Posted on Feb 16, 2015
Is is appropriate for the Military to interfere with personnel's personal life and marraige, or should they mind their business?
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All too often a Military spouse can give a call to a Chain of Command no matter how ridiculous the complaint the Chain of Command reacts. A text message deemed inappropriate by a spouse call 1SG, stayed out too late calls 1SG, got upset about something call 1SG. On the otherside of the equation, you can catch your spouse with a line of people outside to have sex with, who can you call, or what can you do. Your wife leaves home and doesn't come back for a week who can you call? My problem is if the Military is going to empower a spouse than there needs to be something in place for soldiers. The Army's fix all is to move the soldier into the barracks while he still pays the bills of where his/her spouse is residing. Is that fair? Could this be the reason so many Military couples divorce?
Posted in these groups: 
Relationships
Divorce
Relationships Divorce
Edited 9 y ago
Posted 9 y ago
Responses: 9
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Unfortunately the spouses do not fall under UCCMJ like those wearing the uniform do, and the benefit of the doubt will almost always go to the spouse until such time as evidence is found supporting the servicemember's claim, and even then their is nothing that can be done outside of possibly barring the spouse from coming on post or removing the family from post housing and even then it will be held against the servicemember. It's one of those things one deals with for the sake of serving this country, is it right, not at all, but unfortunately that's the way it is.....
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In my first two commands I would tell spouses and parents who would call to complain about my Soldiers that 'I train and develop good Soldiers, not husbands and fathers.' If a Soldier's professional work was being affected by his personal issues, we would intervene, but other than that, we left his husbandly and fatherly duties to his upbringing.
If the spouse is cheating or bat-shit crazy, we wouldn't be marriage counselors, but we would recommend and assist setting them up with marriage counseling through Military OneSource or ACS.
Don't get me wrong, if the Soldier was neglecting his wife/children where he was withholding money, food, etc, then we would intervene, but for the most part, we try to leave personal lives alone.
If the spouse is cheating or bat-shit crazy, we wouldn't be marriage counselors, but we would recommend and assist setting them up with marriage counseling through Military OneSource or ACS.
Don't get me wrong, if the Soldier was neglecting his wife/children where he was withholding money, food, etc, then we would intervene, but for the most part, we try to leave personal lives alone.
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Unfortunately military members get the short stick in some cases.
It is the military member that is in contract with the government/military, not the spouse. The spouse is under not obligation to remain faithful or not do drugs.
As a leader, you have the power to advise the service member in what actions to take.
We (as a nation) have not gotten to know who we marry before 'jumping in'. We have also lost the mindset of commitment being forever. Courtship has been lost to speed dating and online match making. Divorce is a signature on a piece of paper - easy way out, no real commitment. As leaders and military members, we need to get to know a person before marriage. Not every person can handle the stress of military life.
It is the military member that is in contract with the government/military, not the spouse. The spouse is under not obligation to remain faithful or not do drugs.
As a leader, you have the power to advise the service member in what actions to take.
We (as a nation) have not gotten to know who we marry before 'jumping in'. We have also lost the mindset of commitment being forever. Courtship has been lost to speed dating and online match making. Divorce is a signature on a piece of paper - easy way out, no real commitment. As leaders and military members, we need to get to know a person before marriage. Not every person can handle the stress of military life.
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