Posted on Feb 17, 2015
SGT Kristin Wiley
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The military is a professional organization instilled on disciple and structure. As such, an authoritative leadership style thrives. While there is nothing wrong with this leadership style, in my opinion, most leaders with this style lack a critical leadership trait. Empathy.

When leaders empathize with their troops they are forming a social bond based on trust and respect. It shows that you feel and understand the hardships they are enduring, and although you may not have the means to relieve those hardships you can provide the camaraderie and support to endure. Empathic leaders are observant of those under their care, and are skilled at active listening.

Empathy is even listed under the Leadership Requirements Model – Character in ADP 6-22. Yet, the Army rarely discusses this leadership trait that is essential to building many of the requirements in the Army Leadership Requirements Model.

I read a lot of books, and these books always portray the protagonist as an empathic leader who stands against the odds at all costs for what is right. A leader you want to follow and whose example encourages you to be a better person; while the antagonist is cold and unyielding, and uses fear and intimidation to influence his followers. So why do so many military leaders adapt this antagonist leadership style? Are our leaders lacking empathy? And what can we do about it?

LTC Harry C. Garner, U.S. Army, Retired wrote a great article on the topic of empathy, I encourage you to read it: http://usacac.army.mil/cac2/cgsc/repository/dcl_GarnerArticle.pdf
Posted in these groups: Leadership abstract 007 Leadership
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COL Strategic Plans Chief
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I'll start with your middle paragraph. On the OER now, there are required comments on all of the attributes and competencies desired in an officer. One of those contains empathy as a subset. Now...how do you quantify that? Resiliiency is also on there. How do you quantify that in words? Very difficult. Even more difficult is actual empathy if you are set apart from the social demographic you are trying to empathize with. I am not your "typical" officer. I grew up in a two bedroom "duplex" (hovel) behind a bar on a dirt road. My dad was a laborer: truck driver, deep pipe layer (don't get any ideas...he was 5'5" and 150lbs and could fit through pipes checking fiber-optic cables and such), carpenter, mechanic, etc. We stuggled. My mom was an enlisted cook in the Army and never made it past Spec-6 because she was always getting in trouble. She married an infantry man. I grew up rough. That means I can empathize better than most. If you grew up in upper-middle class America in glorious suburbia, went to West Point, and then became an officer, you are going to have a harder time. It isn't impossible, it's just harder. I have to balance the good of the unit versus the good of the Soldier on a daily basis. Now...what's more important? My answer: you don't know until each problem set arises and you have to look somone in the eye. It's hard, but that's why they call it command...and leadership.
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SGT Kristin Wiley
SGT Kristin Wiley
9 y
I would agree with you and say its harder for the privledged to develop empathy. As leaders, I would expect them to recognize their inabilitiy to use this trait effectively and find a way to use the tools at their disposable to develop a solution. For example, consult a leader who can empathize with their troops. Or others leaders lead by example and particpate in the tasks they expect their troops to perform so they can develop empathy.
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COL Jean (John) F. B.
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SGT Kristin Wiley

I absolutely think that good leaders must have empathy. Nothing is black and white.

There are different reasons and different circumstances in every situation and leaders must be able to look at all aspects in determining the right course of action. Showing empathy is not a sign of weakness. It is a trait of a caring and involved leader.
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CSM Brigade Operations (S3) Sergeant Major
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SGT Kristin Wiley

I have commented on this type of discussion quite frequently here on RP. Character is the base attribute of leadership, you cannot be a leader without it. The Army Values, Warrior Ethos, Discipline, and yes, Empathy all fall under Character. You absolutely must have Character!

I would strongly caution putting empathy above the other sub-traits under Character. I am not saying to completely dismiss it but, you should use it sparingly. Human beings can sense empathy in their leaders much easier than any other trait because unlike the others it's emotional. Is it a weakness? It could definitely be considered one from some peoples view and maybe some of your subordinates.

Empathy definitely has it's place and time, as mentioned in most of the comments. Finding the right mix of leadership takes a long time and you will never perfect it. You are definitely on the right track and it's good to see young NCOs reading doctrine.

Great Post!
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SGT Kristin Wiley
SGT Kristin Wiley
9 y
Sir,
I wouldn't put it above any other trait. I believe that leadership traits work harmonious with one another. If it can be sensed easier, how is it so lacking in our leaders?

If it is in the Army Leadership Requirements Model it should be encouraged in the right situations. If we don't use empathy, how can our soldiers learn when it is necessary to use? Our job as NCOs is to train soldiers, if we train them properly to use this trait they'll at least have the tools to try to use it effectively.
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CSM Brigade Operations (S3) Sergeant Major
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SGT Kristin Wiley
I never said not to use empathy and I never said not to include empathy in training. Yes, leadership traits work harmoniously but, not all traits are created equal.

Empathy = sympathy, compassion, understanding. It means a lot of things and yes a leader should have all of those and use them when required in certain situations. But, if you use empathy constantly you become empathetic to everything.

Let's look at my job as an Infantryman. If I am empathetic central do you think I would be good at my job? Do you think I would be able to kill the enemy when necessary? Or, would I feel sympathetic towards my enemy? Would I be able to accept prudent risk and send my Soldiers, and myself into something that there was a good chance we would not survive? Or would I be to sympathetic?

That's a pretty drastic example but too much empathy will allow your Soldiers to take advantage of you as a leader. There is a time and place and you must have empathy in your toolbox without a doubt. I am just saying it's a sub-trait and using the Army Values, the Warrior Ethos and discipline more frequently with empathy sprinkled in where needed, in my opinion will better build your character as a leader.
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SGT Kristin Wiley
SGT Kristin Wiley
9 y
I think as an Infantryman, you don't need to use it terms of being 'soft', but you need to understand how your soldiers are feeling especially in a tough situation (combat or personal). This gives you the capacity to find the best solution for your soldiers and the mission. Empathy would help you give your soldiers the courage and motivation to fight on knowing that survival is slim. I would rather have troops fighting to their last breath then laying down their arms in defeat because of a seemingly hopeless situation. "I will never accept defeat. I will never quit." Empathy is like knowing the hearts and minds of your soldiers, knowing what it takes to keep their head in the fight. The empahty you are describing seems more along the lines of sympathy/pity.
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CSM Brigade Operations (S3) Sergeant Major
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SGT Kristin Wiley
Empathy is sympathy, they are synonymous. I don't know if I am getting my point across or if it's getting lost in translation. Again, I completely agree a lot of leaders lack or have not developed empathy in the way they lead and that empathy is an important trait a leader needs to build their character. However, you continue to push empathy as a central focus point for leadership.

You say that empathy gives you the capacity to find the best solution for your Soldiers and help give them the courage and motivation to fight. I would say that empathy plays a small part in doing that compared to some of the other leadership attributes below...

Presence - Confidence, resilience
Intellect - Sound judgment, interpersonal tact
Leads - Builds trust, leads by example
Develops - creates a positive environment. es sprit de corps

Now, empathy can be inserted into all of those attributes but it is not the central trait driving the leadership. You quoted the Warrior Ethos which falls under character along with empathy, again I believe the Warrior Ethos is the stronger trait but to fully instill the Warrior Ethos in your Soldiers you need to add a little empathy.

You are absolutely correct about the lack of empathy in leaders but it just sounds like you are pushing empathy to the top of the leadership requirement model and I just don't agree with an empathetic central leadership style for a military leader.

Below is part of a comment I made on another post about separating a NCO with 11.5 years in service that had only six months remaining. I gave this personal example because it shows that empathy is an important part of leadership but I used more than just empathy however in this certain situation it was probably the most prominent trait.

I had a female SSG in my battalion that was having a lot of issues with her child dependent and ex husband prior to the battalion deploying to Afghanistan. She couldn't get a proper family care plan. She was an outstanding NCO and I talked to her and told her that by the regulation I had to initiate separation. She completely understood, she was upset but understood. That discussion bothered me for days, it's all I could think about so I made a decision.

I told her that I was going to leave her back as the rear detachment NCOIC for the Female Engagement Team company. That would give her nine months to get her dependent situation squared away and if it wasn't, separation would be initiated. She did an outstanding job on rear detachment, fixed her dependent issue, was DA selected for Drill Sergeant but refused that because she was nominated for a ROTC scholarship. She is currently a cadet at the University of Texas El Paso. I can't wait to salute her!

If I wouldn't have used empathy in that situation that SSG would be out of the Army and we would of lost what is going to be a great officer. I mention this so you understand that I am not a hard nosed asshole but I fully understand leadership.

Great discussion!
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