Am I a bad NCO or just inexperienced?

Having your peers not enforce standards is always a tough row to hoe. I earned a behind the back nickname of Mr. Military, because I took great pride in what I was doing and what the people I was responsible for leading were doing. Instead of thinking it as a counseling that could result in a loss of composure, perhaps you could look on it as a learning opportunity for the individual the counseling is directed toward. I had an electronic file marked learning opportunities, that represent the verbal counseling I was required to do. Very rarely did my people put me in the position of taking it beyond verbal counseling, and making it a very official thing. I was friendly with mine, because I had a high percentage of juniors that responded well that way. For a very small percentage I had to be more directive in nature. Adjusting your technique and approach, AND rehearsing what you intend to say, as well as possible rebuttals may make future counselings easier. That you get the point across of how they are in the wrong, is at least as important as how you get that point across. I hope this helps you as you grow into greater and greater leadership roles.

When someone becomes a NCO, they should be moved to a new unit. It causes a lot of issues with those friendships and brotherhood that have been built, often from boot camp. New unit lets the separation happen and starts the NCO on the right foot without putting him over the guys that new him as a FNG right there with them.

As for losing your cool, sometimes it's necessary. Stern wording is not an issue so long as your honest goal is to improve your troops performance and not to insult or demean. In a medical career field it can be hard to enforce military discipline and order but it is your job, not because the regs say so but, because when shit explodes and people die soldiers listen to the dude they know wants to get the job done and get them home. Sometimes you gotta be an ass, as long as you look out for the troops who get it done.

I see that you’re an AMEDD NCO, that always seems to be a challenge since it seems that most AMEDD Soldiers (Officers, NCOs, Junior Enlisted) are pretty relaxed and I think that is in part due to the high number of direct commission officers who are more interested in being clinical providers than Soldiers. What has worked best for me is when I see a Soldier doing something wrong I simply ask them “Soldier, why are you doing that?” Then they usually explain and I’m then able to explain the regulation. I only usually need fro raise my voice if they start arguing with me. Most Soldiers just don’t know or we’re not trained properly. I’m assuming you are correcting E-4 and below and they resent you for it. Hell, I’ve had AMEDD NCOs (usually in a hospital) complain and wine like junior enlisted. I would try different approaches and see which one gets you the best results. In the end, you are not thier to be liked but should be respected. It’s a tough balance.

Being a good leader is hard. If it wasn't everyone would be one. But being a good leader doesn't mean you have to be the disciplinarian or a (bitch). You have to develop the type of leadership that makes your soldiers want to do what they need to do. Not because they have to but because they want to. The best example is like Tom Sawyer convincing everyone to white wash the fence for him, and like doing it. Be the leader people follow because they want to not because the have to.

SGT (Join to see) as horrible as it sounds if a unit has not enforced standards often the individuals who try will be viewed in a negative light until they depart. If the next person comes in and enforces the standard they are better off as it is now the norm. With that being said never apologize for enforcing the standards. Do your job to standard and hold those within your sphere accountable. Work with your peers and supervisors to bring the level of standards back to the Army level if not higher. Sometimes it takes a lot and is draining. That is why so many give up and just settle into the flow and ride out their assignments. This is not the right thing to do and not a good example for junior leaders and Soldiers to see.

On a side not be careful about losing your cool. If the chain of command is not enforcing the standards and are trying to just get by they may try to use that as justification to move you to keep it all calm. Again, not the right thing for them to do, but if they are not doing the right thing already they may just want to protect their own and that can impact you directly.

Keep your chin up and take pride that you are doing your job and living the NCO creed. Keep at it and know that we on Rally Point are here if you need support or advice.

You give them what they need not necessarily what they want.... its tough to make the tough decisions but thats what you signed up for....

In the Infantry Squad Leader's Course, I did what I was told.....When I was the "Squad Leader", If anyone didn't, they got dressed down in a Technicolor vocabulary that included many profanities not heard before by the class. I only had to dress down one Marine as Squad Leader, him a Sgt., me a Cpl. After, everyone said "He's a mean little fuck, but he's right"....Took it as a compliment.

Learn to separate the rules that save lives from those that promote good order and discipline. Be seen as the fanatic for saving your people first and your passion for good order and discipline will catch on.

Heed the advice on getting a senior NCO to mentor you as this journey continues.

Good luck - and thank you for serving.

It's kind of how your leadership is. You need to understand them before going to them. Obviously there is alot involved with your situation. Just a quick version is you have two types of leaders 1. Those who care. 2. Those who care about their NCOER/OER. To sum that up if you pay attention to your Seniors you will know how to go at them. Why because you have those out there that don't want anything to do with punishment being under their Company because they feel they will get a bad rating when it's their next eval. Then you have those that now and understand by doing punishment others will take notice and the unit theoretically be better as a whole. Of course this version would be of the best option. Is this all inclusive nope but I think your situation falls inline with it. After 18 years, soon to be 10th duty assignment, 2 MOS's, Drill Sergeant and Recruiting I've seen and been around plenty of leadership types and this is the best I can sum them up. Maybe it will help some before dealing with your Seniors leaders maybe not at your current place but with future leaders you will have.