Posted on Aug 20, 2015
Anyone else have problems making new friends after leaving the military?
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My husband and I are both prior service, we have made a lot of great friends in our career with the military, but since getting out we have had trouble making friends. Can anyone relate?
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Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 20
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I haven't been able to make a single new friend other than my wife since I got out. I thought it was due to the town I lived in, because I seem have no problem making friends when I travel.
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SSgt Sarina Gordon-Singson
I live in a small town, most people in my town were born, raised here, and have never left.
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It is difficult, as only those who served can understand our language. I have struggled with how civilians who have never served, create so much stress and drama in their day to day lives. Not to mention all of the ridiculous questions I get, you know, "have you killed someone", "do you have PTSD", and those like it. It is a different environment and part of transition, is to understand that 99% of the population won't understand what it is like to be a Service Member.
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funny thing I thought was just me.Like I have zero friends here in Virginia.
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Other than a few civilians, who knew me while I was in the military, no friends here. After being out 11 years, and 61 y.o., I don’t stress it.
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I had a good friend "non-veteran " we never talked military and got along for a few years until I heard him lying to a family member about his military background , he wasn't aware I was listening, I didn't say anything, but it pissed me off because he fabricated the entire story he was telling this family member, he lost all credibility and haven't talked to him since
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I found that many dont quite understand being our brains have been rewired for service. We really don't think the same. I have to connect with people through other common interests. Not everyone gets me and they dont hang out. But when you come across those few who like your extra flare, theyre definite keepers. Even then, we connect through other interests. Outside a strong desire to throw a grenade or sleep under the hot sun, I enjoy seeing, knitting, camping, etc... You know, super civilian stuff.
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Yes, I was medically retired this year on the 19th. Since I have been home on leave since Dec 6th, I have had zero interaction with other people other then my family or the basic hi how are you passing by people in the gym. I don’t want to sound weak but it is getting really hard for me being alone all the time.
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