How likely is my spouse to be charged with adultery and fraternization? What type of punishment should be expected?

WOW!!! Where to begin. For 1 sorry for this happening. 2. This way above my pay grade. Its hard me to comment. Not trying to sound like im on one side, I'm sure there is another side to this. However I'm just going by what your saying. My advice, this can get real ulgy and go wayyyy left quickly and messy (more than what it is now). I would say whatever happens stick with facts and not hear say etc. Present factually evidence to whoever you have see for a divorce and keep civil and peaceful not so much for yourself but for your child. They will feel the brunt of it. Sorry I can't help you more and I'm sorry you are going through this.

Based on an entire lifetime around the military, I would advise that you forget about sticking it to him. The only person you make miserable is you. Instead, get divorced, melt all the gold, make a freedom ring, and count yourself lucky that you have most of your life in front of you still. This plan is the absolute best for your child. Never say anything negative about your husband if the kid is close enough to hear it. Hint: assume the child can listen to everything you think or say unless they are in another city.

If you succeed in ruining his military career, how will that affect your child's life? How will it impact your divorce settlement? How can someone who has difficulty finding a job with decent pay afford child support? STOP! Before you say, "I do not want child support," understand that it is not yours: it belongs to the child. You have no legal right to refuse it. If nothing else, open a college fund for the child. It is their money; you merely exercise custodianship and the duty to spend it wisely.

Do you plan to stay in until retirement? Does your husband? If you do not intend to, but your husband does, what benefits do you forego as a former spouse by sending him to Leavenworth? Would you give up part of his retirement pay, commissary, exchange, and medical coverage? Would the child give those up as well?

If you can get the anger out of your system and move forward with your life, your road to happiness is much shorter. Holding onto bitterness only hurts you. Even worse, hatred means he still has control over you. Dump him, flush his hurt, fake politeness around him (graduation, marriage, grandkids), and find someone who makes you happy (if you need someone). You just completed your first attempt, so you know what to avoid the next time. It is a lot like buying your second new car: you learned how the dealership screwed you last time, and now you know how to push them away this time.

Develop a dark sense of humor. The more you can laugh, the better you will feel. Do not hold a grudge against the other woman if she is a stranger to you. Guess how that relationship will terminate? You can start working on your sympathetic, "Oh, my God! He did what to you? Bless your heart."

Love your job, love your kid, and love your life. As for the husband, forget about him. You have the best he would ever have given you in your child.

I might be old enough to be your grandfather. We bump into each other you get a free hug. There is some great advice in these pages. God, family, home, country in that order. A base lawyer will cover your military butt. But a good civilian lawyer will get half his shit, a good settlement, child support and make him pay for your lawyer. But do not obsess over it. Come out with your head held high. Yep when I was in and the pay sucked there were only a few things we could do for cheap adult entertainment but rules didn’t get broken and lines crossed. I don’t know what your relationship is but God is the only one who has never disappointed me to include myself. The trick is knowing what not to ask for. You’ll be fine and there is someone out there deserving of you. Take your time. I hope you have support for you child so your duties don’t conflict too badly.

The first question I have is: What do you want out of your marriage? Do you want to remain married to a man who flagrantly cheats on you? Do you want a divorce? Make that decision first. Let the Army figure out whether they'll punish him because other than revenge, there's no reason for you to care at this point. If he is reduced in rank, then that's less money for his family and if you pursue divorce and child support, you want him to be earning top dollar. Just some food for thought. Take care of yourself and your daughter. Embrace and lean on the rest of your family to support you through this turmoil. He has made his decisions about the importance of his marriage vows, fidelity to his wife, and his family commitments. Time now for you to make your decisions.

Based on what you're providing me, your husband is a scumbag. As far as his punishment, I'm not sure. I know that adultery is frowned upon, but I'd rarely seen anyone actually punished for it in the military. I have, however, seen lives get destroyed for fraternization. I know of soldiers still confined in South Korea over it. Every single one of them I saw get busted for it while I was there also got busted down to Private. I'm going to exclude the senior leaders that were guilty of it, though, because none of them were ever punished for it. I'm sorry I don't have a better answer, but best of luck to you.

Praying for you during this very difficult situation. I would advice you seek out a Chaplain.

Praying for you during this very difficult situation. I would advice you seek out a Chaplain.

He could get anything from an Article 15 to being discharged for conduct unbecoming of an NCO. So can the mistress(es). I’ve seen it happen before. When I was deployed in Iraq there was a huge bust on Soldiers who basically had a hush-hush sex club.

It’s hard to prove. Unless there is clear evidence of the act, he is unlikely to ever face charges.

I’m really sorry—that is AWFUL