the kicker.....he was totally naked. In addition to his nakedness, he was armed. Armed with a fire extinguisher he took from the wall. He continued to chase down the two Soldiers, who obviously did something with his clothes, and he began shooting them with extinguisher making a giant mess.

It took the SSG and I about 15 sec. to realize what we were seeing before we went into action. Right when he started to make a phone call to the unit Senior Drill Sergeant, the fire alarm went off for the building. This triggered the fire department and MP's to come to the building. We got ahold of the SDS who was forced to call the CO, 1SG which brought the BC and CSM along with them. I evacuated the Soldiers from the building and ensured it was clear. I went to the naked guys room and found a ton of alcohol(I think the drinking age was still 18 on post then). It has been so long that I forget the 5W's on the aftermath of that night. I know the kids still went on to graduate, I think they may have done it as E-1's.

Needless to say that was one of my quickest Staff Duty events. The biggest learning point for me was that I learned it is a federal offense to discharge a fire extinguisher without there being a fire. Knowing is half the battle. :)
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CSM Command Sergeant Major
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Yes, it was the 35T AIT. A long time ago, they would put them in Riley Barracks (up where BDE HQ is) if they phased to a certain point. As you now know, it went back to the old way. No, we got clothes on him. :)
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SGT Myles Taylor
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Oh god, now this is gold SGM
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SSG Instructor
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You win the interwebs
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SFC Brigade Cbrn Nco
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G.I. Joe!
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SFC James J. Palmer IV aka "JP4"
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So there I was...

It was 2012. I was the BDE SDO which means I was in charge of basically walking around to all the BN SD and making sure people were awake. Well I got to my last check and the BN Staff Duty NCO was knocked out cold. I mean cold. So I walked in, stared at him for a second. Then I walked out quietly and shut the door. I stormed back in and yelled "ROGER THAT SGM!!!" Man he woke up and snapped to parade rest so fast it was freightening. I then said "I think you get the point right?" "Roger that SSG!"

No problems since then.

Gotta love it! Lol.

JP
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CPT Jason Torpy
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not really a funny story. A Sergeant choose to leave CQ while I was duty officer. I tried to be reasonable but then she freaked out and refused to return to duty. I had to call the MPs and then she wasn't a Sergeant anymore... No matter how boring it gets, just do it.
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SSG Intelligence Sergeant
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CPT Jason Torpy , sounds like the right call was made. I can see taking turns to sleep sometimes, but never just refusing to come back.
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SSG Instructor
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Life's tough...it's tougher when you're dumb.
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