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Posted on Sep 29, 2015
An actual police report from Camp Pendleton
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Apparently this was an actual police report from Camp Pendleton in San Diego, CA...
Crime
Camp Pendleton
Humor
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 43
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I'm with LTC (Join to see) , I call BS on the authenticity too... because typical military police reports don't sound that intelligent, nor are they that complete. They usually look like a drunk racoon wrote them.
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Sgt Ken Prescott
"They usually look like a drunk racoon wrote them."
Should've put a beverage warning on that.
Should've put a beverage warning on that.
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SSG Roderick Smith
I can count at least 4 times I've come within 2 feet of a racoon. In residential areas, they find all kinds of crap to eat and will approach you pretty aggressively. I had one advance on me during a walking patrol once... it seemed pretty determined. Fortunately, OC spray is VERY effective.
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WTF that's some serious drunk ingenuity. I'm: a) Impressed b) laughing c) shaking my head
The guy probably needs counseling and alcohol treatment (I mean the breathalyzer on his vehicle is a sign already...)
The guy probably needs counseling and alcohol treatment (I mean the breathalyzer on his vehicle is a sign already...)
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MCPO Roger Collins
Exactly. If someone feels the need to punish, give hem the Rabie's series as a result of the raccoon bite. In today's Navy, he should do a little career planning for civilian life.
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Improvise Adapat and overcome. Even if it means using some poor bastard raccoon as a bellows on your interlock device.
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That is the funniest story I have read in a long time. Had to have 3 other guys come over to my office to read it. Since it was a Navy guy it is good to see the raccoon was not sexually assaulted also.
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Seriously, Don't believe everything you read on the Internet. It's very humerous and thought provoking, though. I give it 4 out of 5 stars for originality.
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I think I am going to start posting the "Friday Funnies" from the Naval Safety Center
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If this is true (verified) - this is arguably the greatest "sea story" of all time. *Insert Will Ferrell's "I'm not even mad..." meme*
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CPL Timothy Lane
MSG (Join to see) - sadly this story is great. However while in Southern Korea in 1990/1 I was driving Cpt. D.W. Bump he had us on the road for a fourth night and told me to stop. When he got in he threw me a pair of nods. I had a two second crash course and off we went. We were black out driving and we had a baily bridge truck following us. I do not know where we were but the driver of the bridge truck went off the road and cliff. The Cpt told me to stop and went back to reconnect. Unfortunately alcohol was involved. If you drink on duty do not endanger some one else. Also there was supposed to be a Non Com with the Bridge truck. The job is dangerous enough with out the raccoon.
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